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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. You're listening to The Archer's Omnibus from BBC Radio 4.
Leonard. Hi, Carol. Sent you to spy on me, has she? Oh, Jill? No, not Jill. Anna. Oh, no, no, no, not at all. A likely tale.
Chapter 2: What is the significance of the lemon drizzle cake?
Er, can I come in? What for? I just wanted a chat. About what? Well, maybe we could discuss it further over a cup of tea? Can't we just discuss it on the doorstep? I brought some of Jill's lemon drizzle, if that's any help. Ah. Well, why on earth didn't you lead with that? Well, this is a treat. Sunday lunch, just you and me. I know.
I feel very slightly guilty leaving the kids, but on the other hand, Mum and Dad are so happy to have them. I'm sure they are. So, come on. How are you doing? Yeah, good, good. I feel pretty good. Excellent. I'm just trying to, you know, relax. I've got a good feeling about this, Kirsty. I know maybe I shouldn't say it. No, no, it's nice. It's lovely. I think it's going to happen.
And I think you're going to be a really fantastic mum. Oh, Helen, thank you. Thank you. I'm trying to be realistic and philosophical and patient and stoic and all these things. But I want this baby. I want it so badly. I know. And what can you do with that? Well, I'm not even religious, but I'm just going to pray. I saw Amber the other day. A Friday, I think it was.
Yeah, we were in the pub, actually. We were both in the toilets. And she... She felt her baby kick for the first time.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it was really... I just found it so moving. She was literally just saying, I don't know if it's the baby moving or not, and then suddenly she just felt this really definite kick. Amazing. I was so close to telling her that I was pregnant, because she was so emotional, you know, and so thrilled. When's her baby due? Oh, I don't know, actually. Autumn, early autumn. Right.
Maybe this baby will set George on the road to... respectability. Well, they're doing this work for the Borchers to show that David's hired them for, and that seems to be going well. I hope their little family works out for them. Who was having the steak and ale pie? Oh, that's me. Thanks, Tracy. Good source of iron. I mean, you know, for anyone. You must be the sea bass then, Helen. I am.
I am the sea bass. Can I get you two anything else? No, thanks. I'm all good. Me too. Thanks, Tracy. Enjoy. Oh, Tracy. Yes? Keep meaning to ask, do you know who that massive SUV belongs to? What massive SUV? The one that's parked on the green all the time. It's going to make getting into our drive a bit of a nightmare for me if it's always there. Sorry, I've no idea, Helen.
Well, if you happen to spot whoever it is and where they live or who they're visiting, I'd be really grateful if you'd let me know.
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Chapter 3: How do the characters discuss the future of the family?
Oh, yes. And you know that phrase, don't shoot the messenger? Yes. Well, go easy on me, won't you? What did Jill say? Well, she'd like you to go and take a look at the laurels. Why? Because she heard that Anna wanted you to think about some respite care. It's all very well Jill telling me to move into the laurels. But she's not telling you to move in. She's asking you to have a look.
It's the same thing. It's really not. And it's not permanent, is it? It's an entirely unnecessary expense and upheaval. But Anna just wants a bit of time to make this place more user-friendly. Well, I'm the user, and I don't feel very friendly. That's not really what it means. Oh, I know what user-friendly means. I'm not an idiot, Leonard. It was a joke. Oh, sorry.
Oh, stop apologising, will you? You're a very apologetic person. Well, I'm not usually, Carol. You just bring it out in me. Touché. Look, the point is that I don't need to move out for an entire week just so my daughter can throw out half my things. Oh. She just wants to make the house a bit safer. Which seems to involve getting rid of my things. She wanted to get rid of this rug.
But I'm very fond of this rug. And I'm very fond of Jill as well. But it's a bit rich for her to send you round here with a lemon drizzle and expect me to do her bidding. I don't think she does actually expect you to do her bidding. Plus, there's the fact that no-one's bundling her off to a care home any time soon. Well, no-one's bundling you either. It's not for the want of trying.
Did you know that the Laurels has had a full refund? I did hear something about that. It looks fantastic. Appearances aren't everything. Christine is so happy there. I am not Christine, Leonard. No, of course you're not. You're your own person. Of course you are, but still... I don't trust those places. Care homes? Yes. But the laurels has excellent standards of care.
I was a volunteer there after my wife died, and the staff are so... Your wife died there? Yeah, but that's not why she died. She was very poorly. I just don't want to move out of my home in order to go and die in a strange environment, Leonard. This is not about dying, Carol. It's about moving out for a week so that someone can come in and fit some grab rails.
Now, why on earth does it take a week to fit some grab rails? Hello? Mum? Is that Anna now? It is. We're in the living room, Anna. Back again? Yes, back again. She just can't stay away. Yeah, that's it. I can't stay away. Hi, Leonard. Hi, Anna. Is that Jill's lemon drizzle?
It is.
So, I haven't told you my big news. We're not twins. No, no. So, what? What is it? Eric proposed to me. You are joking. You're joking! No, I'm not, no. He actually proposed to me. Amazing. I was quite shocked. Did you say yes? No! Of course not. I'm not insane. Fair enough. I just thought for one moment we were going to start planning a last-minute shotgun wedding.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of moving into the Laurels?
