Chapter 1: What happened to Muhammad Rizwan in the BBL?
Holiday Club.
Tell you what, fellas, it was a discussion yesterday that divided the nation, all the listenership already.
Kingston, apparently, is the furthest, is the border of Southland and Otago, which is right at the bottom of the, I don't know who's right or who's wrong in the argument that we were having yesterday, if that helps anyone, but just so we all know, and we're on the same page, Kingston is on the edge of the lake.
Yeah, okay, look, the reason we did mock you about your geographical retardation is... Oh, it's still there, I'm not doubting that. Yeah, you started your story with the fact that you drove down the sides of Lake Wakatipu and then said you now know Southland geography.
Ah, sorry.
You were still in central Otago. Right, okay.
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Chapter 2: How did Bevan Jacobs perform in the Super Smash?
That's beside the point.
We need to move on. We need to move on. Anyway, you're coming in live from your masturbatorium there in Japan, still G-Lane.
Chapter 3: What is Alex Powell's 'Black Caps Wish List' for 2026?
What's going on? What's new? Did you figure out how to sort out your washing yesterday? I know that was a first point of call. No, I didn't actually, but I watched some sumo wrestling. Oh. And the Ukrainians are quite big on sumo wrestling. There's a couple of Ukrainians in the sumo wrestling circuit over here. Right, okay. Big units.
Chapter 4: Who makes the all-time All Blacks 1st XI?
Yeah. Big units. So how does sumo wrestling work? Because it's quite a slow-moving sport, isn't it? It's like running straight from about a metre. It is running straight from a metre. And does a round last about three, four seconds as well? Pretty much. I mean, I think the longest one I saw yesterday was about 10 seconds and the crowd got real amped.
Chapter 5: What feedback did listeners provide in 'Yours Please'?
Oh, yeah. But they banged through them. I bet they did. They banged through them.
Chapter 6: How does the Big Bash League impact players' careers?
But I didn't quite realise the drop from the side because the arena is made of like clay and it's kind of ā It's on a riser, which is about, I reckon, probably at 90 centimetres high. Oh, yeah. And when they dust their big fatty bumbalatties off, they, like, literally land in the first row. Oh, jeez, it's like playing at Old Trafford or something like that.
Yeah, they've got the drainage system running off the side of the field. So how does the points tellies work? Is it just one point per thing? It's just knockout. Oh, is it a knockout-based thing? Yeah, and then you knock out, and then you get to the final boom, shakalaka. It's like King of the Ring. Fucking A. It's like King of the Ring. And then what's the crowd like?
Is it similar to any other sport?
Chapter 7: What are the highlights from the Super Smash this season?
People drinking, people not drinking? Is it a polite? Oh, yeah, still polite. Still polite. Very polite. Everything's polite, mashy in Japan. Still polite. I thought sumo might be... The lizards of Japan, maybe? No.
Chapter 8: What are the implications of the upcoming T20 World Cup?
No, no, quite the opposite. Okay. Quite the opposite. Very traditional. Sophisticated. And quite an old crowd as well. It's quite expensive to go to, too. No, definitely not. It's more the American sports that people go to. So over here in Tokyo, they've got a couple of baseball teams. Obviously, baseball's massive here for a number of reasons.
They've obviously got some pretty big players in the MLB. But one of the local teams here is the Tokyo Swallows.
Excuse me?
The Tokyo Swallows. Now, I'm not 100% sure if you can. Yeah, this is, well, the bird, obviously. Yeah. But still. When they hit a home run, everyone puts an umbrella up and faces it and twirls it.
Yeah.
It's some weird shit, but it's great stuff. Okay. So, right. Okay. Yeah. And also, they've got the beer ladies there who carry the kegs on their back. Yeah. And basically refill your cup every five seconds. Yeah.
As we discussed the beer ladies yesterday on the show, we had a bit of a cul-de-sac of a conversation around you freeing up some space to follow some more golfing influences after, you know, cleaning your slate and sticking to those influences that I think in your words had the best outfits. Yes, and offer something.
Yes.
I don't care if you've got a great swing. I don't care if you've got a wicked swing and you're playing Millbrook, okay? I don't care if you've got the best swing and you're playing Sawgrass. I couldn't give a flying fuck, okay? I don't need to be made to feel inferior. Give me a drinking game. Give me a good outfit. It just so happens that the best outfits are from our female golfers.
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