Emotional Intelligence in Communication: Tools for Self-Awareness and Confident Speaking
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Why might a lack of self‑awareness be the real barrier to confident communication?
You don't have a communication problem. You have a self awareness problem. And it's showing up every time you open your mouth. Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication. Storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turn communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on a journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Today's guest is Sandy Gerber. Sandy is a communication coach and emotional intelligence trainer. TEDx speaker and entrepreneur who grew her bedroom business startup into one of British Columbia's top one hundred fastest growing companies.
She created the Emotional Magnetism Network, which is now taught in leadership and acad and academic curricula and featured in her twenty-four-time international award-winning book, Emotional Magnetism. Sandy has trained leaders and teams across industries and was ranked number sixteen in the Global Gurus Top Thirty Communication Professionals. Sandy, welcome to speaking with confidence. Thanks, Tim. Excited to be here. I'm looking forward to our conversation. Oh, this it's gonna be a lot of fun. Um Yeah. Let let's just get right into it. You when when we had our original conversation, you said that you looked successful on paper. But your personal life was falling apart. What was the exact moment you realized that
You were a fraud.
Yeah, I did. It was about It was about fifteen years ago, Tim, and I remember that feeling still so raw. I remember thinking, you know, everyone was like, You're so successful, you look at you know, I had the team, the office, the the the sexy clients, all that stuff. I was killing it from nine to five. But in my personal life, I was failing at the most important conversations in my life. And so I felt like a fraud. I felt like I looked successful, but I didn't feel successful. And so that incongruency grew and grew and grew to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something about it. And it's not like you're gonna turn to people and say this isn't working for me. Because they kinda go, Well
You look like everything's working, you know? And it wasn't. So I went on a decade. A journey that took me ten years to just try and figure out what's the key to successful relationships. Because I was successful on paper and with the business, but I had a failed marriage. I was burnt out. I was, you know, I hadn't talked to my friends in weeks. So that was just not satisfactory for me. I wanted what my parents had. You know, they were hand in hand for 52 years of marriage. I wanted that. And so that set me on my path.
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And and I It it's so important for people to understand. that they're not alone in that in that journey because it tons of people feel the exact same way. And understanding that that people who are really good at what they do are in the same boat as you and and so under understanding that It you're number one, you're not alone and it's okay to take a step back and figure things out and and start to to learn and and change your trajectory. Even if people think that you've got it all together. Nobody really knows what's going on before. Beside that facade that we put up. All the time.
Yeah. It's you know, it's like you said off the top, you know, it's it's not that you have a communication problem, it's that you have a self understanding problem. You don't know the conversation you're having with yourself is the conversation you're having with other people.
Yeah.
So if we can just start there, that's where I needed to start, right? I was many of us haven't been trained in formal communication skills training. So we're just kind of winging it, right? We're we're picking up from our families, from our work experiences, what communication should be. And most of us are learning how to communicate by failing at it.
Yeah.
Right? Well, that's how we learn what to do and certainly what not to do.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why might a lack of self‑awareness be the real barrier to confident communication?
0:09–7:12
2
How did Sandy’s “fraud” moment spark a decade‑long quest for authentic relationships?
7:12–14:28
3
What is Emotional Magnetism and how does it shape our choices and interactions?
14:28–24:40
4
How can the EQ Switch help you regulate emotions before responding in high‑stress moments?
24:40–32:46
5
What are the three steps of the EQ breath and why does it calm the nervous system?
32:46–40:29
6
How does the “E” trick improve body language and make you appear more approachable?
40:29–48:46
7
What is the “first and last thought” practice and how does it re‑wire your daily mindset?
48:46–48:47
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Speaking With Confidence
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Unlocking the Four Communication Styles to Lead Any Team With Confidence
Unlocking Powerful Communication in the Age of Virtual Presentations
Talk Like You’re Right, Listen Like You’re Wrong: The Key to True Connection
Overcoming Cultural Barriers to Confident Communication