Katya
Appearances
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Isn't she co-hosting Drag Race with RuPaul now? That was mama. That was April Fool's. Oh, I'm sad that that's April Fool's.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Now we might have to go to Australia at some time. No, I know. Remember when we went to the UK and we said that they're dogs?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
the rest because everybody's kind of like giving camp giving like funny giving kind of like a little rough around the edges my name is all of another yeah or they're like my name is piece of shit my name's awesome a different color they all have just these wacky yeah my name is bunghole full of shite my name is a punny saved penny end like they all have like these weird limerick my name is the cage bird sings because of that like whatever whatever but i mean call me ishmael
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Hi, we're here. Hi. This is the hat I told you I was wearing at the Australia Macca's when I said I looked like Jennifer Lopez. I love it. I did know who that model was that you mentioned in the last episode.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Y'all better pour one out.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by HIMS, H-I-M-S, not herses. She done already had HIMS. HIMS is all about sexual health. Listen, if ED is getting you down, I'm not talking about electrical dysfunction in your guest house. I'm talking about erectile dysfunction. And you need HIMS to help you get a little confidence and, you know, other things back up Wink, wink.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh my gosh, two blondes and a brunette.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Michelle's hair is like black, actually. Yeah, with a little gray. My God. I love that gray stripe. I do too. You got to look like her to pull up that gray stripe. Cause it could go very, um, it could go in the wardrobe or very like, um, uh, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's a shame. It's a shame against humanity. And it's a shame against women who actually are beautiful and classy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Nothing of the sort. You know, I watched Australia maybe season one. I watched UK season one, Australia season one, and Canada season one. Okay. I think those are the only internationals I've seen, honestly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I saw Alyssa Edwards, Alyssa McEdwards. And this is after she won Global All-Stars. And I said, congratulations. And she made some joke about like, girl, and it took me how many tries or whatever, you know. And I laughed. And then I introduced her to a friend and she said, hi, I'm Justin. And that really shook me because I was like, you're in drag at the Drag Race Holiday Party thing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And I was like, Justin?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I don't take, I don't, I don't need a lot of accoutrement for sex personally.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
A couple clothespins for the nipples.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Two more for the eyelids. Yeah. Because I tend to fall asleep.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
yeah she was really show-stopping crazy crazy she's never been boring a day in her life nope she has no idea how to do that and thank god i i did some group tours with her back in the day and it was like touring with it was like the weather It was Helen Hunt and Twisters. It was not up and down, but like it affected every space.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I mean, she really is a star and she's so sweet. She's fucking nice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, I returned the rental. Enterprise took the rental back. They repoed it? They repoed it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I'm so fucking stranded. Well, now, so here's- I got my assistant driving me here today. Oh, my God. You got to buy a car now. I know. What am I supposed to do? Lease, lease, lease, lease, lease. Easy, easy. Well, currently, I'm really horny for this 2019 Volkswagen Beetle. It's the last Beetle they made. Beatle? That's so mean.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You know I've hit the gate five times. I can't get a wide car for the driveway.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, the tallest, skinniest car is the G-Wagon, but I think that's too much money. It's too much money, and it's not worth it. I'm honestly... I don't want to be cheap. I cannot imagine... I'm not paying more than $500 a month for a car lease, and I'm not buying a car that's over fucking $50,000.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I'm nervous because I did a YouTube video the other day. So I did a show for a friend of ours. And the show has like an overhead dim light. And I got there in drag and was like, So I'm probably going to look fucking awful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
About Subaru? Honda having an event that I could get a car leased for under $300. That could be huge for me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Toyotathon. Yeah. Could change your life. I got to get it all together, okay? I got to get the good affordable car.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You think I could get to Burbank on a skateboard?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Grabbing people's bumpers? Hell yeah, you could. That's the power of love.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Are you out of your mind? Yes. it's, I know, I know it's crazy. It's, I think honestly the first one, it's like a perfect movie. And also in the second one, Biff, the bad guy is the future. Obviously it's in the future. And Biff, the bad guy is basically playing Donald Trump. It's so, no way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Like blonde and like, you know, tan and super gaudy and like a tower. Love that shit.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
That's right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh, Randall.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Do you feel comfortable breaking the news to everyone here? Do you think that... I mean, did you want to do like a press rollout? A soft launch? I need more information than three colors in the bathroom. Oh, sure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You're acting like you were telling us you were pregnant. You're going to use white, black, and green in the bathroom.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I feel very vulnerable.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
This is a video I never thought I'd be making. I will be doing black, white, and green in the bathroom. Shut the hell up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You guys, you can't see this, but it's not what you think. It's not dental. It's very green. It's very green.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Like the black? See, that's going to be nice.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You got to invest in those gold fixtures or they're going to give cheap boots. I want to do oxidized bronze. It's going to be gorgeous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
So today's episode of Baldwin the Beautiful is brought to you by Naked Wines. And I'm telling you, I go to a lot of functions, right? And I do believe that you should bring a gift. And I also do believe if you have people over, you should have something for them to drink. You guys know I recently went to that party for St.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Patrick's Day and I had a big brown paper bag and I thought I was going to pull out some gorgeous, stunning, bespoke gifts. hand chosen, ethically sourced, stunning wine. And instead, I pulled out a huge room temp handle of vodka and slammed it on the table like an oil drum. And an older woman looked at me like I was a criminal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Listen, if you want to be the most interesting person at the next party you go to, With our partner here at Naked Wines, you can bring the best, most interesting wine from an independent winemaker and have an actual unique story. I mean, don't be that girl. Okay, don't be me, basically. It's 2025. Okay, stop shopping for wine like it's 2005. I would know. I was there shopping for wine.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Naked Wines is a service that directly connects you to the world's finest independent winemakers so you can get award-winning wine delivered straight to your door. I'll also say I don't want to be shallow. Usually the indie wine people have the cool labels with the cool names too. And I love that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I mean, Naked Wines connects winemakers and wine drinkers directly, allowing the vineyard basically spiritually to come to your door with delivery for up to 60% off than you would pay in the store. Plus, if you're in one of those states where the alcohol store is separate from the grocery store, I hate that, right? Eliminate a stop.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
They all have horrible light. I'm not, I'm not just joking on our channel, my channel at this point. Yeah. Like you got to check out. We have the most beautiful lighting. Everybody looks incredible on our channel and you go to other people's channels. And it's some straight guy with a barn light and a flickering light bulb and a candle.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
She says that in hacks. Don't you know about moment on the lips? And then she gets her high and feeds her the French fries.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
When she gets her eyes done. Don't look at this and don't look at this. I like McDonald's. You would think I'm a super fan based on this. Them french fries are good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Burger King, flop, Tina. Flop. I don't like those fries too much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Culver's, I like. They're a little crinkle cut. Who's that? Culver's. Never had that. Oh, I think it might be middle, flyover state only.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
So you hate gays?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's the only thing, it's the only thing conservatives and gays have in common is like, gays, ugh. I know. The chicken, though, that's the, that's the reach across the aisle. Well, drag is tired, gay is tired. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Let me tell you, though. Gay and drag is very tired.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
The label- Right. I did see this lovely standup who was talking about, he was like, oh, I used to live in Portland, and he was saying that, he basically said that gay is when you're attracted to the same sex, and queer is when you're attracted to the same sex, but really annoying about it, which I love. I mean, that's funny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And he was gay, and he was like, and if you're offended by that, it's because you're sitting in the audience, and you're a queer woman who's here with her boyfriend. And this girl in the front was like waving her hand. That is hysterical. And you know, that's fun. That's not to all of you, but that's just some comedian who said that I'm just here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Who was it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
No, Rosie. Rosie O'Donnell. And she, a famous local Ireland person now. She like moved to Ireland. She's Audi.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And she said she came up on stage and they were honoring her at the queerties last year. And she said, I'm going to be honest. She was basically saying young queer people teach me every day. Cause she's like, you guys, I'm a nineties lesbian. She was like, am I, I always have room to learn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
She's like, my kids teach me stuff about me, but that doesn't mean that at your age, that's the other thing too. These gay people who came before you who fought for all the shit for you to even fight about, if they don't use the exact terminology that came out this year, why don't you just give them a little grace? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
