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Chapter 1: What themes are introduced in the episode summary?
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
On today's episode of That Was Us, we're diving into Season 5, Episode 14, The Music in the Mirror. As Beth questions her future after the collapse of her dance studio, Kate searches for purpose and confidence, Kevin reflects on the life he's building with Madison, and Toby struggles with feeling lost after losing his job.
Hello, guys.
What's going on? Oh, hello.
We were just saying this episode got us in the beginning. Yeah. Like before the credits even. Before we even got to like the This Is Us. I forgot the name of the show. This Is Us. This Is Us.
Yeah, that was them.
It was. Well, because it reminded you of how many small businesses just could not make it through that pandemic.
Yeah.
It was a massive hit to everything. And all the ingenuity, you saw restaurants coming up with outdoor dining so that folks could continue to come or what have you. But like some people just couldn't make it. And so my TV wife, Beth, After like finding this dream and sort of like pouring her all into it and opening up the studio. Yeah.
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Chapter 2: How does Beth's dance studio story reflect the impact of the pandemic?
You know what I'm saying? Took it away from her.
Yeah. I feel like our audience felt that way too. Yeah. Everybody can have whatever opinion they want about anybody in the show, but Beth? Yeah.
We're coming for you.
Like never. Never faltered.
All good things for this woman, please.
Only good things.
And a half something bad. Oh, it was heartbreaking. Yeah. But then I want this episode and these last two in particular leading into, because the finale is 16, right? We only did 16. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we have one more. So we have one more episode. I can't believe that. This is 14, then we'll do 15.
What I am sort of struck by in this episode, or this run, is it feels very Empire Strikes Back-ish, which means, let me clarify, things don't always work out the way that you want them to. Right. Like, I think our show is overwhelmingly positive with regards to you put one foot in front of the other, and even when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade or what have you.
And I think that stays true through this whole period. But things don't go according to plan. You know what I'm saying? There's a certain feeling of like, as I'm watching it, because I know what's about to happen, and I see the foreshadowing of things, and I see people speaking into each other and trying to say like, everything's going to work out. Everything's going to work out.
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Chapter 3: What emotional connections do the hosts share about their personal experiences?
Yeah, because that's what you've always done.
And then at a certain point, you're like, wait a minute. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. I don't, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. My body already is telling me. Body was hurting. Yeah. Yeah. Like my, my, I would get, I would get partial dislocations in my shoulder in my sleep.
In your sleep.
Because my joint was so stretched out from, you know, years and years and years of this motion, you know, the service motion that I'd wake up and my shoulder would be dislocated. Oh my God. And I'd be like, no. And I'd have to like, you know, partial, not like a Mel Gibson, you know, slamming it, slamming it. Come on, Murdoch. But yeah, it was like a. It's a crossroad.
I think it's a crossroads for a lot of people, right? At a certain point in their life where it's like, is this for me? Yes. Was this someone else's idea? Sure. And it happens a lot with faith. Yeah. Where I was like, is this for me? Right. Or was I just raised this way? Yeah. And maybe I need to step away for a while and see if I actually like this.
Like just this last trip back to Baton Rouge, someone's like, come play pickleball. And I was like, okay, all right, fine. And I'm like, oh, oh, there it is. There's that.
Did you like it?
I liked it too much, yeah. My knees hated it. I was like, I'm already, I'm still swelling and like all that stuff. But it was like, you know, I walked away from that competitive thing for a long time and it was like, yeah, I guess I enjoyed the competition more than I enjoyed tennis. Okay. You know what I mean? I hear you. But yeah, it's, did you have anything like that?
No.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts discuss the significance of support in relationships?
Sing more. Sing it. Let's say a song response. No, I'm kidding. Go ahead.
I think I just like, I've realized that I have a lot of baggage to unpack from certain relationships in my life. Early on, early in my career, before there really was a career, and people that sort of were naysayers and really like emotionally traumatized me and made me think very little of myself. And then there were echoes of that same thing
a treatment later in life in a relationship and it was like having to unpack both of those traumas that stay with you i went to this energy healer the other day and i know it's crazy i i thought that i was going just to get acupuncture but it ended up it was it was someone that had like like a friend who was like oh you should go see this acupuncturist and i was like oh
okay, I'm not very good at doing things for myself, you know, like self-care. So I will go and keep this acupuncture appointment. And I walked in and there was like crystals and singing bowls. And I was like, okay, not 100% my scene, but I respect it. Like, cool. I felt really good in there. And it ended up that this woman like did some energy work. And sure, she could have known who I was.
I don't think she did. And she certainly wouldn't know about my relationship to music. But she, at a certain point, as she was putting in the acupuncture needles and sort of like touching me, you know, like, you know, a massage and whatnot, she was like, why are you singing? She was like, why no singing? And I just went, like wept. And she was like, oh, your body, your body wants you to so bad.
She's like, I don't know if this is something you do professionally. She's like, but I'm not even talking about that. I mean, I just like around the house to your kids, like, your body is aching, your throat chakra and your creative chakra down there are so gummed up. But like, I can just feel in your body, your voice is like, is trying to come through, really wants to come through.
And I was like, yes, I know exactly what you mean. And so it's like, that's my lot in life of, and I've done a lot of therapy and stuff, but it's like, I think getting to this point, this age thing, being a mom, being at a point in my life at 42 years old where I'm just sort of like, why am I denying that? Why am I denying myself that?
Why am I belittling that side of my life and saying like, oh no, that's always been a hobby. It has, but it's like, it is a very, very much a part of me. But even like with our live show, it was like, I was sick. Like I... And I make these excuses for myself. I live with an artist, with a musician, who his day job is to sing all the time and make music and play and stuff.
