"Roombas In The Outfield"

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The Agenda 6 speakers 7 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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G Lane (ACC Host) 0:00
Morning Tony Lowe and morning Matt Heath. G'day guys. Good morning. Got your Dodgers hat on there, Matt. Do you want to give us a quick off the top?
Matt Heath 0:10
Well, the most exciting thing that's happened with the Dodgers lately is Shohei Otani. Is dead? No, he's not dead, thankfully. Very much alive. But, you know, he was on his 299th career home run yesterday. And we're like, I wonder when he's going to hit that. Came out to bat and just immediately smashed it. Just continues to make everyone very, very happy. First ball he faced? First pitch he faced? It was the second pitch he faced. Ah, could have been better then.
G Lane (ACC Host) 0:39
You know what the best piece of baseball footage I've seen this week, and that is the exchange between a pitcher and a batter. I don't know what teams they were, but there was a lot of banter going on. Maybe, fuck you, and the batsman said, nah, fuck you. And then he struck him out, and he goes, fuck off. And the guy goes, fuck you, and he goes... Why don't you go whack off in a car park? Fuck what? And then it all teed off. Was this John Boy Media? Yeah. Yeah, John Boy Media.
Matt Heath 1:07
Just the greatest lip reader of our generation.
G Lane (ACC Host) 1:10
Yeah, it's one of the greats. Fuck off. Yeah, and the guy who, the better, had been charged with jacking off in a car park. Is that a crime? Yeah, well, you can't work off in public.
Matt Heath 1:22
Well, that's a good insult, isn't it? Well, what about, are you able to jack off in a moving car? Like when you're going, you know, driving. You know, road.
G Lane (ACC Host) 1:30
Yeah, it's a road rager.
Matt Heath 1:32
If you're driving from, let's say, Matamata back to Auckland at sort of 11.30 after a gig, what's protocol there? Will there be any other cars around? I mean, I imagine you would have passed a few. You don't want to do it if you're in a Mazda Demio and there's like a van or a truck beside you. Yeah, the truck driver's good to go. Boy, do I have news for you about the car that I used to own at a particular time in my life.
G Lane (ACC Host) 1:57
Because your truck drivers are the ones you've got to worry about. Yeah, because they can do anything up there. Yeah, they've got pie wrappers stuck to the ceiling.
Matt Heath 2:03
The only thing they have to fear is a double-decker bus, really, those guys. Yeah.
Tony Lyall 2:07
And it's always the kids up the top as well as the double-decker. They're like, school holidays, go up the top. Oh, no, that guy's whacking off.
G Lane (ACC Host) 2:13
A double-decker bus fills a truck driver with full of fear. I remember seeing some really interesting stuff as a schoolboy traveling to Auckland quite a lot to play sports and being on the bus. And we used to be fascinated just looking down into what was going on in cars.
Tony Lyall 2:26
My first time ever to Auckland when I was a young 17-year-old driving up to Big Day Out and we pulled onto the motorway and we're like, this is it, we're in Auckland, oh my God. And within about three minutes of driving on the Southern Motorway, I saw Oscar Kightley. And I was like, it's really coming true for me.
Matt Heath 2:42
The superstars are out.
G Lane (ACC Host) 2:43
It's really, the motorway delivers constantly. As a 15-year-old, my world was rocked when we looked over and a guy was getting a blowjob. on the motorway and a bus full of 14 year old boys that sent us into the sub canopy.
Matt Heath 2:59
Wow.
Tony Lyall 3:00
That's a jackpot like I couldn't believe as a 15 year old.
G Lane (ACC Host) 3:03
And we thought that's why immediately everyone said they're moving to Auckland.
Matt Heath 3:07
They must have sorted you out for imagination for the next year at least. It loaded your pen.
G Lane (ACC Host) 3:14
Yeah I mean the story extrapolated quite significantly by the time we got back to school. Of course. They were both naked and there were people in the back going hammer and tongs. It was all sorts.
Matt Heath 3:23
Keep going. Yeah. One of the first times I came to Auckland as a teenager, me and my mates were driving down Mercury Lane. Yeah. And we didn't know anything about Auckland.
G Lane (ACC Host) 3:31
Oh, God.
Matt Heath 3:32
And then a cop pulled us over and said, what are you doing? And we said. Cruising? You know, and it was like. Curb cruising? And he goes, are you looking for trannies? And I was like, trannies?
G Lane (ACC Host) 3:42
We've got radio. We've got a radio.
Matt Heath 3:43
We've already got a radio in the car. We're just trying to find our mate's flat in Grey Lynn, actually.

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