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Sh**ged Married Annoyed

Please Keep Me Anonymous with Tom Rosenthal

22 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.554 - 5.461 Unknown

Hello, you are listening to and watching, please keep me anonymous, Shagmarianoid.

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5.981 - 7.183 Chris Ramsey

Part of the Shagmarianoid extended universe.

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7.203 - 8.244 Unknown

I'm not saying it every single time.

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8.304 - 10.287 Chris Ramsey

Please, man, it gets funnier with repetition.

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10.327 - 11.549 Unknown

That's how jokes work.

12.29 - 28.992 Chris Ramsey

This week, we have the fantastically funny Tom Rosenthal. Tom is a very good friend of mine from years through stand-up comedy. He's currently on tour. You'll know him from Friday Night Dinner. You'll know him from Plebs. You'll know him from Beating Me on Roast Battle on Comedy Central. I was robbed, but we do talk about that.

Chapter 2: Who is Tom Rosenthal and what projects is he currently involved in?

28.972 - 33.967 Unknown

Oh, did he win? He won. Oh, nice. Okay. I can't remember it. We'll have to go back and watch it.

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34.188 - 47.138 Chris Ramsey

It was a... I'm not going to do that. We had a lovely chat. We had a lovely chat about it. It was lovely to see him again. He taught you all about philosophy. That was fun. Great. Very, very good. You can see Rosie glaze over if you watch that on YouTube.

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Chapter 3: What insights does Tom share about his experience in Comedy Roast Battle?

47.359 - 68.89 Chris Ramsey

He is on a 2026 tour titled Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I Am. Play on the Art of Monkeys album. Tickets tomrosenthal.net. He's playing the Clapham Grand in London on the 14th of May. Again, tickets at tomrosenthal.net. He's a very funny lad. It was a really nice chat. Yeah, I'm over the moon that we've got a chat room again. It was really nice. Yeah, nice. Really good. Enjoy.

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68.91 - 72.453 Chris Ramsey

If you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe and like and all of that jazz.

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Chapter 4: How does Tom explain philosophy to Rosie?

72.473 - 73.334 Chris Ramsey

Big love.

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73.354 - 87.546 Rosie Ramsey

And all that jazz. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle.

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Chapter 5: What are the pros and cons of AI discussed in the episode?

87.566 - 87.886 Rosie Ramsey

Jingle.

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88.026 - 92.83 Unknown

We hope you like the jingle. Jingle.

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93.091 - 111.742 Chris Ramsey

Jingle. You've got a platform. No, no, no. My platform is to take people's minds off all that shit. You're listening to Shag Man, you know it. You'll come to see my stand-up because you don't want to think about all that new stuff and all that bad stuff that's happening. I'm a respite, baby. Well, you do.

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111.802 - 123.64 Tom Rosenthal

Both of you have a very sort of positive impact on people's lives and they want to listen to you while they're doing other things and you've created a beautiful thing. out of an incredible relationship that you clearly share.

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123.66 - 133.6 Unknown

And people don't want that to be interrupted with stories about... I'm actually really glad you said that because Chris was late this morning and I fucking hate being late. It's all a sham, is it?

134.272 - 137.836 Tom Rosenthal

To be fair, you didn't say a word to each other off recording.

138.036 - 145.645 Chris Ramsey

You were glaring. I was about to say we get in separate cars like Penn and Teller, but we don't. We get in the same car and I made a leak and just be the fucking dick about it all morning, I'll be honest with you.

145.665 - 150.47 Unknown

Chris, right, okay. Do you want to go into it? Yeah, let's do it. Right, okay. I'm not talking about anything.

150.49 - 158.86 Chris Ramsey

He's going to be on my side. This is classic. We'll see, we'll see. If he wants to play on my golf simulator when he does Newcastle Stand, he's going to be on my side no matter what you say. Oh, do you play golf as well?

Chapter 6: Why is golf becoming popular among millennials?

391.9 - 407.361 Chris Ramsey

I was watching it once, right? I'm not going to talk about golf all day, but all I want to say is the pressure that these people deal with. There was one, it was, I'm sure it was Tommy Fleetwood or something, right? And he was putting, and it was like a six foot putt. And it was a difference once between coming second and coming fourth if this putt went in. And the difference was $2 million.

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407.381 - 418.213 Chris Ramsey

And he sunk it. But it said, the commentator was like, this is the difference, the $2 million is the difference in the price. That's crazy. I was on the golf course the other day and missed a putt because there was a goose looking at us.

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420.725 - 421.967 Tom Rosenthal

And that cost you how much money?

