Say The Things

215: Finding Your Voice in Partnership: Ten Thousand Small Conversations

16 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Nobody decides to stop being honest with their partner. It happens in increments — one small reasonable decision at a time — until the thing you ...

214: Finding Your Voice For the First Time: Clumsy Is Not Failure

09 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

  Your voice is going to come out wrong the first time. Too loud, too soft, or completely sideways. That's not a sign to stop — that's the FFT. T...

213: The Fear Is Real. And It's Lying To You

02 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

You can understand exactly why you go quiet and still go quiet anyway. Insight isn't the same as change. What keeps the silence in place isn't confus...

212: Who Taught You To Be Quiet?

26 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I explore something that sits underneath so much of our lives — our voice. Not the one we speak with, but the one that knows what w...

211: The Bridge Doesn't Wait

19 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

I lost my best friend from high school this January. The bridge between us was always there — until it wasn't. That's what this episode is about. Th...

210: One Small Reason: 5 Japanese Wisdoms for Building a Life You Love

12 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

What if purpose isn't something you discover once and hold onto forever? What if it's something you discover in small ways — every single day? Over ...

209: I Forgot Who I Was. Turns Out, I Was Just Busy.

05 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

When did you last have margin? Not a vacation, not a Sunday — real margin. Blank space that belonged to no one and nothing. Just you, unhurried and ...

208: Caring on Purpose: Your Cares Are Currency. Spend Them Wisely

26 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

That flat, resigned Bohemian Rhapsody line — nothing really matters to me — caught in my throat at 14 and still does. What if it's actually permis...

207: From Foggy to Flowing: The Fix

19 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

You're not depressed. You're not fine either. You're somewhere in the middle — and there's actually a name for it. In this episode, I'm unpacking wh...

206: Choosing Happiness, Taking Risks & Forgiving Yourself: Deathbed Wisdom (Part 2)

12 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to part two of our deathbed regrets series. Last week I covered the first four regrets—this week I'm finishing with the final six, and these...

205: 4 Regrets You Can Avoid (Part 1)

05 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This week I'm covering the first four of ten deathbed regrets shared with hospice nurses—not to depress you, but to give you a roadmap while you sti...

204: Who Am I Now? Reclaiming Yourself After Decades of Being Everything to Everyone

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver's famous question might make your throat tighten. That's becaus...

203: The F*cking First Time: Learning to Sit with Silence and What It Wants to Tell You

22 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Over the past nine weeks, you've done the work. You've set boundaries, clarified your values, and practiced giving yourself grace. But now you have so...

202: The Grief No One Talks About in Personal Growth

15 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

_*]:min-w-0 font-claude-response" style= "box-sizing: border-box; --tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0...

201: Why You Make Yourself Small to Keep the Peace

08 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Here's the reality: when we create boundaries and make changes, we will disappoint people. There's no way around it. But until two weeks ago, I'd nev...

200: Boundaries Get Tested Before They Get Respected

01 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Understanding you need boundaries? Fine. Setting them? Different story. This week we're getting practical—I'm walking you through exactly how to se...

199: When You Stop Being Available, People Get Uncomfortable

25 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The uncomfortable truth is when you change your values, the people who benefited from the old ones resist. This week we're talking about boundaries a...

198: Words to Choose When Life Pulls You Back

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You can do all the deep work—understand your should storms, clarify your values, honor your seasons—but on a random Wednesday when the old patter...

197: Understanding Your Emotional Seasons

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I used to think something was wrong with me when I couldn't keep up with other moms who seemed to be thriving while I was barely making it to bedtime....

196: Whose Values Are You Living?

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we're choosing what comes next—your actual values, not the ones you inherited. I'm sharing the moment my therapist asked what values I wa...

195: The Should Storm: How to Stop Living by Expectations That Were Never Yours

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week I'm naming something I think we've all felt but rarely talk about: the should storm. You know that voice that tells you you're failing at ev...

194: Doing All the Things Is Killing Your Tree of Life

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I'm kicking off a new series about letting go to uncover who we really are, inspired by John Acuff's Greatest Year Ever course. Just like the trees in...

193: How to Come Back After You've Burned It Down

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Repair is the most skipped step in conflict work, and I've had to do a lot of it with my daughter after years of being too quick, too certain, and too...

192: What to Ask Before, During, and After the Fight

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Last Tuesday, my daughter came home frustrated and every instinct told me to fix it, control it, be right about it—but I paused and asked her what s...