When they're on the TikTok and they're saying, telling a trans girl she can't say. Yeah. Maybe she was saying it from a different time in life. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I guess I don't mean... I guess I mean when people are gay and they came before you and they built all the shit for you to fight over anyway, just remind yourself to be patient.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yes, and I bet...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
terminology that they use today she might not be exactly privy to yeah it doesn't mean she doesn't care about it yeah just maybe he's told her or you know decades of saying this yeah she hasn't addressed it you know i don't know also you don't have to call yourself queer just say you're gay you're some gay guy some kind of gay guy you know we're some less we're just gay guys we're white gay guys gay guys i'm just some gay guy just some gay guy you know
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And also I do feel people are usually are harder on women about that shit too. Well, I think it's also, I feel like the gay women can't say anything correctly on the internet.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
But you know, we're middle aged, not even, are you middle aged? When is middle-aged? Well, when do you plan on dying? Because we can calculate the middle. Like three weeks. Okay, then you're not middle-aged.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
yeah it's true i mean it's also not it's also just like where you put them and how you you know well i mean yeah they this show for example had like seven or six concentric um uh rigs of lighting and then they had lighting um in the um in the desk and it was so fascinating so fascinating you have the good light oh my god in queen of the universe we had a a gold rope light at the judge's desk so you would have this also gold under so no double chin so cunty i have to tell you something because you know when we talked about um
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I'm going to get a black toilet. I think that's going to be great. You should get one made and not paint it. What was it? 40 and 60 is middle-aged.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It doesn't matter if you're him or middle-aged, whatever. Now, what kind of things could we get you doing that's more middle-aged? I think you should take a cooking class at the Williams-Sonoma.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Oh, when you go to the Apple store, you have to book an appointment and have them show you how to turn it on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And turn it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you need to ask things like, well, how will I know that people aren't stealing my information?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Also, how do I get on Facebook? We make fun of old people sharing jokes. All I do is fire off TikToks to people. It's all I do. I'm that scene in The Grinch where he's throwing the letters. That's me sending a RuPaul TikTok to someone. You know what I mean? I stopped sending them too because I was like, I don't think she's watching them.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I think you could do, maybe you could start walking around with one of those drips. That's kind of middle-aged. Imagine the drip?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
What was his name? Billy Blanks. Billy Blanks. That motherfucker was fit. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I have such clear pictures of those infomercials. He was deep skin oiled up or sweating or both. Yeah. And absolutely jacked.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And he had all these like your mom's friend behind him. Like, yeah, yeah. Crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. You don't do it to beat someone up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It's exercise. Like Zumba. It's exercise. You go to Zumba to learn how to whoop ass.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You go to Zumba. Self-defense.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Now, what about, oh, you should take a women's self-defense course where you stomp the foot and say-
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I did one of those self-defense courses. They grab you. You step out. You stomp the foot. You hit here. You hit the face. And you the main thing is they want you to scream, scream so bad that you scare them away.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
So you're saying people should run at someone with a gun. No, no, no. If you see someone with a gun half mile away, you start running.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
We should have a safety meeting. This is not a real gun. Oh, you scared me. Oh, my God. I almost shot you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
That's what's scary about America is when other countries, they're like, if I go to America, will I get shot? I'm like, maybe. Yeah. But if you carry a gun, aren't you more likely to get shot?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Well, you remember in Death Proof when Miss Thing is like, you know what happened? They were like, why don't you carry a knife? And she was like... What did she say? They ask her. Remember, they go... Remember that girl, Tracy, if I forget what her name is, the actress, Tracy something... From Rent, yes. She plays the girl with the curls who's the stunt driver.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
And when they're like, why don't you carry a mace? She goes, if I go down to my laundry room in the middle of the night and someone tries to rape me, I don't want to give them a skin rash. Totally. I don't want to sprain their ankle. Honestly, okay. Is it like, if the woman is holding a gun, am I red state? Thank you. I guess I am. I mean, if it's a woman, I'm like, shoot him. Do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Who gave? Oh, Scarlett Johansson was like, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be identified in this moment with you, which I love. I got this new shit from Christina Ricci. You got to know about this. Christina Ricci got through rough times by talking to birds. This is in the wall street journal magazine. And I, first of all, Love her. And birds. And birds.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You know? Fuck off. Fuck off. I don't know. I think I would be scared to have a gun, scared to have a knife. And also, what is it? Am I Crocodile Dundee going to Gelson's with a knife?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
I don't think you conceal the... I think you do conceal the gun. I think you wear the knife like Game of Thrones. And what?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
You pull up your lounge or your saloon girl dress and it's a tiny gun.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
What is The Pit?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
In Wisconsin, we take Bubbler. You got to take Bubbler to the Whipple. by Lord of the Whipple.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
It was a lot, Robin. Can I tell the people what happened with the vape on the plane? Yes. I love that shit. So I tried to fly with it because I feel bad getting where we're going and then basically panhandling to our fans or people we work with about weed. So I've been trying to not beg for marijuana when I go places. Because honestly, it's not safe.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's crazy and I don't want to, you know, maybe I just, you know. So I tried to bring a vape the other day and then I was Googling, do you put it in the carry-on? Do you put it in the checked bag? What do you do? And the internet said, you don't put it in the checked bag. Because they ask you even. They said to carry it on. Yeah. But you're not supposed to fly with marijuana in general.
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Says whom? TSA America. TSA everyone? So I take the little vape pen and I put it in the, I put it in my, I put it in this pocket, hoodie pocket. Okay. And then I get to the airport and we're doing the PS direct. Oh yeah, baby. And I go to put it in my suitcase, but they're watching me and I feel surveilled. So I take mouthwash out of the bag and swish it and spit it out.
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And I act like that's what I was doing.
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So then I get up to the thing and I realized I never even put it in the backpack. So my backpack is going in the thing. Yeah. And you know you can't reach? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just take it and throw it. Throw it into the whole conveyor belt.
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So it's in a bucket going through and I go, well.
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So then. They didn't give a shit, didn't they?
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If we're not flying, we're really going to just... We got one of those Wright Brothers airplanes with the bike, and that's how we're getting to gigs. And if there's a lake, we're going to do that. The paddle. The paddle boat, for sure. Absolutely. I just want us to spend less money.
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When I think about the money I might have saved in my life, that's a really hard thing to think about. Oh, sweetie, sweetie, mama.
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If I've been flying coach this whole time, I think about the money I...
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Why don't you tell them about your Starbucks lifestyle?
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Love that. Okay.
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I understand maybe going outside and being like, what's that all about, Smitty? You know, or whatever. What do you think, Mr. Robin? I don't know. Something very boopy-doop about that. But then they said, do you feel like- Begging them. Begging. That's the part that makes me funny is that she's on all fours. It's very Shakespearean. It's like, why? She's tearing at her own skin. She's, why? How?
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She's Jennifer Love Hewitt in the middle of the street. What are you waiting for? Yes. So then they asked Christina, do you feel like you've gotten answers back? Oh boy, here we go, Jamie. Here we go. She said, I desperately needed shifts in my life and those things happened.
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When we talked about this stuff, when we talk about this stuff, I tend to be a little more pragmatic and use more grounded words because I don't feel super mystical.
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Maybe I'm just focusing, maybe it's just focusing your own mind on what it is that you want and every choice that you make after that gets you closer to the thing you need. So she did come back down.
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But the first half of it, I went... Beg.
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Girl. I immediately thought of when COVID started and Ellen would post those like no makeup crying backyard pictures. And I, you know. So hard not to relate. So hard not to relate. Yeah. Crazy. But that was a great answer where it's like, that's kind of how I feel about prayer, which is I don't really think God is listening, but it is a form of centering your intention and saying what you want.
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Doesn't matter if you love him or capital F-U-C-K-M-E in my P-U-S-S-Y. It doesn't matter if you love him or you take hymns. See? I have to ask you, when's the last time you went to church?
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Fuck off. Was it the time you went in and you were... No.
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Your Savannah accent came out. I'm a big church patronizer.
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Take me to God's country and it's just fat slut with meatball feeding people on stage. It's Bears in Space. Yeah, it's Bears in Space. I think the last time I went was... Church. Oh, I had to witness that murder and I went and went by the name Sister Mary Clarence.
