The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
01 Apr 2025
Is your spouse sick of your night terrors involving narrow driveways and parallel parking? Does the thought of merging onto a freeway during rush hour make your perineum perspire? We here at The Bald Driving School are here to help. With dozens of days of driving experience, our two instructors will guide you through blinkers, beeps, blind spots, and barefoot driving techniques. The Bald Driving School: if you "Can't" drive, we'll teach you so you "Chaka Khan"! Give your cat the food they deserve! For a limited time only, you can get 35% off Smalls plus an additional 50% off your first order by using our code BALD at https://Smalls.com Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today! Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order* by going to: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BALD10 This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Support a balanced gut microbiome and get your gut going with Ritual’s Synbiotic+! Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Can I complain about health for one second? I know we're supposed to have gratitude. One of my fun little symptoms of my arthritis is just my skin rejects glue, makeup, shaving. The back of my neck where I wear a wig will get a rash. The lids where the glue is. The eyebrows where the glue is. The hairline where the glue is. Anything that rubs. The armpits where the sequins touch.
Well, that's great. Everything gets... Everything the next day is like... Thought that shit was pretty cute, didn't you? Thought that was pretty fucking funny, didn't you, bitch? You know what it gives? You may remove your vigs. Girl. And it's underneath all that nasty stuff underneath.
I'm going to have to become one of those Hollywood starlets that just sits home slugging in a giant goop mask with a head towel on until like once a month when I go to an event. That's what's going to happen. Baby, that's me. Yeah. I've been getting into the under eye things. They don't do nothing. I don't care. I love it. But you feel it.
No, I just... You go to bed with one ice cube on each eyelid. The other day, I was like... What was I doing? I was doing the meditating because it's 20 minutes. So I put on the Korean face mask. Sure. Then I secure it with the gel pads because it was lifting. So I needed to secure it. What do they call it in the morning? TikToks call it like my morning... It's like an unpeel, my morning shred.
Morning shred. Where the girls wake up and take the sticker off here, take the under eyes off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The jaw strap. They're all sticking with the jaw strap on. The headgear. Mary, they all look like they were just in a car accident where they almost died. Where they're like time-lapse recovering from plastic surgery super quick. Yes. But yeah.
But wait, I don't know why I was saying that. We were talking about you putting the little eye patches on trying to feel something. Oh, yeah. I feel like, oh. But those are postage stamps. I don't know what you're doing. You know what they look like? I feel like I'm putting pieces of ginger from sushi. Oh, sure. You know how slices of sliced ginger, that's exactly what they look and feel like.
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