191: Willpower Won't Regulate Your Nervous System

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Turns out, you can't think your way out of a fight-or-flight response—and that's why willpower alone never fixes how we show up in conflict. I'm wal...

190: The Weapons We Carry in Conflict

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I used to be lightning-fast with my words—shutting down arguments before anyone could respond, winning every fight while losing connection. This wee...

189: What If the Noise Holds the News?

16 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Most of us are grinding through life, dismissing the whispers of our body and our relationships because we don't have time to pause. But what if the n...

188: Introducing Your Circle of Control

09 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A few weeks ago, I did an exercise that completely changed how I see control—and honestly, it pissed me off before it set me free. I drew a circle a...

187: Stop Competing, Start Connecting: Lessons from the Forest

02 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Research shows that trees don't compete for sunlight – they share resources through an underground network, warning each other of dangers and suppor...

186 The Truth About Truth: Stop Being Manipulated by Information

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In a world where we're constantly fed opinions disguised as facts, I'm sharing the three simple questions that transformed how I process information. ...

185: The Energy You Bring

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I took an extended summer break and found myself not in the right headspace to return, which got me thinking about the energy we bring into the world....

184: Self-Advocacy Hypocrisy: I Tell My Kids To Speak Up for Themselves & I Self-Silence

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I'm exploring the connection between self-advocacy and self-silencing as I head into a break because I'm experiencing burnout myself, which feels perf...

183: Negotiate like a Woman?

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I explore why women negotiate as often as men but succeed only half as often, and how we've been taught to negotiate like men when we should be levera...

182: Naming What You Feel

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, I explored how women can move beyond stereotypical emotional expression by developing emotional intelligence and expanding our emo...

181: Easter Candy Wrappers and Family Doormats: Time to Get Real About Conflict

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I'm breaking down the ridiculous stereotypes we've been handed about women in conflict – from the "hysterical female" to the "peacekeeper at all cos...

180: Stop Apologizing for What You Know

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I'm tackling the impossible position women face in professional settings—we're either seen as competent and cold or likable but uns...

179: Boundaries: Rules of Engagement

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I'm getting vulnerable about my struggle with boundaries, especially with my kids. I share the belief I’ve been operating under whi...

178: Begin Where You Are: The Truth About Healthy Communication

05 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I challenge everything you think you know about assertive communication - it's not about being aggressive or demanding, but about bei...

177: Beyond Social Expectations Series Intro

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

_*]:min-w-0 !gap-3.5" Welcome to my new summer series where I'm examining the complex reality of communication as a woman and how we can move beyond ...

176: Co(unter) Parenting with a Cover Narcissist

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I dive into the exhausting reality of co-parenting with a covert narcissist, sharing real examples from my own experience that will s...

175: The Shame Spiral that Stole Joy

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this vulnerable episode, I share my recent Mother's Day shame spiral and how cultural expectations left me feeling "wrong" for not experiencing the...

174: How Will They Know: The Words We Aren’t Sharing

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

An unexpected wake-up call provided by a high schooler provided me curiosity around what we aren't saying. In this episode, I explore what keeps us si...

173: Whelm Was Just the Beginning

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you're the one who remembers every birthday, every school form, and every detail of everyone’s life—you might be over-functioning. In this epis...

172: Desperately Seeking Whelm

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I’m asking a simple question today: when was the last time you felt plain, old “whelmed”—not over, not under, just steady? Growing up as lat...

171: Living on the Edge: Stress, Burnout, and Choosing Grace

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed how quickly we snap these days — in traffic, in line, or over something as small as an umbrella at a track meet? In this episode, I...

170: Are You Really in a Rush? Choose Presence

10 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is inspired by an encounter at a grocery store where I almost missed a meaninful connection because of my unconscious "habit of hurry," d...

169: Tame the Noise: Reclaim Emotional Peace

03 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We are being emotionally manipulated by media and algorithms designed to keep us engaged through fear, outrage, and anxiety. I've discovered that my a...

168: Say Goodbye to the Dreams That No Longer Serve You

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I dive deep into the concept of letting go of past dreams that no longer serve us. We explore those persistent inner soundtracks - th...

167: Putting a Voice to Your Unlived Life

20 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I missed last week's episode because I welcomed a foster puppy into our home, which unexpectedly gave me time to sit, read, and reflect on our "unlive...

166: What's Your Relationship With Your UnLived Life

06 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today we’re diving into something deeply personal—our unlived life. It’s not just about the big dreams we’ve abandoned; it’s the potential w...

