How Asking Questions Builds True Communication Confidence
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What does true communication confidence look like and why is it not about having all the right answers?
Most people think confidence means having the right answers. Today's guest is going to flip that and show you why the best communicators ask better questions instead. Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication. Storytelling. Public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turning communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on a journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Today's guest is Michael Ashford. Michael is a speaking and leadership communication coach. as well as a longtime marketing executive and a two time TEDx speaker.
He cares deeply about teaching you to communicate in ways school never taught you. So that you might be better able to inspire change. Drive action and overcome conflict. Michael, welcome to speaking with confidence.
Tim, it is wonderful to be here. I'm looking forward to our conversation, my man.
This is gonna be great. A two time TEDx speaker. I've I've had a lot a lot of TEDx speakers on here. Um I've had a couple of uh people who are in charge of their their local TEDx organization. Yeah. Um how did you get your two TEDx talks?
Well, it was a little bit of uh dumb luck and thinking I had a really cool idea that I wanted to share and other people agreeing with it, so Uh when I when I launched my podcast that used to be called The Follow Up in 2020, uh I I just set out on this exploration to figure out how we find common ground and how do we communicate across those differences and disagreements and divides and As I got into it, I I more and more realized There's something here. I've uncovered something. My journalist background was like there's a story that other people need to hear now. And how the heck do I get that out besides my podcast? And I just said, I know, I'll try it to do a TEDx talk. And lo and behold, there was a brand new event just down the road from me here in Colorado.
Uh TEDx Manitou Springs. It's a tiny little community, mountain community right outside of Colorado. Colorado Springs. They were getting ready to put on their first ever event. And so I reached out to the organizer, Nikki Gates. I reached out to her on LinkedIn. I said, Hey. I've got an idea that I would love to bring to your stage for your first event. If you're still accepting speakers, I'd love to throw my hat in the ring. And she got back to me and she said, Hey, we haven't even asked for speakers yet, but send me your idea. And it just built from there where she she took me in and said, Yeah, this is this is what we want. And I was actually the first speaker at the first ever. event and now I'm the head speaker coach and the curator of that event myself.
So wow. No. Funny how those things work out.
Michael, that that's t that that's an amazing story. I mean, there there's so many learning lessons right there. I mean to to even Before we even get started, right, you you reached out, you didn't sit back and wait. You you had an idea, you developed an idea, and you're talking about something that I I think as a society we need to talk about more, you know, in terms of the whole idea of common ground and finding that common ground and working on that common ground as opposed to focusing on what we disagree on. Um that that's I think we could we could end probably end the podcast right now and and and teach people some lessons on that. But one of the things that that I really like to do is talk about failure first.
Yeah. If our listeners see that the people that are are doing these things have failed. they can accept that failure and move into success so much quicker that it's not just them. It's not just them that that that struggle. Everybody has these struggles. Absolutely. And You started off your college career in engineering. Yes. almost failed out of college. Walk us through that journey, how you went from almost failing out. Two F in engineering, to journalism, to to being as successful as you are.
Oh well thank you for that.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does true communication confidence look like and why is it not about having all the right answers?
0:09–6:19
2
How did Michael Ashford’s TED‑x experience illustrate the power of asking the right questions?
6:19–13:22
3
What lessons did Michael share about failing out of college and using curiosity to change direction?
13:22–19:48
4
Why does the current education system stifle curiosity and how can we fix it?
19:48–26:27
5
How does information overload and social media affect our ability to listen and trust?
26:27–33:26
6
What is the sunk‑cost fallacy in careers and debates, and how can we break free from it?
33:26–39:07
7
How does asking more questions build trust, empathy, and genuine confidence?
39:07–45:13
8
What three practical steps can listeners start using today to become better communicators?
45:13–54:26
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Speaking With Confidence
Transform Stress into Power: Public Speaking Lessons from Top Athletes
Finding Your Voice Before You Feel Ready: Lessons in Confidence and Self-Efficacy
Unlocking the Four Communication Styles to Lead Any Team With Confidence
Unlocking Powerful Communication in the Age of Virtual Presentations
Talk Like You’re Right, Listen Like You’re Wrong: The Key to True Connection
Overcoming Cultural Barriers to Confident Communication