Why do women stay in bad relationships — even when they know, in their heart of hearts, that the situation doesn't suit them? This week I'm joined by Sallyanne Hartnell, a divorce coach who helps women navigate every stage of relationship breakdown — from the first quiet question to coming home to themselves on the other side.We talk about good girl conditioning: the deeply ingrained belief that belonging depends on acting like a girl. Being good. Looking good. Not asking for too much. And what happens when your own values start to whisper that something needs to change — but following that whisper means risking everything you've been trained to protect.What struck me most was how closely this mirrors what I see with diet culture. The same conditioning that keeps women in relationships that don't fit them keeps them trying to fix their bodies — long after the evidence tells them it isn't working.In this episode we cover:- Why women stay in bad relationships — and what good girl conditioning has to do with it- The "quiet questioning" phase: what it means when you lie awake wondering "is this all there is?"- How worthiness and self-trust are built — and why they matter more than willpower- The real cost of staying in situations that no longer serve you- What the journey from quiet questioning to coming home to yourself actually looks like- Why leaving diet culture and leaving a relationship that doesn't fit follow a surprisingly similar path- The one question Sallyanne asks clients that reframes everything: how much of you is it costing you to stay?- Laura McKowen (links below) and her work on leaving behind the things that no longer serve us If you've ever felt like you should be okay with something you're not okay with — in a relationship, in your body, or anywhere else — this episode is for you. ABOUT SALLYANNE HARTNELL:Sallyanne Hartnell is a multi-award-nominated divorce coach, podcaster, and blogger who supports women at every stage of relationship breakdown — from the first quiet questioning through to life on the other side. Her work helps women move from performing for belonging to coming home to themselves.Website: www.reflectcoaching.com.auInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/reflectcoaching/Podcast: Reflect, Reclaim & Liberate: https://reflectreclaimliberatewithsallyannehartnell.buzzsprout.comALSO MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Laura McKowen — author and writer on recovery, belonging, and leaving behind what no longer serves you.Substack: https://lauramckowen.substack.com/ABOUT EMMA WRIGHT:Emma Wright is a certified cognitive behavioural coach and Intuitive Eating coach, author of Body Confident, and host of the Talking with Emma podcast. She helps high-achieving, resourceful women stop fighting their bodies and start living the way they want to.Subscribe to Wait, What? — Emma's free Sunday newsletter: https://emmawright.co.nz/waitwhat/Work with Emma: https://emmawright.co.nz/

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