165: What's Your Relationship With Boundaries

27 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Boundaries are essential for a healthy life, yet they can be challenging to set and enforce. In this episode, I share a personal story about navigatin...

164: What's Your Relationship With Energy

20 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you wearing metaphorical “big red shoes,” pushing yourself into roles and routines that don’t actually serve you? In this episode of Say the...

Bonus: Valentine's Conversation with Andy

14 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this special bonus episode, I sit down with my husband, Andy, for our first-ever podcast interview together—wine in my closet and all! We dive in...

163: Your Relationship With Love and Social Media

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Love and social media—what’s really going on behind those carefully curated posts? In this episode of Say the Things, I dive into the history of p...

162: Your Relationship With Change

06 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I love comfort - there, I said it. But as we move past "Quitters Day" and into the heart of 2025, I'm getting curious about what we actually care enou...

161: Your Relationship With Satisfaction

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Satisfaction, my husband asked me 'what makes me feel satisfied' while in a flurry of frustration, I moved on. But that question got me thinking about...

160: Your Relationship With Your Inner Voice

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For years, I thought my inner critic was just echoes of my dad's voice, but the journey took me deeper into understanding the impact of emotional abus...

159: Your Relationship With Time

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I've been getting quiet lately, really quiet. Setting aside my phone, choosing peace, and even embracing boredom has me thinking deeply about our rela...

158: Understanding the Interpersonal Roles We Play

12 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this final episode of 2024, I explore the fascinating roles we unconsciously play in our relationships and interactions. Drawing from my personal e...

157: Trust Falls: Rebuilding from the Inside Out

05 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, I jump into the raw and vulnerable journey of rebuilding self-trust. I share my personal experiences of how years of narcissis...

156: When Gratitude Doesn't Come Easy

28 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I explore the fascinating world of gratitude, diving into how our genetics, brain chemistry, and personality types influence our abil...

155: Friendship Cancel Culture: When Politics Get Personal

21 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, I’m diving into a topic that hits close to home: how cancel culture and politics are impacting our friendships. From ghosting to passive-...

154: Coping or Character: Unmasking Our True Selves

14 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this vulnerable episode, I dive deep into how a simple conversation about coping mechanisms versus authentic personality led to some major personal...

153: Say the Things Refresh

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I'm making a significant shift in how I show up on this podcast - no more hiding behind research or filtering myself through fear. Af...

152: Is It Manipulation?

31 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, I explored how a simple comment about manipulation during my walk led me to deeply examine what it looks like in our closest relationships. I r...

151: The Scar Effect: How Our Scars Shape Our Daily Interactions

24 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, I explore how our past experiences—our "scars"—influence our daily interactions and relationships, drawing insights from the f...

150: Willful Blindness: When We Choose Not to See

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Exploring the distinction between intentional ignorance and willful blindness, this episode delves into how we often choose to ignore uncomfortable tr...

149: Making Better Decisions: How Our Hidden Traits Affect Our Choices

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I explore the concept of shadow work and how it relates to decision-making, especially in our most important relationships. I share m...

148: Portrait Mode Living: Focusing on What Truly Matters

03 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I process through the concept of living life in "portrait mode" - a photography-inspired approach to focusing on what truly matters. ...

147: The Power of Process: Practical Tips for Building Effective Routines

26 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I revisit the importance of routines and processes in our daily lives. I break down key components of morning, evening, and workday r...

146: Stop Making Life Harder Than it Needs to Be Part 4

19 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I wrap up our series on ways we make our lives more challenging than necessary. I explore several topics including letting go of cont...

145: Stop Making Life Harder Than It Needs to Be Part 3

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode, I'm diving into three more sneaky ways we make life harder for ourselves: negativity bias, all-or-nothing thinking, and not ad...

144: Stop Making Life Harder Than It Needs to Be Part 2

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss three more habits that can make our lives more difficult: recognizing burnout, prioritizing self-care, and accepting our fl...

143: Habits That Complicate Our Lives: Part 1

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we kick off a new series exploring habits that complicate our lives. I dive into four common behaviors: chasing perfection, people-pleasing, co...

142: Four Year Anniversary: Reflection On My Father's Lasting Imprint

22 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The 4 -year anniversary of this podcast coincides with the 15-year anniversary of my dad's passing, I find myself reflecting on the profound impact he...

141: Life is an Unexpected Journey: What are You Choosing?

