Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Thanks for watching my episode with Anthony DeVito. How great is he? He's very funny, and the story is incredible. Buffalo, New York, February 28th. Tickets are almost sold out.
Chapter 2: What upcoming shows does Dan Soder have planned?
Go buy them right now if you're in the Buffalo area. DanSoder.com. It's going to be a great show. March 6th, I believe. It is March 6th. Boston, we added a 9 o'clock show. Seven o'clock show sold out at the Schubert, so we added a nine o'clock. DanSoder.com. And then Philadelphia, next night, March 7th, almost sold out. I would buy tickets to that show. The lineup is fantastic.
There might be a special guest. I'm just saying, Philly. There's some people I know that are from Philadelphia that might want to come and do some time on the show. You might want to buy a ticket to see a great show with some little extras, little extras on the side. DanSoder.com. Go get your tickets. And then Dallas, Houston, Oklahoma City, Columbus, Ohio, near Cleveland.
It's not Cleveland, but it's near Cleveland. All available now. DanSoder.com for the final leg of the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour, which has been so awesome. Thank you guys for showing up, and we'll see you on these upcoming dates. What's interesting is, and this is a good way to start the podcast, we had Greg Stone, your best friend since middle school? High school? High school, yeah.
You and Greg, freaking frack. I love hanging out with you guys. Yeah. Goes back to our time when we would work the... We were comics up at Mohegan Sun. Salt and Pepper Tour. The Salt and Pepper Tour. Dude, I forgot about the Salt and Pepper Tour. All three of us were Salt and Pepper. This was like 10 years ago. Yeah. We were all starting to get salty.
We were all starting to get gray on the temples, gray on top. And we did what we jokingly called the Salt and Pepper Tour. Yeah.
Part R. One weekend in comics. That's all it was.
Two weekends. I think we did two weekends. We did it twice. But the annual tour was one stop. It was one stop. It was comics and Mohegan Sun. Yeah. And one time you, Greg, and I went out and saw The Rock in Hercules.
Oh, my God, man.
And then we were leaving so upset because of how bad it was that we were like, you might as well have fought Undertaker. Yeah. You might as well give wrestling fans what they wanted. All three of us were so mad leaving The Rock starring as Hercules. And we drove through this tiny town in Connecticut where they had a gaming store. And we were like, fuck it, let's walk around.
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Chapter 3: How did Dan and Anthony DeVito meet and become friends?
Yeah, man. Who had like a Jason mask and was jacked. And then I made the Gator. Gator, Gator, Gator. And we would cut promos on each other. But dude, we would go in between shows. This is at a casino where the comedy club is, but our rooms were upstairs. In between shows, we'd go upstairs and smoke weed and play N64. Yeah. It was the best. It was one of my favorite weekends.
It really was the best, man. The reason I say all that, though, is Greg Stone was on the podcast and told a story about your dad. Yes. And then the episode came out, and then I got a call from Greg, and he went, I fucked up. He went, I fucked up, and I told a story I shouldn't have told.
A lot of the times when that happens, because we bank these episodes, and so they come out later, it's usually not a problem at all. We just pop in and edit it. But this one was out. This one was out in the world. And Greg was like, I fucked up telling the story about Anthony's dad. And people that are dangerous are upset. And we were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. So immediately cut it down.
But we cut the story out, which we'll talk about, because you said it's cool to talk about. Yeah, of course. I think it's interesting that you know people that wouldn't edit that out.
Yeah, well, I think people don't think twice about it. They don't, I think someone like yourself or just anyone who I guess is like has, you know, how many comics do we know that just have an inherent lack of humanity? A lot. Yeah, most, right?
I think this business attracts that. It's mainly that. Because this business attracts people that can pretend to be human and in reality you go, that was a fake out. That was a total fake out. There's people that have done stuff like years into the business where I go, Oh, they're a piece of shit. Oh, man.
That's why there's... I would say, like, musicians are the least surprising when they're dickheads. Comics, it's like, oh, you tricked me. Yes. Because some guys are immediately like, oh, you're a climber. You don't give a shit. But then you see people where they, like... do the entertainment business equivalent of shooting their friend in the leg so the zombie can eat him.