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422.127 - 429.736 Chris Ramsey

Just one million. It cost the golf course one goose because I snapped his fucking neck. I'm joking. I'm joking. I didn't know goose.

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429.756 - 431.198 Unknown

How do they make so much money?

431.238 - 434.602 Chris Ramsey

So much. Where's the money coming from? Sponsorships, everything. Crazy.

434.622 - 443.313 Unknown

Because footballers is like the, obviously the football ground. When everyone complains about how much footballers make, they make far too much. I'm like, how much was your season ticket?

443.894 - 445.416 Chris Ramsey

I don't think they make enough.

Chapter 7: What personal experiences does Tom share about his knees and sports?

445.396 - 459.485 Chris Ramsey

I don't think when people say to me and taxi drivers hate it when I say this when the taxi drivers whinge about how much football players are on I hit back with I don't think they're on enough And they say, why? And I say, because I don't like football, but you're talking to me about it now. It's so big, I can't escape it.

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459.505 - 467.735 Unknown

And not just that, there's not many jobs where... That money needs to go somewhere. There's not many jobs where you go to work every day and you just get called a fucking wanker. Like, it's pretty intense, isn't it?

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467.755 - 471.68 Chris Ramsey

I mean, I do, but it's you that says it, so it's fine.

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471.7 - 480.15 Tom Rosenthal

I mean, my father was obviously a sports broadcaster, so I've kind of benefited from this as well, so I can't really have a go at this. All that money sort of put me through private school, you know what I mean?

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480.17 - 480.33

LAUGHTER

481.373 - 484.218 Tom Rosenthal

Thank you, footballers. Yeah, footballers. Well done, footballers.

486.061 - 498.552 Chris Ramsey

Because you talk about this. You're on tour at the minute. You talk about this in your stand-up. First of all, your tour title, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I Am, is a play on Artie Monkeys. Whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not. Yes. I was personally annoyed about that album. Go on.

498.733 - 518.229 Chris Ramsey

Because me and my mate got into, well, my mate, Adam, got me into Art of Monkeys early on, like MySpace Music, Art of Monkeys. He made a mixtape, like a CD, and gave it to everyone at work when I worked at the Stadium of Light. And we had all of the fucking hits, all of their first like big album tracks. And we all just passed around.

518.249 - 533.878 Chris Ramsey

We're like these guys, we were asking for them in bars and no one knew who they were. We went, I went and saw them for two pound in Newcastle. My goodness. Two pound to say the honest. And then they came, then they brought that album out and we were so excited about what the album was going to be called. And they came up with whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not.

Chapter 8: How does Tom's stand-up show relate to the Arctic Monkeys?

1270.17 - 1289.869 Tom Rosenthal

Degree in philosophy from King's College. People are getting trapped in psychosis whereby they'll be like, you know, should I kill people? And it's like, yeah, why not? That sounds like a good idea, you know. Yeah, I don't trust it at all. And they go into a weird place where, and if it's their best friend, like you just told everyone, that's kind of a suggestion that they are, you know.

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1289.929 - 1294.313 Tom Rosenthal

Didn't it, Guy? It did tell me to lock the doors and actually threaten you. No.

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1295.913 - 1322.14 Tom Rosenthal

didn't a guy I'm sure a guy was talking about he was getting pretty good at golf and he was talking I don't know if this story is bullshit but it told him to quit his job and become a professional golfer and that's exactly the sort of thing and he's fucked it's a sort of program to sort of validate you to be like yeah that's a great idea how could we do this let's do this and ultimately it validates people who are a bit insane and then they think they could be a PGA professional or what the fuck was that was it a train I think that was a train we're next to a train station

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1322.12 - 1333.775 Tom Rosenthal

That noise happens when I start digging AI out too much. It's everywhere. Tom, we're listening. Wow. That's the cool thing. I really like it at the moment.

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1333.915 - 1349.815 Unknown

I'm personally going to be okay, because the only thing I use it for is to ask if there's a wine. So the other night I was in the hotel, there was a bottle of wine in the fridge. No, there was two little bottles of wine, and I said, which one tastes more like Pinot Grigio? And it told us. And that's all I needed for.

1349.795 - 1356.142 Chris Ramsey

Back in the day, you'd have opened both of them, quaffed it. I know that one now. But now you're just asking on the phone.

1356.162 - 1358.304 Unknown

Now I can ask. I know, yeah, maybe something like that used my brain.

1358.344 - 1361.928 Chris Ramsey

Disgusting. You could have necked two bottles of wine. Not even like it, but just necked it anyway.

1361.948 - 1366.554 Tom Rosenthal

I would say drinking wine's not great for your IQ either, I think. Probably not, yeah.

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