“It’s hard to judge when these guys are progressing the sport that much, in such a short amount of time.” Among the vape stores selling synthetic cannabinoids, packeted magic mushrooms, and aggressively branded T-shirts bearing prophetic slogans like “It’s Not Gonna Lick Itself” and “Slippery When Wet,” alongside racks of hyper-compressed shorts stamped with male first names that claimed ownership of the wearer’s ass, stood CJ Hobgood. I know CJ works in real estate now, but after a week of bumping into him around the pool, I’d let that man house-sit my dog. Speak to any of the staff and the same name kept surfacing: CJ, everyone’s favourite person they met, the most personable, remembered names, stayed warm and curious through the whole thing, just a genuinely nice guy. He was also excellent in the commentary booth. Sharp, articulate, energetic, strangely attentive. At one point he appeared to be analysing the aerodynamic implications of a competitor’s hair bun placement. With an eye for detail like that, we thought it important to get CJ in for a full debrief of a week spent inside the beautiful, naturally exquisite civic labyrinth of Virginia Beach. The boys compare Hughie Vaughan’s stale backflip with Eithan Osborne’s backside-stale-body-varial-late-revert, straight airs versus rotations, Lee Wilson’s influence on modern aerial surfing, whether hyper-technical progression actually means better surfing, the changing of the aerial guard, and the important hypothetical of Nate Fletcher versus Kelly Slater in a 50+ air comp. Oh, and Dane Reynolds brought fellow Ch11 gang member / warehouse employee Jake Kelley to the desk with him.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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