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and remember i taught all those women to sing oh you did such i mean people don't give you a lot of credit for that because a lot of those women were very pitchy before you showed up thank you well first of all i evaded death hello discovered kathy najimy you're welcome thank you kathy hocus pocus who i don't think we've received a thank you card in the mail correct me if i'm wrong not a cheese basket not nothing christ and then um great list bitch obviously i went back to being a vegas headliner well then i had to go teach at that high school
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That movie's so good. So good. I love Whoopi Goldberg. She's amazing. I love that. When I watched, I mean, I always loved Sister Act when I watched The Color Purple on Christmas. I cried so many times with Whoopi Goldberg in that movie.
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Just kidding. I'm just kidding. No. No, it's gut-wrenching. She's such a good actress. And I love in Sister Act, that scene where she gets them to sing for the first time. And I think they sing. I think they sing.
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Oh, Marie. They sing Try That in a Small Town. And then Miss Professor McGonagall, what's her name? Maggie Smith. Maggie Smith comes up and is about to like read her. And then the priest guy comes up and is like, oh my gosh, we haven't had that much energy in this church. Thank you so much. And Miss McCook has to close her mouth and not you, her. Miss Smith. Magdalene Smith. Magdalena Smith.
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She has to like...
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oh that's tacky that's really tacky she's so good murder by death okay the show she is hysterical her line deliveries are just she because i first saw her maybe in hook and in hook she's playing older than she really is i didn't know that like she's playing a they definitely age her more in hook who is she in hook she's wendy grown up oh remember the grandma of the kids of his kids
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It's kind of a weird plot. Like, didn't you used to be in, like, wasn't Wendy your little girlfriend and now she's your grandma? Like, I don't know.
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I didn't know I was dating my grandma. I didn't know I was dating my grandma. That's the Aaron Taylor Johnson story. Hello. Boop. I haven't, I've been saving this to send to you. Have you heard this? Have you heard this judge Judy audio about the ATV? Tell me, tell me. Judge Judy has the girls completely petrified at every moment. Yeah. And I love when they try to fuck with her. Okay.
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So you got to listen to this. This is crazy. Okay.
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Get me the name of the friends. She makes a meal out of that word. Friends.
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Where was the ATV? Gave it to a friend. Do you have their phone number, name and phone number? No. That's too bad. That's too bad. I also love when she have you seen that clip of her she's talking to that guy and he has his mouth open like this oh yeah she's like and she goes she's like doing pantomime theater love that shit I think she might be conservative though
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But sometimes it sucks when it's a season where you really don't love the top, the people who are. It's like a big thing where they're all having a show and you're like, this is all a little safe or it's all a little weird.
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Right? Drag Race to me feels like its own thing. When I was at that Survivor function I told you about, I was with some people who knew Drag Race, so they knew who I was. And I was like, would you guys do reality TV like this? Would you do like this? And they were like, no, I don't know. I was like, I don't think I would either. And I was like, oh, I guess I did.
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But to me, Drag Race is like a talent show. Survivor and shit like that is like. You're a dental hygienist. Why are you here? Yeah.
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These fashion designers are showing their talent. Yes. I think that makes more sense. Yeah. I don't know what motivates people to be like, I want to be on the mole. I'm an elementary school teacher. Like what? Or like Big Brother. That's what I'm saying. Or the Traders Without the Celebrities.
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Michelle said that there's boring, right? She can't listen to music. You can't watch TV. That's why she said they constantly show her putting makeup on. She said, because she would put makeup on, just take it off and put it on again. And like, she had nothing to do. Damn. She took like top five.
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I know.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's very, yeah.
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You must love being friends with me. Love.
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Hacks. Oh, baby. Yes. Ooh, there ain't no other way.
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Yeah.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Keep crying jobless. Keep crying bald jobless.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
I was crying.
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That's so LA. It was so real though.
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It's like A-list.
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Or non-dairy margarine.
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Yeah.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's a big swing.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
It's so good.
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Yeah.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Are you kidding me? It's too many people. I feel trapped.
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It's too specific. Too specific.
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And I just tap her on the shoulder. She turns around the airplane like this. Yeah. I was like, what?
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I'm telling you, baby.
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Yeah.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Survivor. The show.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You play harder.
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Well, I have a yard at my rental.
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Yeah, you're Lebanese. You're Orient.
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A lot of people really love this. You know, sometimes you get to a sit, you know, you're finding yourself in a situation where people don't like it, but then
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Yeah.
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Damn.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Fabulous.
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Do I have an urge to sleep on the floor?
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Or don't go on the woke liberal media's news outlet. You know what I mean?
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Girl, she's got... Don't forget me.
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Every glade. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's not worth it. Bugtinas.
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Wait, are you serious?
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You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
And they're like, who are you?
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It's fierce.
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The hair is throwing me. I feel like I don't know you. Wait, when young boys would do that, but like instead of getting it out of their face, they put it in their face because they do the Justin Bieber.
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It's a short grift.
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What's his name? Anyways.
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That's it.
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Large March Charge. Yes. So I got a contractor. I couldn't demo the deck. They said, no, you can't do that. I was like, well, great.
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It's going to be good.
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I have faith.
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Hell yeah.
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Because I don't know.
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I know. I'm not trying to go in and handle those snakes.
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And I do want to hear it. No, maybe a Kennedy. That's a perfect, that's how Martin Van Buren would have said that. Yeah, there you go. Thank you.
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No, I'm not.
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Sure.
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I'm the mid.
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If you think a GLP-1 might be a good choice, your Row-affiliated provider can help you understand if GLP-1s are right for you and your goals.
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90 Day 9,000 Pound Mom. 90 Day 9,000 Pound Mom.
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Then you shouldn't go to that party.
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You won't be rolling into Coachella in the red.
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St.
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And everybody else is doing- You take off your clothes. You take off everybody else's clothes.
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I know, that was my, the black trans. Annika. She is a black trans woman. Her alter ego on Instagram is Mindra O'Shanahan. She says she's black Irish.
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Did he know about you?
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I don't know.
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2005.
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No, not in fashion.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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He did the backflip off the computer. Not off the computer.
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Yeah.
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Bye.
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Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. And one thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update, and renovation, it becomes a little more your own. So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter.
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Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years, so we know the difference between done and done well. Hire high-quality pros at Angie.com.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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No.
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Cunty.
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Stupid.
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It's crazy.
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Art history.
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Chiara Scuro.
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100% baby. Because it was, there wasn't intro to psych 101. It was literally commonsense.com. Anybody off the street could have been like, that one, that one, that one. Thank you so much. That probably cost about $13,000. Yeah. That's fucking crazy.
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Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, weil du willst, du willst, du wirst in der Fahrt ganz viel sein. living? When I get in the car, I need to be comfortable. Right. You know what I mean? Some of those cars that are, you know, I don't know. Don't get the G-Wagon.
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Mama, if you're in a wig, you're not getting behind the wheel. I'm not driving a drag.
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Oh, ich seh, ich seh, ich seh. Okay. Moonroof.
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Yeah. Shit. I mean, don't get the G-Wagon. That's so douchey. Yeah. Well, should we tell people? To not get the G-Wagon? That we're fucking.
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Und dann ist jemand so... Und ich bin so... Das ist auf Twitter? Verdammt, ich mag das nicht. Ich bin in den Böden des Wassers gegangen, die Leute wegzuholen. Ich sah das auch. Kann ich sagen... Die Familie von indischen Leuten, die einfach weggezogen wurden. Sie standen auf dem Stein, während... Boom.
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Soft launch. Soft launch. I'm gonna soft launch my hard launch. Soft launch. Oh mein Gott, warte. Weißt du, wenn der G-Wagen mit 200.000 oder so anfängt? Ja. Das ist verrückt.
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Warte, ist das Luigi Mangione Sex-Tape-Ding wahr oder falsch? Ich glaube nicht, dass es wahr ist. I spend a little bit of time trying to look for it.
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Oh, no, no, no. I'm not cosigning shooting. I just want to see the man fucking. Right. I separate the shooter from the fucker. You know, it's like the art from the artist. Yeah. I think we do disagree on that one. Nein, ich kann nicht sagen, dass es viele Schützer gibt, die mir sagen, ja. Nein, nicht seit John Wilkes Booth bin ich wirklich heiß für Schützer. Ja.
