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Chapter 1: What humorous anecdotes does Lucy Beaumont share about trapped wind?
Hello, you are listening to and watching, please keep me anonymous, part of the Shag, Married, Annoyed extended universe.
This week's episode, we are joined by Lucy Beaumont, who is a stand-up comedian, incredibly funny. She's on promoting a new tour called Bad at Quiz Shows, Good with Weirdos. And it starts in September. You can get your tickets at lucybeaumont.co.uk. I love Lucy Beaumont.
We had a lovely, lovely chat. We normally go into more of this, but our lunch has just arrived. So enjoy.
Cheers.
Chapter 2: What is the story behind Lucy's Ghost Cat?
Like and subscribe on YouTube. Bye. Are you all right? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Okay, good.
Chapter 3: How does Lucy Beaumont prepare for her upcoming tour?
She's got a bit of wind in her ass that acts like she's just had a diagnosis. I find wind like crippling though sometimes.
I can tell.
Fucking hell, you've only started a benefit gig for her. What we used to do, what I used to do before this podcast, I would eat like a punnet of grapes. Why? Because... So because, I don't know, I would be like, I don't want to eat anything really stodgy and I don't want to eat, because I get really bloated. I think I've got IBS, but I haven't been tested. So I would eat loads of grapes.
Chapter 4: What are Lucy's thoughts on the usefulness of YouTube?
And do you remember by the end of the day, I'd be in agony. I'd literally be sat here on the last interview thinking I'm going to die and it was wind. Because you keep, it can be really painful. When people say they've got wind, I genuinely, I'm like, are you all right? Yeah, yeah, because you know it can, no, it's just a quiche.
It's just a quiche. It's okay. It's okay. Have you got IVF? You were like, are you alright?
Chapter 5: Why do some influencers annoy Lucy Beaumont?
She thought she was on one of them podcasts where we try and make them cry. Are you alright though? That's what this is. Are you alright? A crying podcast. No, she just said she had wind and you took it very, very seriously.
Wind is very serious. Speaking of serious stuff, your cat, you've just started telling me before, your cat brought a rat in. Yeah, cat brought a rat in. Alive or dead?
It was the most awful. I got this cat off Gumtree from Rill. Okay. Right. Sorry, you got a cat off Gumtree.
Chapter 6: What funny listener story is shared in this episode?
Yeah. Is that a thing?
Yeah.
Right. Okay. We haven't got any pets, so I don't even know where you'd get a cat.
Yeah. Don't get one off Gumtree.
Okay.
Gumtree was just for like old wardrobes and that. No. But you can get live animals on Gumtree. Anything you want. Right.
So it's like a no-worse board, isn't it? It's like, does anyone want this? Selling stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Right. I did buy it. It wasn't free. Right. Okay. How much was it, if you don't mind me asking? Not a lot.
Right, okay.
20 quid.
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Chapter 7: What unexpected medical story does a listener share?
Yeah. Not a lot. Right, okay.
Not bad.
So, no, it's fine.
I don't know how much, I know dogs are expensive.
Dogs are a lot.
Dogs are like a couple of grand. Not on Gumtree.
What are you getting though? The bitey ones. Okay. With a light. It's like Iceland for pets. It was like, like battery farmed, I think. It's terrible. I wouldn't ever, and I don't, wouldn't ever conduct, I don't conduct, no, this cat was just a woman, had a cat. Right. She didn't want it. I wouldn't buy, you know, I wouldn't, I don't want to seem like,
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Chapter 8: How does the conversation shift to social media and its impact?
You're not saying people should get them on country?
I'm against those illegal pet farms. Right, good. Good to know that. No, this was just a woman. She had too many kids and she got this cat. I got it. And it's like really needy, like really neat. I suddenly like this cat. Yeah, it's like needy, but a psycho killer as well. It gets rats the same size as it and brings them in. It likes to bring in anything that's the same size as it.
So it brought this... Well, I was on the running machine and then, you know, the bell was going... like that and so I was like what's going on lifted the belt up rat's head stopped yeah so the rat's head was in the belt and then the body so I basically by running had basically pulled the rat apart Yeah, yeah. So, sorry. I did not think this was going there.
Sorry, anyone on the, obviously people are watching this on YouTube. Oh, we started? Oh God, yeah, we started. Oh yeah, so we're still chatting? No, no, no, we started ages ago. It's all right. Well, at least I said I don't agree with Faye. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. There's no, there's just a cold start. Oh no, it's nice, yeah. So, so the cat had brought it in.
I should have told you though. The cat had brought it in and either put it, while you were running it, it put it on, behind the treadmill or it stored it there. So I think what had happened was...
she had a rat in the in the it's in the spare bedroom and but the rat had obviously run underneath the treadmill oh my god because they bring them in live don't they yeah don't they actually there's some it's quite sweet I think yeah they bring them to you as like a present don't they
I know that bit.
So the cat thinks you're its kid. So it brings a completely... You're its kid? Yeah, thinks that you're its kid. So it brings a goosed rat that isn't completely dead. A rat that's like on its last legs. So you can finish it off. So it's teaching you how to do it.
That's what cats are doing. And you did?
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