"Laura Linney"
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Is your team winning? Yeah. Wait, but it's Sunday. I thought they play Saturday. It's Sunday. Yeah, they play both in it. This is Liverpool that you're rooting for? Yeah, mate. Did they score a goal yet?
Did they score a goal yet? Oh, hang on a second. We're doing a cold open, but we have a special surprise guest. Michael, do not turn around. Do not turn around. Michael, you're surrounded by a princess.
There's a princess. Do you want to say hi?
Yes. It's a tiny Terry. Tiny Terry. That was a tiny Terry, and this is an all-new... Smartless. All-new Smartless. Sean, I just did this stupid thing to Sean, but it reminded me, before you came on, JB, the other day, I keep finding new ways to embarrass Alessandro. We were at dinner, just the two of us, over there in the Sag Harbor. And you forgot to wear your wig. No, and I... No. How can you forget? The glue is so thick. And you keep it by the key bowl, right? Well, the glue's thick. It's a key bowl. It says six weeks, but let's be honest. After five weeks, it starts to crack. You have to reapply. Yeah, yeah, you're reapplying. But I have like a little caulking gun I can get under there sometimes. I could just do a touch-up in the moment. You know what I mean?
Like if I'm windsurfing. Get a good cock. Get a good cock in there. But right as our server came to the table, I just go, I look up at the server and go, one second. I go, oh, sorry. So to answer your question, it's guess who's back backing it? Shady's back, tell a friend. As if I was going to ask her to ask me the lyrics to that Eminem song. And then I go, sorry, yeah, we're ready to order.
Did the waiter have any idea?
No idea. It would have been lost on me. Waiters don't, first of all, they're not there for entertainment. They're not psyched. They don't want to laugh at your stupid shit.
Haven't you ever been?
No, but you know like a waiter goes like, hey, we're all out of the salmon. You go, all right, we're out of here. The waiter's like, hey, fucko, I've heard that a million times.
Yeah, a million times. I just want to take a fucking... But I've said it a bunch before, so apologies. But I have always kind of loved the idea of being a waiter just for the performative element of it where you have different... Each table is a different stage, different audience, and you've got to figure out who they need you to be in order to get the biggest tip. That would have been my game.
Let's hope your new limited series hits because if it doesn't, you might get a chance to try it out. Wait a minute. Speaking of... Yeah.
Oh, Shani did the nicest thing last night. He came over last night with Scotty and took a look at the first two episodes because we're not locked yet. I need eyes on it. I need opinions.
And you're going to shut your mouth for one second because... Will, have you seen the two episodes, the first two episodes? Well, no, I'm not there with you. No, I didn't know if you could send it to him. It's so fucking great.
What are you going to say? It's so good. Of course you're going to say it. He doesn't need to go out and really say this. I don't need to.
Yeah.
No, but it's going to be one of those series everybody talks about. Of course it is. You're completely sucked in right away. Who's that? Why is that guy? And you start asking your questions as an audience member, and you know they're going to get answered in the few episodes that follow. But it's so exciting.
When you didn't run after the first episode, I knew I was in good shape because you do like to be in bed at 5.30.
JB, it must feel good. You've got to get a bunch of demographics. You've got the moron demographic covered. They're in. I was really pressing him and Scotty. I was like, you guys sure you understood everything?
He asked me that after.
He asked me that after. You sure you understood everything? I bet it's going to be great. I have no doubt. And JB, I'm going to say this too while we're in this vein. I was thinking about the breadth of stuff that you've done. I was thinking about the last couple of years. I was thinking about a movie that I love that doesn't get enough attention. Air Bud 2? No, no, no. No, Game Night. Game Night.
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