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Wait, by the way, we gotta see fucking O'Mary. The gay version, John Wilkes Boots. John Wilkes Boots! John Wilkes Boots. I know I gotta see O'Mary, I believe it's gonna be Betty Gilpin now. She is, it's gonna be Titus, it's Betty Gilpin is now, and then Titus Burgess is next. Horny. And I think he's coming up very soon.
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And I'm gonna be in New York, I think, when Cole comes back to do the thing, so that's when I think I'm gonna get it. In April.
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Oh, the Valentines. He looked incredible. That lattice costume, I don't know what, it was incredible. Yeah, she really ate the girls up. Yeah, it was beautiful. She really ate the girls up.
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Well, it was like a heterosexual type thing. Bible thumpers? No, because it's kind of a Bible.
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Und ich habe ein paar Precher gesehen, die verrückte Sachen auf TV machen, wie sie Menschen anfangen, wenn sie runterfallen. Oh ja, Tent-Revival-Schiss. Ja. Das ist das, was ich liebe. Der Dusty-Tent-Akt. Die Schlangen, die Strychnine. Du kennst die Schlangen?
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie schlagen die Fenster der Kirche aus. Es ist so verrückt. Sie haben Exemplare für Kirchen, die Ayahuasca. So können die Leute Ayahuasca machen, diese brasilianischen Kirchen oder was auch immer. Es ist wild. Aber ja, ich meine, eine Megachurch, du solltest es besser auf eine verdammte Show stellen. Ich musste durch Sonntag katholische Massen leiden.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Why do they get it? Because it's a religious organization. We just need to become a religious organization.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Er ist tot. Es ist ein Griff. Ich habe mich eigentlich viel darüber nachgedacht. Das Einzige Gute an Religion ist die Gemeinschaft. Right, you know, like-minded people, you stay connected, you help each other, they do the bake sales, they raise money for the community outreach and all that crap.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
This megachurch, these Joel Osteen motherfuckers, these billionaire pastors who are not helping during floods and shit, Sie müssen verabschiedet werden. Das ist unvergültig.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It's not, I throw a stone into the water and I look the other way. That's my involvement with X. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I shout my little thing into the well and then I close the lid. Because there's nothing else to do. Yeah.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Es ist schrecklich. Nein, es ist nicht. Wachen und schreien ist schrecklich. Eine Möglichkeit zu nehmen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I don't stick my head in the bowl and try to suck it back up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Diese Art von Sachen. Ich glaube, es gab Norovirus, nicht Ernährung, aber das bleibt zu sehen. Danke für die Kommentare auf diese Frage.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nein, die Ärzte in den Kommentaren sagten, es klingt nach Norovirus. Oh. Und es rief durch die Gemeinschaft. Du weißt, welche. Die Gay-Gemeinschaft? Nein, ich bin nur verrückt. Ich weiß es nicht.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Lady Bunny. I saw her live. I went to the dinner theater. So this is the great thing about Lady Bunny shows and some other shows.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich weiß, ich bekomme den Text, wir waren am 2.00 Uhr im Kalender und ich bekomme einen Text, ich habe überlebt. Ich war so, oh Gott, was bedeutet das?
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich hatte das Ball, die Nosferatu-Premiere. Die Leute wollten, dass ich darüber sprechen würde. Es war toll. Das war es. Ich schließe das. Hast du darüber gesprochen? Nein, nein, nein. Die Fans wollten mich fragen, was ich von dem Film gedacht habe. Oh, was denkst du davon? Es war gut. Aber ich denke, dass ich mich daran gefreut habe, dramatisch bei der Premiere zu sein. Natürlich.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Weil sie alle da waren. Es war toll, es war technisch wunderschön, aber ich will es nicht mehr sehen. Also da ist das. Ja. Aber wir müssen über die Oscars reden. Ich weiß, dass das drei Monate später ist. Drei Monate später. Aber du hast die Oscars nicht gesehen?
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It did hit me hard because I don't know this woman. We are not friends. That doesn't ever seem to stop you. Nobody is entitled or owed anything in this world. Certainly not by the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Yes. Aber es war schockierend und ich schrie und dann wurde ich für 20 Minuten deflated. Und dann wurde ich noch wistvoller und wütender für die nächsten, bis jetzt.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I saw it. Funny thing about that movie, though. I heard it's amazing. Yes, however, I heard some very interesting accusations that half of it was filmed non-union. Und nur dadurch, dass der Direktor verhaftet wird, wird er sich dann verabschiedet und dann gibt er den Menschen eine Versicherung.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Also es gab ein bisschen, es könnte ein bisschen kucki-Stuff gewesen sein, weil es ein sehr niedrigwertiges Film war. Und sie hatten keine Intimiditätscoordinator, jada, jada, jada. Also es gab einige Leute, die argumentierten, dass dieser Film nicht sogar für Best Picture aufgenommen werden sollte. Oh, okay. Ich verstehe, was du sagst. Ich habe das nicht gehört. Es könnte nicht wahr sein.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Aber die Person, die ich gelesen habe, der Thread, der ich gelesen habe, sah legit aus. Ich dachte, das wäre interessant, um zu investigieren. Ich möchte es sehen, weil ich Miss Mikey liebe. Sie isst und alles. Ja, es ist cool. Ich liebe die russische Part, weil es eigentlich russische Leute gibt, die eigentlich russisch sprechen. Nicht so eine schreckliche Bengel.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Like one of those old Victorian medicine theaters. You know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
shitty like accent from germany whatever but she's young the thing that happened is that the substance happened sue won right she could have played sue in the substance do you really you know what i mean the poetic irony of it is to what about rodney mcdowell or whatever what's her name margaret quali Rodney McDowell? Ist das nicht die Tochter von Any McDowell?
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nein, nicht Rodney, aber du weißt, was ich meine. Nein, aber was ich sage, ist, dass es tatsächlich so aussah. Die Anjanues erste große Sache. Sie gewinnt einen Oscar. Aber weißt du was? Nein, sie hat gegessen. Und ich will nicht, ich will nicht, um sie zu verkaufen oder sie zu verkaufen, aber wenn sie, wenn Demi gewonnen hätte, denke ich, dass jeder, jeder einzelne Person wäre wie, danke Gott.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Hi, Bunny. I love Bunny. Theater in the round and she's on a revolving thing just eating dinner. That is funny. No, but it's like you go to a drag show. There's like Brandon Voss does like those corny Cupid secret ones or whatever. The show is hot. The people are great. But most importantly, you eat food. So you don't have to go home hungry.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nobody would have been disappointed. Mikey would not have been disappointed. You know what I mean? Fernanda Torres would not have been disappointed, although Brazil would probably put a head out onto me.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
They're both great films. Everybody wins here. But it would have been an opportunity for there to be a meta moment that is actually meaningful. Und mehr wichtig ist, dass es einen Horror-Kick in die Tür geben würde.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie beginnt auf Feuer und schreit auch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich sah sie und sie schlug und ich denke, sie sah jemanden und ich war so, ich konnte es sehen. Sie war enttäuscht. Ja. Und ich denke, dass sie wusste, sie hat den BAFTA verloren. Sie fühlte sich, als würde es kommen. Ich denke, dass sie war wie, oh, fuck, das ist nicht ein sicherer Ding. Und dann denke ich, also war es wirklich, rollen in die Zeremonie.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich meine, das ist wie meine Olympiade oder meine Superbowl. Und ich bin wie, oh Gott, es wird nicht passieren.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Warum ist es deine Olympiade und deine Superbowl, wenn du nicht all diese Filme siehst?
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nein, es ist eine Konflikt. Nun, dieses Jahr hat es gesucht, weil die Hälfte der Filme scheiße waren. Okay, aber wie Brutalist, hast du gehört, dass es eine Intermission gab? Sweetie, I want to talk about Adrian Brody's five record-breaking speech, where he says not one damn thing. He literally shushed the music and said, I'll be brief after four minutes of talking.
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It was the most pretentious, ridiculous... Only a man could ever do this kind of bootnasty speech where nothing was said of substance at all. And I'm like, you are such a piece of shit. I hate you. I hate your guts. Adrian Brody? You hate Adrian Brody? I hate him. I'll go on. I'll say it to that camera. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. But here's the thing, though. Madonna...
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Madonna hat letztendlich gesagt, dass Emilia Perez ihr Lieblingsfilm des Jahres war. Ich habe das gesehen. Mit diesem Kommentar schließe ich die spirituelle Tür auf Emilia Perez. Es wird nie darüber diskutiert.
