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Something You Should Know

How to Make Better Friends & Cleaning Myths That Waste Your Time - SYSK Choice

23 May 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What fascinating abilities do crickets have?

1.921 - 14.42 Mike Carruthers

Today on Something You Should Know, what a cricket can do that you never imagined it could. Then, making it easier to make friends and the one thing every friendship needs.

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14.44 - 29.582 Anna Goldfarb

Every friendship needs an about. So when you're in third grade and you're like, oh, you like Transformers? I like Transformers. That was enough to form a friendship around. But we can still apply that now, today, as we make friends.

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29.765 - 34.772 Mike Carruthers

Also, why kids need to get outside in the daylight a lot more often.

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Chapter 2: Why is making friends harder in adulthood?

35.293 - 39.999 Mike Carruthers

And some things about housework you probably never knew that'll make your life easier.

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40.64 - 55.62 Melissa Pateras

People are still under the impression that you need to use hot water to get your clothes clean. And that just isn't the case because most detergent is formulated to work in cold water. Hot and warm water are the leading cause of fading.

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56.301 - 58.945 Mike Carruthers

All this today on Something You Should Know.

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61.507 - 77.848 Hillary Frank

Hey, it's Hillary Frank from The Longest Shortest Time, an award-winning podcast about parenthood and reproductive health. We talk about things like sex ed, birth control, pregnancy, bodily autonomy, and of course, kids of all ages. But you don't have to be a parent to listen.

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77.888 - 91.345 Hillary Frank

If you like surprising, funny, poignant stories about human relationships and, you know, periods, The Longest Shortest Time is for you. Find us in any podcast app or at LongestShortestTime.com.

93.299 - 108.996 Unknown

something you should know fascinating intel the world's top experts and practical advice you can use in your life today something you should know with mike carruthers hi welcome to something you should know

109.567 - 130.116 Mike Carruthers

As the weather warms up, more and more you will be hearing this sound. One of my favorite sounds. It's the sound of crickets. It's kind of the soundtrack of everyone's summer nights. But did you know that in some parts of the world, people adopt crickets as pets? And they become very attached to them. And here's something even stranger.

130.757 - 143.489 Mike Carruthers

Crickets can be trained and are trained to fight other crickets in some cultures. People actually gamble on cricket fights. But cricket fights are not fights to the death, typically.

Chapter 3: What simple strategies can help build better friendships?

143.989 - 167.839 Mike Carruthers

Crickets are smart enough to know when they're losing and they just give up. In fact, crickets are so smart that they can actually be trained to respond to verbal commands. which has probably got you wondering, well, so how long can a cricket live to learn all this stuff? The average lifespan of a cricket is about three months. And that is something you should know.

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171.481 - 177.932 Mike Carruthers

When it comes to friends and friendship, it seems like it was all a lot easier when we were kids.

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Chapter 4: How does outdoor play benefit children's eyesight?

178.833 - 191.194 Mike Carruthers

As an adult, we worry more about friendships. Do I have enough friends? Are my friends really friends or just acquaintances? Am I a good friend? How do I make better friends or more friends?

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Chapter 5: What common cleaning myths should you stop believing?

191.647 - 211.81 Mike Carruthers

Well, I have just the person to discuss this with. Her name is Anna Goldfarb. She is a friendship journalist who has been reporting for outlets like The New York Times, The Atlantic, Time Magazine, and The Washington Post. She's author of a book called Modern Friendship, How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections. Hi, Anna.

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Chapter 6: Why is using hot water for laundry a misconception?

211.85 - 213.151 Mike Carruthers

Welcome to Something You Should Know.

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213.171 - 216.675 Anna Goldfarb

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

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216.79 - 230.138 Mike Carruthers

So from my observation, and I guess I've read about this as well, but it does seem that people have fewer friends than they used to than, say, 30 years ago, that friendship is kind of on the decline.

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230.679 - 233.785 Anna Goldfarb

Oh, 100%. That is true. That is a thing that is happening.

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234.146 - 235.609 Mike Carruthers

And why is that, do you think?

236.163 - 243.254 Anna Goldfarb

We now live in a hyper fluid society. And what that means is that we move around more.

Chapter 7: How can you clean your home more effectively?

243.755 - 264.887 Anna Goldfarb

We stay at jobs for a shorter time. We take more jobs and they're more temporary. Parents are spending way more time with their kids than previous generations. People travel more for work. And all of this chips away at our friendships. We just live in a more challenging time. It's more challenging to keep our friendships.