And I'm like, oh, I just sporadically dabble and dip my toe in. It's not my day job. So therefore, when I do have to go sing for something, I'm like, ugh. It's like not going to the gym for a long time and just expecting yourself to be in shape. I'm like, oh, I need to not only practice that, but my soul needs it as well in some capacity.
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Chapter 5: What insights does Abby share about her experience with autism?
And I was just like, you could see it.
Yeah, it's like a very protective measure.
Yeah, it was good. Oh, God. Incredibly powerful and wise. Yeah. But to even recognize I might be going through puberty because dad was being nice and I didn't want to be nice back. What are you saying to me, you little Buddha?
Yeah.
How do you know these things? To have that awareness is wild. Yeah.
I appreciate that. He's a good kid. We'll be right back with more That Was Us.
You guys, I was in Austin recently and I had one of these trips where you end up doing way more than you planned. Like you've set a certain amount that you've planned and then you do way more than that. We thought that we were going to spend one afternoon walking around and somehow it turned into like live music, two barbecue stops. Because you can't go to one barbecue spot in Austin.
You have to taste test and compare.
And those are the best trips, truly the ones where you don't overplan every single minute.
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Chapter 6: How does the concept of gestalt thinking relate to Abby's experiences?
A co-host can help manage those reservations. They can communicate with guests and provide on-site support.
So instead of worrying about what's happening back home, you can focus on being present wherever you are.
If you've thought about listing your space on Airbnb, find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Madison finds a dress. It's hard because Kate and Kate and Madison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Madison finds a dress. Kate invites her mom to come to school so she can... There's a part about the Madison thing I just wanted to say. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Her bio. Her mom left her...
family when she was eight years old. And she was raised by her dad. Raised by this dad who was kind of like being raised by nobody, et cetera. So it was the first time that she felt like she was a part of a family. Yeah. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this family, which I think like watching it, I'm like, I'm just like, oh my gosh, this is so crazy.
Like how this is all about to play itself out. You know what I'm saying? So, okay, that was it. Kate invites her mom to come to the school where she works to see her class, sing a Joni Mitchell song. Rebecca is elated at the invitation. So proud of Kate. It's a very, very sweet moment. And, you know. That was Joni Mitchell?
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Chapter 7: What role does music play in Abby's expression of her feelings?
You don't know what you got, Tillis? Mm-hmm. Okay. I know the sample. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the sample. Kate essentially says, you believed in me when I had given up on myself. Yeah. And her mom says, you know, real joy is never gone forever. You just need time to find it again. Like, essentially, that's the message. Just like, yeah, when she gives her hug and calls her my bug.
Like, all of it is just like... Again, it's like, we know where this is going. And this woman knows where it's going. And it's like, yeah, you see in these last, these two episodes and right before like the finale of the season of like just setting up this woman who is very, who's cognizant of,
of where this road is leading and how intentional she wants to be with the people that she loves while she has her faculties, while she has the ability to communicate what she wants to impart on them. And it's like, it just like, it's happening in such an organic fashion. Cause right, like there's these big moments, like this is, she's shopping for a wedding dress. She's about to marry her son.
Like Kate has like finally found herself. She has this like footing in a world that like, it all makes sense now, right? Like she wanted to be a mom. She wanted to find love. And it's like, she's checked those boxes, but like finding her purpose in a world that's always sort of felt murky to her. at this stage in her life where those other things are somewhat settled as well, feels really good.
And as a mom, I imagine the pride you must feel, the joy you must feel at your child being exactly where they were meant to be. Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How do Abby and Christine connect their experiences to the show This Is Us?
So yeah, it's really beautiful. Just to dovetail it with the past. Yes. Because I think they're connected to each other. They are. Yeah, yeah. She's about to go and interview for a job at the same office where you're working.
And there's this idea like, you know, we could be working together and we could take our lunch breaks together and it'd be really, really cool, you know, because, and she, you can still tell that Kate's in this sort of grieving process and Rebecca's saying, you know, we can't grieve forever, sort of, we move forward. And Kate winds up going to get, like, some coffee at a diner. Yeah. Right?
And we're wondering, like, what's she doing at the diner? Mom comes home and is like, my girl said you never actually came to the thing for the interview. And she's like, well, I wound up getting a job at the diner. And she's like, okay. She brought some food back, had, like, fries and everything. And, man, the show deals with this really, really well. Definitely, yes.
Really, really well because it's, like, she's eating and is sort of like coping with something. And you see Rebecca sort of be like, Do I say something or do I just stay here? Yeah. Like, you know, I'm curious for you. Yeah, I was like, is this a good idea?
Yeah. Right. You're an alcoholic and you're getting a job at a bar?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we see the flashback of her being at the bar and having a memory of being in the booth with her dad. And eating fries and- You know what I'm saying? At the diner. Yeah, at the diner. And how joyful it was, yeah. And it's all sort of intertwined. Because then we find out in the present that she worked there for nine years. Now we'd seen her at the diner. In a flashback.
In the past, you know what I'm saying? But we didn't know it was nine. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good moment. It's a good moment. Let's see. Should we go to- We can do Kev. Yeah, let's do Kev and then we'll go to Kate and Toby. Kev goes to the movie. This was great because this was a real bait and switch. I really believed it.
I forgot. Me too. And I was like, oh, wow.
So he watches this movie with Foster, with the director, like on the other end of the aisle. And the movie ends and Kevin's like, And the director's like, I know, it's a masterpiece. It's like my favorite thing I've ever done.
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