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Wir werden... Entschuldige, wir werden zu ihr reinkommen. Wenn ich... Naja, es ist vorbei, es ist komplett fertig. Das ist es. Aber nimm eine für Mikey. Nimm eine für Adrian. Because keep it cute. Keep it cute at the, like Merritt Weaver. You know Merritt Weaver, Nurse Jackie? Well, can I say, you and I both hate when they don't have a plan.
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Well, Jessica, yes, Jessica Lange summed it up beautifully. She's like, I keep it brief. I don't thank God. I don't thank, I don't tell my children to go to bed. I don't, I don't proselytize for any purpose. I think the people that I worked for, because anything else is really pretentious.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Where's that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Uncle George, if you're watching this, you molested me. I mean, that happens.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
They feed you and then show you.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I handle shenanigans from best costume designer. People behind the camera. If you're a performer, oh sweetie, and you are nominated, when you hit that stage, you got three plans, all memorized. You got the emotional one, you got the stoic one, you got the very short and sweet one. And you know them all by heart. You're not searching for anything. You're not even looking at a piece of paper.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, there was the burlesque where we got fed during. And that was helpful at times because some of the numbers I did not quite enjoy. And rather than just stare at my phone and be rude, I got to eat my steak Diane.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You're prepared. You're a performer. You can fake cry on a dime. So do it. und geh da raus. Weißt du, was ich meine? Das ist verrückt.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nein, wir können nicht. Du hast darüber gesprochen, ich habe meine Versöhnung gehalten.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Daryl Hannah kam an einem Punkt raus und ich war so, ja, erste Sache aus ihrem Mund, Ukraine. Ich weiß nicht, warum. Ich meine, ich weiß, warum. Ich weiß nicht, warum. Aber es war, es war wie, es ist kein Rallye, aber sowas. Sie war ein Arschloch, Mädchen. Daryl Hannah ist ein Arschloch. Natürlich. Sie ist sehr Arschloch. Daryl Hannah ist ein Arschloch.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Es gibt kein, es gibt kein, ich meine, es gibt kein... Andrea hat mir gesagt, dass sie mal an einer Party sagte, du weißt, manchmal musst du nur deine Hose holen und rennen. Tee. Das ist komplett Tee. Ich habe Buffy the Vampire Slayer wiedergelesen. Ich schaue es immer ein paar Jahre. Wie viele Saisonen sind das? Sieben.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie sind auf Yellowstone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie ist wirklich wütend. Sie ist wütend. Und lass mich dir was sagen. Nicht nur ist sie wütend, sie ist... ...verlustig wütend. Und sie hat Stamina.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Wormholes, whatever.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und auch, ich meine, vielleicht bin ich falsch, ich weiß, dass Schulstürme in diesen Tagen sehr viele sind, aber an dieser Zeit waren sie es nicht. Es war vielleicht nur ein Tag. Yeah, yeah, right.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I can't even listen to you, I would cry.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich mache das, weil du essen wirst. Du wirst getötet.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Also bereite dich bereit für das. Ich bin sorry. Ich glaube, dass du, ich glaube, ich glaube, ich glaube, ich glaube, ich glaube, ich glaube, ich glaube, Damn. Damn.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
That motherfucker. I mean, that motherfucker is... She's a disruptor. And then when... You saw the I drink my grandson pee, right? Yes. That was my... That's kind of like the moon landing for me. Right. That moment was like... That was your moonlight. Yeah. That was like everything before my life and after that. It's cleaved in half.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Zement. Magie. Schmerzen. Ja, ja. Schmerzenball-Torture. Ja. barbed wire I mean it's crazy yeah she had some I mean she talked she sang she danced the house down 90 minutes no break I think she took one little teeny little wiggle break to change it was very impressive I could never have never been able to in will never
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Die Substanz zu nennen, und das wäre die falsche Sache gewesen? Oh, liebe, du solltest dir das glauben. Ich hätte es als Technik genannt. Du hast es gesagt. Gib ihr den Preis.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Das ist das, was fast jedes Jahr passiert. Es gibt immer eine Frau in diesem Club, die nicht gibt, was die anderen Frauen geben. Aber sie gibt alles. Ich weiß nicht, wer du sprichst. Hey, hey, das ist mein Oscar.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Still bald.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You've been watching the news? I... No. I have not. Because... This is maybe not great, but because my life is in shambles, I also... Like, I kind of need some reprieve. Right. Do you know what I mean? Because my home life is very not great right now. I know. So, like... It's like from my... It's crazy that you created your own crack house to live in. No, no, no. You start stripping the walls.
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It's just not like... Things at home are not, like, super comfy. Right. So, I don't want to, like... Es war wie Selbstverzweiflung. Ich weiß nicht. Vielleicht ist das ein schlechter Bürger. Am anderen Tag regnete es und ich konnte nicht in den Hot Tub, also verstehe ich es total.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mama, let me tell you something. So it rained, so I got holes in, I got a condo that is literally just like a ramshackle motherfucking thing. So when it rains, Miss Thing is, she's pumping. My condo leaks too. Where we used to shoot the pod. Let me ask you this. Let me tell you this. What do you think these guys suggested as an interim solution? A tarp as a tent. In the home? Uh-huh.
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Covering the deck. A tarp with a tent. Fixed with what? Uh. Duck tape? Yeah, let's do that. To stucco? Sure. To stucco? I didn't stick, did I? Mary? The whole building came down. Neil deGrasse Tyson doesn't need to tell you that that's not gonna work. Right. Get Bob Vila down here. Ten minutes into the whole thing, I go and check on it. All down. Collapsed. Pools. Pools of... Blood. Yes.
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And I'm like, I'm like, fierce. You know what? That's fierce. Slay.
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Oh mein Gott. Denken Sie, wir sollten die Situation beantworten? Ich denke, Sie müssen die Situation beantworten. Öffnen Sie die Notz-App, Frau. Okay. Ich denke, wir müssen es einfach anrufen. Sagen Sie, was es ist. Ja, unser blaues Hintergrund ist, dass er verurteilt worden ist, von mehreren Behandlungen von Verbrechen, Verbrechen und sexuellem Verbrechen.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Wait, before you do that, I have to reiterate. I really do. For all you drivers out there, if you are number one in line for that green left turn, you better be off your phone. You better be gooned. You better be ready. You better be gooned, because you have one eye on the other lights. Yellow, that's the signal. Du siehst das? Manchmal sind es nur fünf Sekunden.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Du hast zehn Autos, die nach links gehen müssen. Rush-Hour. Du hast eine Verantwortung zu deinen Mitgliedern.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I don't even care about the voting. Just get that green arrow.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You better be on point and alert for your fellow drivers.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
And if you hate the show, you're fucked.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Maybe a Reiki experience kind of thing. Kabbalah spiritual mother vibes.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ja, sie wird es wissen.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Sie hat ein ganzes Nummer-Bild gemacht, du machst das. Oh, hat sie das gemacht? Tricks in the Town.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Nein. Hast du je einen Brock Juric gesehen? Sie gehen unter seine fucking Rippen. Er schreit. Was? Oh yeah, it's wild. Wild shit going on over there.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It sucks. How about this one? Light-handed, not only light-handed, jewelry and nails. Well, there you go. Polen. Cynthia Rebo, schredding you. Mama, basically a granny with fucking rings and acrylics on, doing massage in Poland.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ja. Ich liebe das. Sie hatte eine ziemlich lustige Lüge über mich. Ich denke, sie hätte es ein bisschen besser machen können. Es war, hast du gewusst, dass Kachi jetzt religiös ist? Sie ist ein Kristallmethodist. Das ist ziemlich gut. Das ist ziemlich gut. Das ist ziemlich gut. Und ich denke, dass sie viel gemacht hat. Sie hatte viel Material über mich.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Any CMT, certified massage therapist, should be able to provide a full range of pressure. Sie müssen starke Hände haben. Das ist ihr Job. Ich habe gesagt, ich will wirklich fest sein.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I don't give a shit about the robe. The humidifier and all the tinkly music and stuff. Back a car over me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Put me in the parking lot and drive over me like the Amazon truck.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I'll probably have diarrhea today. I love that. I don't know about alcohol. Listen, I don't want to tell anybody to do nothing, but it's a poison.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Oh yeah, when's the last time you got penetrated? Oh my gosh, I can't even remember. I jacked off with somebody the other day though. Ich dachte, das war lustig. Hatten sie es? Sie haben es. Okay, gut. In der Tat, es wurde vor dem Start verabschiedet. Verabschiedung ist einfach lustig. Ja, und weißt du was? Was aber passiert ist, ist, dass ich ein bisschen faggig geworden bin.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und dann, weil manchmal habe ich einfach nicht so einen großen Sexstreik gerade. Richtig. Und das wird gross werden. Entschuldige, das ist TMI. Ich habe keine Orgasm in über zwei Wochen. Oder drei, glaube ich. Es ist seltsam.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich weiß nicht, ob wir... Ich habe einen Penis.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Miss White Leotard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Du wirst wütend, aber wenn du den Sex machst, wirst du kranker. Du wirst riskieren, das Dick zu zocken und dann aufhören.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I'm so pale.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You're on air. Today's snow is crippling much of the Washington lowland. Say their final goodbyes to this fallen Louisville police officer, D.D. Mega-Doo-Doo. Oh, that one! D.D.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Be so for real. D.D. Mega-Doo-Doo.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mega-Doo-Doo. Deirdre mengers something. Deirdre. And the worst part is, it's a fallen...
