58: What your money story and your body story have in common with Rachel Davies
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Why do so many women feel like failures when it comes to money?
Hi and welcome to Talking with Emma. Today we have Rachel Davies on the podcast, a financial behavioural expert and therapist who wants to get more women empowered when it comes to money and finances. Today we're talking about where to even start with getting our money sorted. Reading Money, Money, Money, the book that Rachel co-authored with Angela Meyer, light bulbs kept going off for me. In the same way I blamed myself for so many years about how I ate and how I looked, I realized I have been doing exactly the same with money. I have felt so much like a failure over the years. And the whole time I realized I've been trying to find the right system to follow rather than just stopping for a minute and learning first, how can I trust myself with money?
So Rachel is going to talk to us about where to start. How do we even start with this? Which, as you'll see, is exactly the same place I start with women in my coaching practice when it comes to food and body image. So my name's Emma Wright. I'm a certified behavioral coach. I'm an intuitive eating coach. I have a master's degree based in feminist theory, and I'm the author of the book, Body Confident. And after years of trying to feel better by making myself thinner and controlling what I ate, I decided to put all that behind me and learn to feel good on the inside, regardless of how my body looked on the outside. And that has led to living a much, much fuller life. And I've made it my mission to help capable, go get a woman, live confidently, feel worthy and know they're good enough in their right now body.
Okay, let's get into it. Money is a topic that for most women is truly sensitive, can make us feel incredibly vulnerable and can tap into our sense of failure. And for that fact alone, it's worth having more conversations about it, which is why I'm so happy to have Rachel talk to us today. Welcome, Rachel. Great to have you here. Please introduce yourself to listeners and tell us a bit about why you do this work.
Emma, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. My name's Rachel Davies and I'm a therapist. I'm a bioenergetic therapist in training and a hypnotherapist. So the reason I do this work is that Ang Meyer, my co-writer and I, I'd come back from overseas. I was 49. I didn't have a KiwiSaver. I had been traveling around. I'd worked in the arts for 20 years and I had a dying mother to look after. And Angie and I would try and work out our money stuff. And we were sort of doing it the traditional way, like budgeting, trying to understand investing, calculators, spreadsheets. I don't like any of that stuff. And I'd always feel a bit... hopeless a bit shamed and then hopeless and um ang was doing in her advertising agency double denim she was doing a campaign for super super in australia and she came out back with this fact she said do you know that about a woman are about a third more likely to retire into poverty women retire with 25 percent less in their superannuation than men and
And it just cut me like a knife. I was like, I'm on track for that. I'm 49. I don't even have a KiwiSaver. I've just been doing whatever I liked. which I really believe in, you know, but I'm now on the crunchy end of that. And so I got back down to my, you know, sorted calculator and my budgets and I hit the same wall of like, feels like being told off at school again. But I was a therapist now. I trained as a therapist and I said to Ange, let's do therapy on this.
Yeah.
And in therapy, I don't know if you do this, Emma, but there's a thing where you can, you get a cushion and you say, cushion is food. Talk to the cushion as if it's, or cushion's your mum or cushion's your employer. And you sort of do a conversation. And so I said to Ange, Ange, I'm going to pretend to be money, whatever that means. And you just talk to me as if I'm money. And we had a conversation and it was absolutely mind blowing. And then I'm like, Ange, you be money. I want to have a try. And when I talked to Ange as money, I realized that I treated money like I would not ever treat a person.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why do so many women feel like failures when it comes to money?
0:01–5:57
2
How did Rachel’s own money story reveal the hidden beliefs behind her finances?
5:57–12:10
3
What does the “death by a thousand cuts” look like for women’s retirement wealth?
12:10–20:08
4
How does the patriarchy‑as‑a‑system shape both money and body shame?
20:08–32:41
5
Why is trauma and nervous‑system regulation key to managing money and food?
32:41–43:06
6
How can we move from future‑focused money fantasies to being present now?
43:06–51:32
7
What practical steps can listeners take to start a healthier money relationship?
51:32–55:32
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Talking with Emma: Stop fighting food & weight
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62: Weight-Neutral Health in Midlife with Niki Bezzant
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60: Just Eat The Damn Sausage with Comedian Harriet Moir
59: You Can End Food Noise Without Weight Loss Drugs