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265.525 - 289.491 Mike Carruthers

It's interesting, you know, there's a lot in the media and there's a lot of books and podcasts that talk about how important friendship is. And I think people have a sense of that, that friends are important. And yet, it's also one of the easiest things to put off, I'm too busy, kick it to the bottom of the list. Because, well, because why?

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290.045 - 313.444 Anna Goldfarb

You know, friendships are voluntary. And a lot of our obligations aren't as voluntary. We need our job. We have a family. We have these obligations. And so people don't put a lot of time or effort into their friendships. Also, I think because they think friendships should be easier. I think when they were younger, friendships were easy because our lives... were more simple.

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313.664 - 328.708 Anna Goldfarb

Our problems were more simple. So they might be expecting friendships to feel really easy like they were when you had nowhere to be and endless free time. I mean, friendships are easy when you don't have much of life demanding too much from you.

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328.891 - 349.684 Mike Carruthers

There's also that thing that when you're a kid and you're in school, everybody's a potential friend and there aren't a lot of barriers between it. But but in work and other things, well, you don't want to be too friendly with your coworkers. And, you know, there's these rules that kind of get in the way that make you think, well, maybe not. And screw that. And.

350.052 - 365.074 Anna Goldfarb

Yeah, and there's heartbreak and there's heartache of you having some confusing friendship breakups in your past. And maybe you're more guarded. Maybe you're not as quick to trust. So actually, trust in our society has plummeted.

365.054 - 387.484 Anna Goldfarb

And like since the 70s, our trust in government institutions and religious institutions in society as a whole and our personal relationships are bound to reflect those attitudes. So, yeah, there's less trust in the air. It is harder to maintain friendships. It's definitely becoming more of a challenge and people are noticing it. They're definitely noticing it.

387.734 - 410.362 Mike Carruthers

There is a perception, whether it's real or not, I think there's a perception people have that friendship is hard, and one of the primary reasons it's hard is I don't have the opportunity to meet people I don't know what situations I need to be in to meet the people who would be my friends. Because when you're a kid, everybody is a potential friend.

410.522 - 421.858 Mike Carruthers

And kids have no trouble when they're little to say, hi, I'm Joey. Want to be my friend? But if you do that and you're 35, people will call 911.

Chapter 8: What cleaning products do you really need?

614.389 - 619.056 Mike Carruthers

And, and after a while it's like, well, okay, we'll see.

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619.076 - 641.998 Anna Goldfarb

Exactly. Like that's, that's why you feel that way. And we've all felt that we've all made an effort. We made an attempt and it didn't, really go the direction we hoped. And it's like, well, why? Why didn't we hit it off? This person seems nice enough. And it really is that about. Friends are meant to stand beside you and look at the world the same way as you.

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642.038 - 667.356 Anna Goldfarb

You're supposed to marvel at the same things in the world together. And if you're not marveling at anything, it's like, well, what are we doing here? Why are we here? Why what's your deal? Do you have any kids? Do you have any pets? And it's like, I don't know. I got nothing. Why are we here? So that's been a huge adjustment to the way I approach my own friend-making is I need to understand why.

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667.416 - 671.944 Anna Goldfarb

Why am I seeking this person out? And conversely, why are they seeking me out?

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672.706 - 692.702 Mike Carruthers

But again, you have to find these people In the first place, before you ever find out if there is an about over which you can connect with. And I think that is the big problem many people feel is the problem is, I don't know where to go. I don't know where these people are. I don't know who these people are.

693.374 - 721.776 Anna Goldfarb

It really helps to be interested in things that require other people. And my own sister, she was more into like Reiki and crystals and you don't need a lot of people to be into crystals. But then she started running marathons and she has this whole community of runners now. It really blows my mind. Like she's exploded her social life by getting involved in the running community.

722.457 - 727.003 Anna Goldfarb

And that really shows the power of finding interests that require other people.

727.644 - 749.973 Mike Carruthers

We're talking about friendship and how to make friends. My guest is Anna Goldfarb, author of the book, Modern Friendship, How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections. So I really like what you said that every friendship needs an about. I've never really thought of it quite that way before. But what if there isn't a big about? What if I get together?

749.993 - 761.569 Mike Carruthers

I like to get together with somebody just to get together. I mean, there's no big about, but it's fun to talk to and we laugh and have a few jokes. But that's it.

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