That's what that feels like. Where they go like, we're both running from these zombies. And they go, I'm running from these zombies. You son of a bitch. You shot me. And then as they're eating, they're like.
yeah yeah there are and i've seen it i'll you just stop associating with those people yeah it's weird it's weird when they let that out of the box like a decade in yeah something that's something that i've always really really really admired in tim dylan is that from the beginning he goes i don't give a shit about anything they say We're friends. I'll shoot you if zombies are coming.
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Chapter 4: What is the story behind Anthony's father's past?
I knew it was him, his learning disability. He did call her a batch.
Great. God, if you're going to get picked on, get picked on by a dumb person. It was awesome. Because it's just the rebuttals are...
I love it. So she doesn't, she's like, doesn't realize. So to make an example out of me, she makes me spell the word in front of the whole class. Bitch. Yes. So I do it in the spelling bee cadence. Bitch, B-I-T-C-H, bitch. You know, she sends me to the principal's office. He sends me back to class. Kenny comes up to me and he goes, I'm going to fight you today.
And what he like didn't realize, like when you're tiny and you make up for stature with psychosis.
It is the reason Napoleon dominated Western Europe. They're not saying that because it's like a cool thing to go Napoleonic complex. It's straight up. That's a tiny container filled with pure diesel fuel.
Yeah, and you have to make up for just reach with just intensity. Just I'll die before you win.
I had a friend. His last name. My buddy, Kerry. Already a dude with a lady name. Gets picked on. Yeah, sure. Tough as hell. Short king. There was a older, scary motherfucker, and like a senior when we were sophomores, and he was like threatening Kerry. And Kerry was, and he hit this level where everyone in our group was like, you don't fucking care.
Because he was like, he said this in the weight room in front of like, we're sophomores, or freshmen or sophomores. This guy's older. And he goes, if you hit me, you better fucking knock me out because I'll keep coming after you. And everyone was like, yeah. Everyone said that, and they were like, and the guy he was talking to was legitimately terrifying.
So you were like, oh, he'll fucking kick the shit out of you. Yeah, because that's all you have. Yeah. It's the reason that giant guys have to be gentle giants. Right. You just have to adjust for it. It's like when you meet a guy who's 6'8", 500 pounds, and he's just like, hello, and like pets you, and you go, this is great. Short guys will fuck your shit up.
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Chapter 5: How did Anthony's mom protect him from his father's criminal background?
Yeah. So, yeah, that makes sense.
Yes, it's like a survival technique.
And what grade is this? Third grade. Oh, buddy. That's biting territory. Oh, biting.
That's biting and scratching. Biting, scratching, clawing, kicking. I'm all wet. It hadn't rained. Stuff like that.
So he says he's going to fight you.
So he says he's going to fight me. I turn around to him based on, you know, size and then empowered by what my mom said. And I said, I'm not going to fight you today. I'm going to fight you for a full calendar year. You gave him a year? I gave him a full year, man. You go, I'll fight you every day for a year. That's what it was.
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Chapter 6: What impact did learning about his father's life have on Anthony?
The vending machine business is fucked up. I'd watch out. That's like, and then I found out in San Francisco, it was like, that was one of their things too. So I think the mob was very real in the eighties and nineties in a way where it could like reach out and touch you in a terrifying way.
Yeah. I mean, they ran the country, you know, it wasn't until, I mean, at least for the five families and I'm saying this, this is anecdotal obviously, but like, um,
know giuliani and like the recall case but before that i mean like they controlled all the labor unions so if you did that at the time they controlled the country they controlled the uh yeah like everything yeah that's why hafa disappeared right because they would control all this and if you didn't do it they would just they had ways of getting you either hurt or eliminated exactly uh listen sometimes wireless stuff like i'll get a bit i used to get a bill from my old provider and be like
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She was just kind of like, you know, if you see him again, you can be friendly, but like that's it. You know, be very aware that if they want to take this further, like no second locations. You know what I mean? That kind of thing.
Don't ever go to a second location with an Italian cousin. Right. I've always heard that. Yeah. Not hippies. That's the 30 Rock joke. Everyone knows that, Lemon. Never go to a second location with a hippie. But you... Did you see him again?
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