04/08/2026

episode

The Archers 14 min 7 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 month ago

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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

What starts the episode and introduces the Ambridge setting?

Unknown 0:00

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK.

Brian Aldridge 0:31

You're listening to Tuesday's episode of The Archers, from BBC Radio 4.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 0:56

There's dried stuff at the bottom, Grandpa. It won't shift.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 0:59

Try swirling it round.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:01

No, that's not helping. You got a bottle brush?

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:05

Up there, Keira, top shelf.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:06

I'll try that. We want them nice and clean for the cider bottling.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:10

Oh, that we do. I always sterilise them again closer to the time. Thanks for helping me out.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:16

It's fun. And who knows, someone might slip me a fiver at the end of the day.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:21

Well, if you do them well, who knows?

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:24

Don't worry, they'll be sparkling. Got it.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:29

Pass it over. I'll rinse it. You're going to the fate on Sunday.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:33

The fate worse than death.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:34

Who calls it that?

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:35

Henry. I probably will. I'll have to pay, though.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:39

Yeah, Alan's chancing at charging a fiver for tickets. I was going to enter me ferrets in the pet competition, but it turns out you have to pay to enter that and all. It's a complete rip-off. I'm not being charged twice. It's funny watching you wash the bottles.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 1:56

What? To my armpits in soapy water?

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 1:58

No, no. I mean, it's a family tradition. George did it before you, and I'm hoping Poppy will do it after.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:05

Yeah.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 2:06

Seen George this week, have you?

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:08

George may be a pill, but him and me are fine. Grandpa, don't go on.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 2:13

All right, if you say so.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:16

Can I help with the apple harvest too? Then I'll see the whole process through, beginning to end.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 2:21

Apart from the drinking. Well, till you're 16 at least.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:24

Yeah, OK.

How do Keira and Grandpa prepare bottles and talk cider traditions?

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:26

I just think Grundy Cider is a cool thing. I love that we've been making it for years. Decades? Yeah, a proper tradition. Like wassailing in January.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 2:36

Oh, me, I love a wassail.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:38

I've been reading up online. It's pagan, right? Singing to the apple trees, pouring cider over the roots.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 2:44

You have been reading up?

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:46

It's interesting. Some places, they hang up toast in the branches, toast soaked in cider.

2:52

I mean...

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:52

Who thought that up? It's mad.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 2:55

And there's the hullabaloo, banging saucepans together to wake up the spirits.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 2:59

We should do that in our orchard.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 3:01

Oh, we have done. It was grand.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 3:03

Can we do it again, Grandpa? This January?

Neil (Jazza) -- Neil 3:10

Almost ready. What flavour is it? I told you, Malagatali. My favourite.

3:15

I know.

Neil (Jazza) -- Neil 3:15

Out of a tin, though, Jazza always made it fresh. I bet he didn't. Who knows how to make mulligatawny soup? Jazzer does. Maybe he told you it was homemade. You calling him a liar, Neil? No. You calling me a liar? Bert, I haven't got the time or the patience to discuss soup. I've got to get back to work. You only just got here. Look, I have an hour for lunch and it takes a good ten minutes to get in and out of my bio-soup and have a scrub down. Load of nonsense. We take bio-security very seriously at Barrow. Ha. Now, what do you want in your sandwich? Is ham or cheese or both? Corned beef. All gone. Cheese, then. Right. Don't go sneaking in any green stuff. A bit of pickle, though. Thank you for coming back to make me lunch, Neil.

Neil (Jazza) -- Neil 4:02

I'm only grumpy because my feet hurt. My toenails need cutting. You see, they're that long. I'll call the chiropodist. Why bother? You could do it. I'll call the chiropodist, thanks. Well, Jazzer used to do it. I miss Jazzer. Our little chats. He found me a radio station I actually like. Full of proper music. Real specialist stuff. Can't find it now. Well, I'll have a look later. Used to read me the paper at lunchtime too. Kept me up to date with what's going on in the world. Cheered me right up. What's going on in the world? Cheered you up? You know what I mean. Well, soup's ready. Not sure I'm in the mood for mulligatawny.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 4:49

I'm surprised someone your age is into all those old things.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 4:53

Loads of my friends are. Do you know about kissing bows?

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 4:56

Of course. My old dad used to make them and I would help him.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 5:00

Wow.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 5:00

Weaving the willow twigs and dressing them up with mistletoe and ribbons and oranges. Pretty things. You hang one in the doorway, and if someone asks to kiss you, you can't refuse. Every time a couple kiss, you take off a berry. Once they're all gone, no more kissing.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 5:19

Shame.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 5:20

So you had to get in early. I had my first snog under a kissing bed.

Keira (Keira Grundy) -- Helen Archer 5:24

Oh, do tell.

Grandpa (likely Eddie Grundy) -- Unknown 5:25

Oh, too long ago. I don't remember.