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This brave woman whose name I can't pronounce. Producer, may I have her name? You can even do that. And let me tell you this, bitch.
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Das war der von Bianca Del Rio. Sie hatte eine ganze Song über Bianca Del Rio, über wie sie hofft, dass sie stirbt. Sie ist so krass.
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Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Her name was Didi Megadudu.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
I mean, live reporting is, I mean, can you imagine? Live TV?
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Und auch, ja, Didi-Mega-Dudu. Didi-Mega-Dudu. Es ist wie Didi-Mega-Du-Dont. Sag nur das Mädchen. Deirdre. Es ist ein schreckliches Name. Deirdre. Hey, Baby, was denkst du über unsere Tochter? Kelly oder Simone oder Natalie? Deirdre. Deirdre. Was für ein schreckliches Name. Ich weiß. It might as well be Didi's Better. A name that is only going to get nicknamed. Do you know what I mean?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
It's like, why do you do that? Why do you force the, like, I don't get that. What is that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Und sie klagt. Und sie klagt über das Wetter.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Baby! Honey! Well, that's what I wanted to tell you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mary, like I told you, I thought I crossed a four-way. No, it was a two-way stop sign.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You win three million dollars.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Entschuldige mich. Ich nehme nie... Du nimmst die Side Roads? Bitch, es ist... Lass mich dir über Miss Coenga erzählen. Okay? Ich weiß über Coenga.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Aber ich denke, dass die Straße hier schnell ist. Natürlich ist die Straße schnell. Es ist auch zwetschrig.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
But here's the thing about that. The freeway is terrifying.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Na, das ist mir passiert. Die drei Tage nachdem ich meine, äh, ich bin du, nachdem ich nicht für zehn Jahre fahrt oder ein Auto wohnen, habe ich die ganze Seite davon ausgeschnitten, aus meinem Apartment-Komplex. Ich fühle mich einfach so, und ich habe gegoogelt.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You take all the precautions. You learn all the rules. And let me tell you one fucking thing. Die Verantwortung der ersten in der Linie, wenn es einen grünen, fucking linken Schlüssel gibt. Ja. Ich bin auf dem Scheiß. Niemand hat mein Spiel. Ich erwarte das Scheiß, bevor es überhaupt passiert. Mein Pedal ist so... Also du rufst das rote Licht. Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Natürlich müssen wir warten auf die Stragler, weil es immer fucking Stragler gibt, die roten. Aber ich bin nie zu spät für das grüne fucking Schlüssel.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Hast du das Video von der Amazon-Truppe, die über die Frau fuhr? Hast du das Video von der Frau, die 90 Meilen pro Stunde in eine Gasstation fuhr? Kunti. Ich meine, da blickst du und vermissst es.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Über ihr ganzes Körper.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
That's right. Women who really know what time it is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Well, what about, remember when I was up in the hills? Do you need to be punished, princess?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Are you my bad little girl who needs to be punished, princess? What is this? I don't know, it's just like, it's like fun type stuff.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Ich meine, erinnerst du dich an die verdammte Schmerztrappe auf den Höfen, an der ich war? Ja. Das war verrückt. Leute, die trank waren. Leute, die in der Mitte der Straße joggen. Leute, die alle in Ninja Black sind, in der Mitte der Nacht, in ihren schwarzen Labern, auf einer 20-30-Foot-Liege. Was ist das? Linda, Debbie, komm schon.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
They turned it out. I love it. I got to get all my moldy tchotchkes out of storage. And yeah, I think it looks great.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Girl, meine Lieblingssache ist, 90-Pound-Women mit riesigen Hunden auf der Liege zu laufen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Mädchen, was denkst du? Mein Angst? Nein, nein, mein Wunsch. Mein Wunsch. Ich bin auf hohem Wunsch, wenn ich im Auto bin. Ich meine, es ist, ich bin nie in dem Auto entspannt. I am content because we got the whole music library at our fingertips. Right. Any podcast, you can put it on. So you can't complain about traffic. You just can't do it. But you budget for time. You cannot rush.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
You cannot rush. You can't do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Du kannst es nicht machen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Du kannst es nicht machen. Du kannst nicht durch ein rotes Licht steigen, weil du zu spät bist.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, Paisley. Paisley like a plaid.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Das ist okay. Ich will mich einfach aufholen. Sie kommen in mein Haus. Und das ist das Ding. Fahren ist süß, aber sitzen im Hintergrund und dein Telefon zu spielen, ist wunderschön. Absolut, ja. Also, es gibt etwas, worüber ich, vielleicht furchtbar, meine Vertrauen in einen armenischen Mann, mehr als in jemand anderem in diesem Weltraum. Natürlich.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Weil diese armenischen Männer mich dazu bringen, wo ich gehen muss. Und sie machen es manchmal gefährlich, aber wir kommen immer auf den Weg. Während eines Familienkonferenzrufs. Ja.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Aber es gab ein Mal, ich kann nicht glauben, dass es nur ein Mal war, aber, Mädchen, ich denke, ich habe es dir wahrscheinlich gesagt, ich dachte, mein schwarzer Fahrer war absolut trank und auf Drogen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
That's terrifying. That's the terrifier. That's the terrifier. But I mean, I don't do the highways. I don't fuck with the freeway. What about the byways? I love the byways. Love the triways. I love Miss Cahuenga Pass. Oh, ouch. I'm sick of the byway erasure.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
Cahuenga doesn't give brick. There's no bricks on a Cahuenga.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Go to the Grauman's.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Thank you. Applebee's is open till 2 a.m. Baby. And they have, they have all you can eat buffet on Sundays from three to six.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Ooh, ooh, what's her name? What's her name? You're so small.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, go off. Do whatever you want to do. I just wish the descent into fascism wasn't so riddled with stupidity. But I guess that's the foundation of that kind of prejudices, ignorance.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Mrs. Grace?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Don't fact check.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You're like, get out, oldie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You have to.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Ellen needs the work.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, town hall justice or village pitchfork justice is not the right kind of justice. I wonder about those things. If it's exploit exploitation, I watched, Ooh, did you watch, did you like sad stuff?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Adolescence. Oh my God. It's four episodes on Netflix. 13 year old boy stabs a girl to death. Oh, my God. And it's just the aftermath of the trial or the investigation, the trial, the parents, the school, the community. It's like devastating. It's good, though, which is great for Netflix because they really need a win. They're pumping a lot of turds out of that shit factory. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That electric state. Mama. I know we're not supposed to speak ill of our employer.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's done. It's too much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What are we waiting for?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It has singing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
How was the singing from Miss Godot?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Is she really?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Okay, I didn't know. I don't know anything about her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Are the dwarves all 35?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I don't like that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Well, then why don't we make the people animated? You don't have to hire Gal Gadot then.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Okay. Oh, so they're, okay. That's interesting.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Wait. Oh yeah. Walk sign is on. Wait for what? Wait.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Creatures.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Okay. So they were non-human. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Gotcha. Gotcha. And she's like, oh my God, it's a creature.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Hey. And what is their relationship?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
They just better not do the actual song from her, I would say.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I'd like to know about your seven little creatures.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Sweetie, they have stacked the cards against her. They made her play at a penalty. They gave her a golfing handicap. I was like, why are you doing that to Miss Summer White?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
This is a missed opportunity to hire miss Lana Del Rey and have her. No, because they, they missed it in Priscilla. They missed her scheduling conflict. I'm sure they missed. They did it in Maleficent. She did one of the songs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I know. I don't understand. I don't know why they're doing it. I guess, oh, existing IP, existing IP. Let's just like, people know it. People know it. But like, I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
She was like, gal cannot sing. She cannot act. And she even struggles to stand there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
So who cares? Thank you. What did they do when they changed CeeLo's Fuck You to Gwyneth Paltrow's Forget You? Bless you. That was a real weird one. Melodyne. That's a new one for me. Autotune Melodyne.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But she has the beauty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's one of those vitamin B torch shots I get.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Also, the hag portion of that is the fun of that character because you see her in different iterations. I remember when Sigourney Weaver was Snow White, she played a version. A hag. And the hag was fierce. Fierce. Fierce. Um, I watched a movie that you give me Marla Hooch. Yeah. A lot of night games.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, the club foot in here. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Totally. Yeah. I mean, more hags, love hags. Speaking of hags, Andrew's show last night, Cunty. Oh, how'd it go? It was really good. So it was one night with Aster. Also, the nerve of him to have merch, just, that's amazing. I blinked and there were t-shirts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, I'm like, so this is my 20th year in drag? 18th year trying to sell shit? Can't come up with a good, whatever. It was amazing. He did a very, very poignant and stirring rendition of a Judy Garland song that brought tears to the eyes of the people. What song was it? I don't remember, but it was amazing. Perfectly delivered. And he looked so beautiful.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I was worried because solo show, you never know. Mary, you don't even know about our solo shows. Mama, I don't want to talk about my solo show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
