The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover the myth of normal with Gabor Mate. Gabor is a renowned physician and author who has dedicated his life to exploring the themes of health, normality, and mental health. With a background in medicine, Gabor challenges existing norms and values, advocating for a world in which our practices reflect the true needs of individuals and society. He has written a number of books, including his best-selling work The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, in which he questions traditional ideas of what is normal and challenges readers to think critically about our assumptions. Modern society is rewarding us for unhealthy behavior and punishing us for healthy behavior, but how did this come to be, how is it affecting you and everyone you care about, and what steps can you take to protect yourself and your loved ones? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the myth of normal? How has culture become toxic to the human condition? Why is being nice harmful to your mental health? Modern culture is destroying parent-child relationships – 15:37 How does modern culture erode a child’s ability to form bonds with their parents and what can you do ensure you have a healthy relationship with your kids? Why do we feel the need to escape reality and pursue virtual relationships and virtual experiences? What is trauma? – 25:11 How do we misuse the word “trauma” and how does it lead us to ignore serious problems in our relationships? What can you do to heal your trauma so it stops harming you and your relationships? Can we use anger to heal? – 35:40 Why is anger important for self-respect and feeling good about yourself and what is the difference between unhealthy and healthy anger? What 5 steps can you take to overcome your limiting beliefs so you can unlock your potential and achieve your dreams? What does it mean to be “normal” in a society where normal behavior seems increasingly harmful to our health and relationships? All the time we spend inside, alone, and on devices is not doing us any favors. But how did this happen? What pushed humans to develop lifestyles that are making us unhappy and unhealthy? It starts with the parents and how we have structured our lives to promote relationships that don’t serve us, discourage healthy expression of our emotions and boundary setting. A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Mate Gabor Mate’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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