Does Kate know yet? That I'm pregnant? Yeah. No. She'll be delighted for you. I know. I mean, I think she will, but she'll also start making me drink some weird tea and do yoga. I mean, yoga is great for pregnancy. I know, but enforced yoga? Yeah, true. I fear she's going to be out of control. Well, you'll have to get Jacob to rein her in, as your baby's uncle. It's kind of his duty.
This is excellent. Leonard made it. But it's Jill's recipe. Jill's passed the baking baton on to me. Fair enough. We've all got to accept our limitations, haven't we? Speak for yourself. Well, I wouldn't dream of speaking for you, Carol. No, no, why would you? You'd just get an earful. Have you heard the way my daughter speaks about me? Have you heard the way my mother speaks about me?
Oh, I'm not getting in the middle of this. You're a wise man. Except he's not, actually. Sorry? Well, the cake you're eating right now is actually an attempt at bribery. Now, that's not quite right. What's she talking about? I am not the cat's mother. No, you're mine. Jill asked me to ask Carol to go and look at the laurels. Did she? Ah. No, it's not ah. It's not ah at all.
Anna, Jill heard you were thinking about respite care for your mum. I was, but it seems there's fat chance of that. Forgive me for wanting to be in charge of my own destiny. But how in charge will you really be if you go and break your hip? Exactly. I'm beginning to feel pincered. Sorry. Did you two plan this? No. Absolutely not.
Mum, we're not trying to pincer you, but I would love it if you would just have a look. Please? You might really like it. Fine, fine, fine. What does that mean? Let's go. Let's go right now. Really? Yes, because that way you'll both stop going on about it. So when can you move into your house? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Sorry, should I not ask? No, I'm just really tired of it.
I just want to be in. Yeah, of course. Got so much going on at the farm, then with moving as well. Yeah, it's a lot. Really need someone to do more hours at the dairy. The irony of us making Clary redundant and now we're expanding. But Tracy's turned out to be brilliant. Yeah? Yeah, so I'd like to offer the hours to her, really. Well, what's stopping you? Susan. Susan?
Yeah, I think she might feel a bit pushed out. But you're not getting rid of her, are you? No, no, of course not, but she might think she's due the extra hours. But she's already got another job and she runs the post office, for goodness sake. Oh, yeah, that's true, but you could say the same about Tracy. How was everything? Oh, lovely, thanks, Tracy. Really good, thank you. Did you want dessert?
Fallon's made this very nice eaten mess. Oh, that sounds great. Tracy, I'm so sorry to talk shop, but how would you feel about doing more hours at the dairy? How many more? Just this minute saying to Kirsty what a natural artisan you are. Really? She was. She really was. So what do you reckon? Would you be interested? I'm hoping to develop a new cheese this year, so that might be quite exciting.
Can I have a think about it? Sure, sure. Of course. We can discuss it when you're next in? Yeah. OK, yeah. And what about dessert? Oh, I'll have some of that eaten mess, please, Tracy. Right you are. Nothing for me, thanks. What? What? Well, I thought she was gonna jump at the offer. I mean, who wouldn't want to be involved in a new cheese? Okay, here we are. Indeed.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of Tom's silence on the care farm project?
Me? Why would he say anything to me? Well, I mentioned the idea of this being a tie-in with some of the things you and Ben are trying to work out at the surgery. And then, you know, you do see him, don't you? You see him around. You live in the same road.
Well, so do you.
Oh, OK. I was just checking. We're both so busy at the moment. Everyone is.
Including Tom, I guess. Yeah. Just ask him again.
Chapter 6: How does Helen feel about Tom's lack of communication?
I'm sure he won't think you're being pushy. I mean, he's Tom Archer. He'll get it. He's pretty pushy himself.
OK.
OK.
Thanks a lot. Oh, sorry.
No, no, no. It's okay.
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Chapter 7: What plans are revealed for a trip to New Road?
Come in, come in. It's just Akram.
Oh, it's just Akram, is it?
You know what I mean. Look, look, I've got to go. Talk to Tom, okay? Just talk to him. You need an answer. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, bye, love. Bye, bye, bye. Oh, sorry, sorry. No, no, no. Sorry I'm interrupting. I could have just gone away again. Oh, no, no. Because we haven't got long. Let's talk. Are you going to tell me where we're going? I can do, but it'll ruin the surprise.
I think I'd rather know. Yeah? Yes, please. We're going to New Road. New Road? To watch the match. You mean to watch Worcestershire play? Of course.
Chapter 8: How do the characters react to changes in their relationships?
Oh, that's great. That's really, really great.
It's only the second eleven, of course. But we'll have lunch and then we'll have a look inside the scorebox.
Honestly? Sound good? Yeah, it does, actually. Thank you, Dad. You're very welcome. Was it, like, expensive? Well, Soph's got a mate who works at the ground, so she got us a discount. OK, that's good. So don't worry about that. Great. Brilliant.
Helen?
Oh, hiya, Cram.
Have you seen Dom?
He's just left to pick up one of the kids from nursery. Apparently, Saren's just vomited all over her lunch. Oh, OK. Sorry, that was probably too much information.
No, it's fine. I can handle it.
Oh.
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