Send Me To Sleep | Honesty
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What does Andrew introduce about honesty and why does he think it matters?
Hello, it's your host Andrew here. If you're enjoying Send Me To Sleep so far and you'd like to help support the show, the best way to do that is Send Me To Sleep Premium. Over there you'll get ad-free episodes as well as access to all of our bonus episodes. You can find a link to a 7-day free trial in the description notes. Thanks so much for listening and here's just a few ads before the show begins. It's something that's been on my mind, I think, for a long time. It's, uh... been in my meditations frequently over the last, well, probably something like ten years because I think honesty is one of the most valuable virtues one can possess and not just something that one should enact in order to be fair and just to others, but in order to be fair to yourself, and also to live a more peaceful and uncomplicated life.
And I suppose that would suggest that I believe, as the idiom goes, that honesty is the best policy. That is to say that one should always be honest in life, but really, I couldn't truly say that I do believe that, at this stage in my life, at least. I think sometimes honesty is can cause complications in things, but this, of course, is only in very specific circumstances. I think overall, I probably would say that honesty is the best policy in most cases, but I suppose it depends upon the intentions with which you are using your honesty, you know, and how honest you truly are being in that honesty, if that makes sense. There is a phrase, and I forget who it is that I should attribute it to, but it is quite profound and something that I often come back to
when I remember it, at least, in helping me guide the way that I use my speech and my honesty. And that phrase is, I can't quite remember exactly what it is, so I will probably butcher this beautiful sentiment, but it is something to the gist of honesty without love is cruelty, and love without honesty is manipulation. And I think that is wholly true. And it also makes a profound point or suggestion that there are different kinds of honesty and that you must be truly, fully aligned and centered in the rest of your virtues, in the rest of your morals, in order to use honesty and to have it be effectual, and to have it indeed always be the best policy. Hello, by the way. My name's Andrew. Thanks for joining me this evening.
How did Andrew’s personal experience with relationships spark his reflection on honesty?
Tonight, I will be talking on honesty. Like I say, it's something that's been in my mind for many years now, and I think it all first started when I was a little bit younger, when I'd just entered my early 20s. And I come to realize that in my life, I wasn't always honest. I wouldn't say that I was a filthy liar or, you know, a compulsive liar of any sort. I wasn't a serial untruther. in any description, but there were very subtle ways that I would withhold the truth. And, for example, it might be in some sort of social situation where I might bend the truth or tell, I suppose, what is known as white lies. To, perhaps, make myself appear to be in a more confident position. To appear as if I might mean more to the person I'm talking to.
And, also at this time, I was telling other kinds of lies, I suppose, that were around. causing problems for me it's hard to describe really what i mean by this but all of which to say i began to probe into myself a little bit it all came to a little bit of a head and i was forced to to analyze my actions and my justifications for this, and soon came to find that in some ways I was not just lying to other people, but also lying to myself, largely. And I don't know if you've ever come to that realization yourself, where, suddenly, you have discovered that you've hidden a truth from yourself, that, in actuality, you have been burying something deep. Perhaps you were afraid of that truth. Often it is fear that makes us hide things from ourselves, that makes us bury our head in the sand and try to ignore certain things and
and it can make us act in a very strange way, you know. And to our friends and family, it is completely obvious that we are in some way delusional, living this sort of existence that is at odds with itself.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What does Andrew introduce about honesty and why does he think it matters?
0:00–4:21
2
How did Andrew’s personal experience with relationships spark his reflection on honesty?
4:21–22:50
3
How did Andrew realize he was being dishonest with himself and what caused that self-deception?
22:50–34:29
4
Why does Andrew argue honesty must be rooted in other virtues like love?
34:29–47:18