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I reflect on how my life has unfolded in the last four years, and how I never could have predicted the challenges and growth I've exp...

140: The Art of Receiving and Why We Resist

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, I explore the challenge of receiving love, especially for those who identify as givers. I delve into why we often resist receiving...

139: The Art of Disagreement: Turning Conflict into Growth

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of our summer series on life lessons, I dive into the topic of conflict. Drawing from Mark Twain's wisdom, I explore why healthy confl...

138: Storytelling vs. Gossip: Navigating Personal Narratives in a World of Whispers

18 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I explored the distinction between sharing personal stories and gossiping, inspired by Anne Lamott's quote about owning our stories. ...

137: Promises vs. Performance: Decoding Behavior Patterns and Personality Types

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I dive into the age-old adage "actions speak louder than words" and how it applies to our relationships and personal growth. I explor...

136: The Flags They're Waving: Decoding Red, Yellow & Green Flags

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss the importance of recognizing red, yellow, and green flags in relationships and friendships. I break down what these differ...

135: Thoughts on Social Media Sharing

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss the tendency to complain or make petty comments on social media platforms, rather than collaborating or bringing value. I q...

134: Simple Steps for Getting Along

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss ways we can all get along better, like assuming positive intent from others, being mindful of how social media makes me fee...

133: What Are You Pretending Not to Know?: The Things We Don't Say

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today we consider how our perceptions of loved ones can change when the way we feel toward them changes, leading to a discussion about recognizing unr...

132: The Dance of Life Balance: Allowing Ebb, Flow and Constant Recalibration

06 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we wrap up the series on work-life balance/cohesion by using the analogy of a yoga dancer's pose. Just as finding balance in the pose requires ...

131: Finding Your Balance: Embracing Global Wisdom for Work-Life Cohesion

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode explores cultural concepts from Japan, Norway, Denmark, and Finland that offer new perspectives on achieving work-life harmony or "c...

130: The Myth of Perfect Balance: 7 Strategies for Harmonizing Work and Life

23 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode explores the concept of "work-life balance" or what I prefer to call "work-life cohesion." It starts by questioning if true balance ...

129: "Do You Have 8 Minutes?": A Simple Way to Ask for Support from Friends

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode discusses the importance of having a coded way to reach out to close friends when going through struggles or needing support, without hav...

128: Celebrating Her: A Mother's Day Reminder for Women to Nourish Mind, Body, and Soul

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The podcast episode celebrates Mother's Day by focusing on the importance of self-care for women, whether they are mothers or not. It starts with a po...

127: Navigating Disappointment: Strategies for Resilience and Growth

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The podcast concludes the series on disappointment in relationships by exploring the remaining three areas where disappointment can lodge itself - com...

126: The Disappointment Dilemma: Navigating Unmet Expectations and Broken Communication

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode discusses the role of unmet expectations and communication breakdowns in causing disappointments in relationships. It highlights the impo...

125: Disappointment Got You Down? You're Not Alone

18 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, I'm discussing the universal experience of disappointment. I kicked things off with a quote about weathering life's storms, then d...

124: Communication Fatigue: Escape the Exhaustion

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This podcast explores communication fatigue, also known as information overload, which is a state of mental exhaustion that diminishes our ability to ...

123: When Breezy Banter Isn’t Enough: Let Vanilla Ice Be The Way

04 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This podcast discusses implementing focused communication tactics when you have a specific goal or issue to address. I walk through steps like identif...

122: Questions to Quiet the Overthinking Mind

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This podcast continues the discussion on overthinking and introduces using targeted questions to change engrained thought patterns. I suggest asking i...

121: Over Overthinking: The Effects in Communication

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Learn how overthinking sabotages communication and relationships plus tips to be thoughtfully present.

120: Preparing Our Kids for Real Life

14 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do we tell our kids the unpleasant realities of life? Or do we protect them by glossing over hard topics? Join me as I share my experiences imparting ...

119: Hide Behind the Lie? Authenticity matters

07 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this podcast, I discuss an Instagram post of a teen's "white lies" t-shirt which leads me to question why we hide behind untruths rather than shari...

118: Crocodiles in Conversation: Cultivating Trust

29 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This podcast discusses the characteristics of trustworthy people, like authenticity, consistency, integrity, humility, compassion, and resourcefulness...

117: Don’t Take It Personally: Growth Mindset Over Defensiveness

22 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I share tactics for taking things less personally when criticized. I discuss a few tactics like releasing control of others’ opinio...