He was incredible. And it made me want to do drag. That's how you know. Wow. Yeah. Wait. Wait. Oh my God, wait. Wait. Wait.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's insult to injury.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That's when it's so painful and you're like, I'm a sad clown. I'm an angry Bugs Bunny or something. It's just so corny. It's corny boots. It's corny. It's corny, corny.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I took my corset off. We did Netflix the other day and I had my corset on for quite a long time. And it had started to affect the organs in my body, I felt like. Yeah, yeah, no. It really did. It does. This is so gross. I won't. I took it off. And as I'm taking it off and my tights off, flatulence is expelling from my body in the most like stepbrothers kind of Forelli brothers movie kind of way.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You know, it's like. It's like the shallow hell kind of bathroom humor. It was so gross. It was so embarrassing, but I couldn't help it because I was like, it is what it is. Disgusting. Totally gross. Because it was all, you know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
The moment of release was like...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's five o'clock somewhere.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Cause let me tell you, you're never going to get it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's not plausible, probable or possible. Yeah. You know, 12 hours? No. No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That's me at 12 hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking about that the other day and I'm like, fuck, what is my window of freshness in drag? I think it's under two hours now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I think it's like a 90 minute window.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
That is so different.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I don't know about that life. Yeah, but you know what though? I still think about this all the time. My primary fear before going on RuPaul's Drag Race was sweating. I was like, it kept me up at night. I was like, I'm not going to be able to, I'm not going to survive. I'm not going to survive. I'm just going to be wet the whole time. Cut to set and it's 45 degrees.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But there's something, it must be the lighting there. Is it the lighting? Because we did 10 hour days. Some days. It's adrenaline. No, no, no, no, no.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No, but I'm looking, I'm just saying as a person looking at the makeup, I don't see the nasty as much.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It's the lighting, right?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Because we don't. And you weren't 42. No, but I was 32 and I wasn't wearing any makeup because I thought I was like a girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Like this. 301 101 cut in half no I mean it was I wore 111s or 210s or the whatever not 301s fierce I really thought it was like hi I'm a girl everyone's like what no blush no eyeshadow like nothing no I did experiment with eyeshadow at some time at some point at some point oh but I did go to the the trouble of making nails we didn't look great like I did
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I go and don't do the thing that I do and then I wear black wigs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, because, yeah, they did the same thing with Nosferatu. They had a hearse and a coffin and all that shit. In the theater? Oh, no, no, outside it. Oh, that's so cool.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, wait.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
The mallard.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I love it. I love it. I love it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Will you, your body just, you know, when I don't have time to wait for, I'm not waiting for your body dysmorphia. Not one second.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Does he talk different when he's not on the air?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I think it's probably portion control. She's like keeping tabs on his weight.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What would your Breaking Bad name be? Oh, what is his name?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
John Carlo Esposito, I believe it's the same. He eats, he chomps. He chomped in that one. He's so good. You would be something like Pookie, I don't know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
There you go. Yes. Yes, girl.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Don't do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Do you think that'll help? No, you'll start spinning around in one corner like a Roomba and you won't get it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh, damn.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Wait until the cars come. And then let them hit you. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I know that it's real in the sense that people do it. I don't think it's healthy or effective. And I just think it's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
But I'm going to. But I'm going to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well. Well, shit. Kal-El, no. Kal-El, no. Enough champagne, enough Babybel to fill the Nile. Goodbye.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, you know that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
I'm not ready to not stop talking about it. It's so dangerous.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Hate it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
You're so big, though.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
A tip-toe wig.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Human feces.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. Like I'm from Roxbury, Massachusetts.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
My name is Lawanda and I have like, and I live in the projects. It's crazy.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yes, it was. But you know what we all did? We all made a collective delusional decision to say, I don't see that brown screen. It's not there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
It was absolutely there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. We have to acknowledge the present, the,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Oh yeah. I think that she should write it. Does she, it's so funny that she came onto, you know, Coachella with the same, like, um, uh, what do you call that? Like it was her Coachella, Lana Chella. Yes. Right after Bay Chella, which was legendarily enormous and crazy. And she just rides in there on some like motorcycle and a little two piece and goes,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Like chemical flavored? Boo-boo lemon. Boo-boo. Boo-boo lemon. Well, I tried limoncello in Italy because it's like, hey, limonici. So you do it and you're like, this is fucking gross. Right. It's gross. It's like a lemon flavored battery acid or gasoline.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
What are you going to do with them?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
This episode is brought to you by Ritual. If you haven't been on TikTok lately, you obviously didn't know that everyone is talking about the gut microbiome these days. From the choreographed gut microbiome dances to the filters that make you look like a gut microbiome, the flora and fauna in our tummies is impossible to avoid on social media.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
Did you know that the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity, and of course, digestion? Well, it is. And with Ritual Symbiotic Plus, a three-in-one supplement of clinically studied pre, pro, and postbiotics, you can help support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. Most people don't know the difference between prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Let's take a break. Oh, my God. This episode is brought to you by Vya, with their amazing lines of both THC and THC-free products. Listen, friends, just like Vin Diesel in the fastest and furiestest franchise, life moves fast.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
No, this is like, this is the opposite thing. It's like, I know it's bad because I know it's me because I know I did it. Right. And then it makes it worse. It's the black mold. It's the black mold. It's the black diarrhea. I got fucking food poisoning the other day to add insult to injury. What got you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I've been using the THC-free Zen CBD Sleep Gummies, and let me tell you, honey, I've been sleeping so well that my dermatologist accused me of getting a black market facial. And I was like, no, Aurelia Lunar Tree, it's because I'm getting eight hours of restful sleep every night, all thanks to Via Zen CBD Sleep Gummies.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
If you want to be like me and you're 21+, check out the link to Viya in our description and use the code BALD to receive 15% off, free shipping on orders over $100, and if you're new to Viya, get a free gift of your choice. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Enhance your everyday with Viya.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, some days I open my eyes as the morning sun greets me in my four post bed and I think to myself, what would Leslie Jordan do today to make the world a better place? Perhaps a song, a little dance, a sharp retort that both makes you laugh and think. But even Leslie Jordan didn't have all the answers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
He knew when to ask questions or seek support from his community. And that, friends and countrymen, is what I'm here to talk about. In a society that glorifies hyper-independence, it's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Therapy can be a great source of support for anyone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
If you're a high-powered big city CEO of a baby food company who suddenly inherits an orphaned infant from a distant relative, you're going to need some support. And if you're not the main character from the hit 1987 movie Baby Boom, sometimes you need to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing when to ask for help.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
