Have you ever wondered why even your best arguments leave people tuning out or avoiding you entirely? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle the hidden habits that quietly wreck our conversations often without us realizing it. If you’ve ever felt like you keep “winning” at work or in your personal life, but walking away with damaged relationships or unresolved issues, you’re not alone. Today, I’ll help you diagnose exactly what’s going wrong under the surface, so you can start making positive changes. We often assume that because we talk a lot, we’re skilled communicators. But as I share in this episode, talking isn’t the same as communicating and somewhere along the way, we started treating conversations like competition instead of collaboration. Whether it’s the Monday morning meeting, a heated text exchange, or a hasty email you regret sending later, the patterns are the same. I’ll break down my OWN diagnostic framework, WRONG, five habits that sneak into our conversations and leave us disconnected from the very people we most want—or need to reach. This time, it’s just me, Tim Newman, your host and a recovering college professor turned communication coach. I’m passionate about helping you build not just your public speaking skills or storytelling chops, but the soft skills that drive real results in every conversation that counts. Here’s what I cover in this episode: Why “winning” every argument can actually lose you the room and sabotage trust The WRONG framework: five habits that quietly wreck even our most important conversations W: Why “Win at all costs” poisons your effectiveness and relationships R: How “React instead of respond” turns your emotions into your worst enemy (and what biology has to do with it) O: Why believing “Only my opinion matters” is confirmation bias in disguise and locks out new ideas N: The power lost when you “Never ask questions” and how questions turn conversations into connection and discovery G: How “Get even” turns honest disagreements into score-settling and why this is the most damaging habit of all Real-world examples of these habits in action, from the workplace to your personal life The science and research behind why we fall into these traps and what it costs us in productivity and trust A practical weekly challenge to help you recognize and change just one of these self-sabotaging habits If you recognize yourself in a couple (or even all) of these habits, don’t worry that’s exactly where growth begins. Next episode, I’ll share the right way to build civil, effective conversations that genuinely move things forward. For now, tune in and take the first step by naming what’s actually wrong then watch your communication start to change. Don’t forget, you can grab your free ebook on the top 21 challenges for public speakers at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com and register for my upcoming public speaking course as well. Your voice has the power to change the world. Let's make sure you’re using it to connect, not just compete. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.