BetterHelp can be that support when you've had the worst week of your life at the office. I mean, on one side of your cubicle, you've got Lisa from accounting who won't stop hounding you for the expense receipts from the client dinner at Tequila Mockingbird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And on the other side, you've got Ken from HR who keeps saying you can't take a bereavement day due to the passing of your beloved pet cricket, Crick Jagger. Sometimes you just need a little bit of support to deal with that work stress, and that's where therapy comes in.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Therapy helped me realize that even though I didn't make partner at my firm, I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, I'm a lovely human being and people like the cut of my jib. BetterHelp helped me and they can help you too, all from the comfort of your couch, your car, or even your big city office.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost, and it's fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. BetterHelp is currently serving over 5 million people worldwide who decided to get help. So drop what you're doing and access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credential therapists with a wide range of specialties. Build your support system with BetterHelp.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Visit betterhelp.com slash bald today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash bald.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Ralph's. Okay. Did not wash them. Did not wash them berries. You didn't wash them. Did not wash them berries. And ate a whole thing of them. They were so delicious. Right. I could not believe how delicious they were. I was like, this is too good to be true. What's that extra flavor? Feces. It's E. coli. Disease. Yeah. E. coli in the berries. And then what did she do?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'm always wondering how much to get paid. And that's always in their contract when they do one of those movies, because those movies are just money laundering for the rides. That'd be so fun. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. It's great. I mean, I love the, um, at, um, Bryce Dallas Howard. Yeah. Yeah. Running in the heels. Love that. Running in the heels. Running in the heels. What is it? What's the one? Universal. Universal is like that. They have like the rides that don't really move. They're all video, but they look like Universal.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And they should do a baby night. No baby night. They do a no baby night? Baby, baby, baby.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Oh, she blew ass for like 15 minutes straight. Then she went to puking. Oh, she went to puking. Oh, she went to retching and hollering and screaming and sweating and screaming and clutching and retching and vomiting and puking. And every single thing that went into her little teenage body was up in that toilet. Well, have you had food poisoning before? Girl, can I tell you something? It sucks.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'm curious about what the Disney gay person thinks about all the babies. Because I couldn't believe how many babies there were. And that was a real bummer to me. Because it's a very baby centric.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Totally. Which I mean, I think is great. And I think it's wonderful that they have so many stroller options and like it is one of the most ADI compliant or what do you call it? ADA. ADA compliant places in the world. A lot of scooters. No smoking. Very anti-smoking pro baby, which I think is fabulous because those crowds are very in sync with that.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yes. Ooh, it's happening to little, little Peter Pan. Well, no, it's happening to the frog princess.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I feel like, though, in this day and age, you've got to have some street smarts about you. If a signature is really, really, really, really that important to you, I'm going to say I need to see it signed. Right. Do you know what I mean? The picture.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It was, yeah. And you said, you just, you're just saying that you would never, you would not wish this upon your worst enemy. I 100% agree.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah. I hope that they all... Get food poisoning. No, I don't. I hope that they do get black mold though. And I hope that they do have to. But not both at the same time. It's inhumane. It's just too much. This episode is brought to you by Ritual. Recently, I went on a road trip up the California coast with my friend Laser Star Muffin, who designs bespoke toothbrushes for celebrities.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And that's not even the weirdest thing about him. He also claims that he has never eaten a vegetable. Apparently, there was one time his mother stuffed a green bean inside a steak, but he detected the change in texture whilst chewing and spit it out. As you can imagine, his gut microbiome is an absolute nightmare.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
After the fifth time we had to roll down the windows on the 101 due to the overwhelming odor from his flatulence, we got to talking about Ritual. I told him all about his flora and fauna and how the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity, and of course, digestion.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
With Ritual's Synbiotic Plus, a three-in-one supplement of clinically studied pre-, pro-, and postbiotics, you can help support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. For instance, do you know the difference between prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics? You may think they're all the same thing, but you'd be horribly wrong.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
While different, they actually work together in perfect harmony, Deborah. Probiotics contain the live microorganisms themselves, the kind that make up a flourishing microbiome. Prebiotics contain the nutrients those microorganisms need, and postbiotics are natural byproducts that support the gut barrier.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I've raved to laser about how Ritual Symbiotic Plus helped transform me from a bloated goblin to the cool, calm, and regular pooping gentleman recording this podcast ad right now. And it's not just me screaming from the mountaintop about Ritual. In a study that modeled the human colon, Symbiotic Plus increased the growth of beneficial bacteria and microbial diversity.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's designed with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon, not the stomach, an ideal place for probiotics to survive and grow. All it takes is one daily mint-scented capsule for simple streamlined gut support. Plus, it's vegan-friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, and artificial colors.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
So get your gut going, support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Synbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's ritual.com slash bald for 25% off your first month. Marley Spoon And every year, I hear about the ugly navy blue shutters from nosy Susan across the street, and our meal routine remains the same mix of hectic insanity.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's just random things thrown together at the last minute. Listen, folks, when taking little Jimmy to t-ball practice and Jasmine to dance lessons eliminates any free time you have to meal prep, let Marley Spoon lend a hand. Marley Spoon can help you fast track your way to eating well without all the stress. And with our code BALD, you can get up to 27 free meals. As you all know, I hate to cook.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
But when I do cook, I hate spending hours in the kitchen. Marley Spoon's new 15-minute express recipes are exactly what they sound like. They're convenient, delicious, and on the table in minutes. You'll find these on every weekly menu. And if you've got a few extra minutes, they have some great 20 minute options too. My personal favorite hack, they're sheet pan dinners.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
The puking is awful. I didn't, I got, I didn't, I didn't get much of the end, that the poopy end. I got all the, the, The puking.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Literally throw everything on one pan and boom, you're done. It's meal magic. My favorite recent meal from Marley Spoon was their express chili lime chicken ball. It was insanely easy to make and ready in just minutes. So Jeffrey and I could microwave some popcorn and have plenty of time for family movie night.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And if you're really in a hurry, Marley Spoon also has delicious ready-to-heat meals when you don't feel like lifting a single finger after spin class. Life is difficult enough. When it's time to eat, I want it to be easy, fast, and delicious. Heck, if I started a meal delivery service, it would literally be exactly what Marley Spoon does. And the best part?
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
There are times when I almost feel like a professional chef. I look down at the plate and think out loud, Miss Thing, you did that. Marley Spoon gives you over 100 recipes to choose from each week. We're talking everything from cozy comfort food like the big batch of beef stroganoff to lighter options like the salmon and creamy mustard dill sauce tray bake.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
There's literally something for every mood. This new year, fast track your way to eating well with Marley Spoon. head to marleyspoon.com slash offer slash bald and use code bald for up to 27 free meals. That's right, up to 27 free meals with Marley Spoon.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
One last time, that's marleyspoon.com backslash offer backslash bald for up to 27 free meals and make sure you use our promo code bald so they know we sent you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
We don't need puking. I don't need more burst blood vessels in my life.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I hope that they never have the pleasure of watching Fargo season five. That I do hope. You love her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, the Fargo.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's so good. Do you like it?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, it's so good. And they did... You would love Fargo season two with Miss Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons. It is so good. Oh, God. In Fargo season five, she just ripped it up. Shit all over it. Pissed on it. Is it on HBO? Or Max? I think it's FX or AMC Plus. It's one of those.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And that's a- He knows and he- She's so strange. Well, this is what I- People are so weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I would go from that's weird to like, I was very confused about it because I woke up at three in the morning and I was like, Oh God, I feel so weird. Ooh, I feel so weird. I felt like that. Um, it's like, you know, when you start to salivate and you're going to throw, it's like your body's prepping to throw up. Sure. I was like, Oh God, this is weird. This is weird.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
What is the reason? What is the reason for the season?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Cause I haven't thrown up in forever. I never get sick that way. Like stomach sick or whatever. Uh huh. Cause I don't drink. Right. I mean, and so like, I never, I don't, the vomiting thing is like really not a part of my lifestyle. Anyways, the, Oh my God, it was horrible. It was horrible. And then for, it didn't eat anything for a day and a half. You get the rental. Yes. You have a rental now.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Get out of here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Listen, you could... If anybody's out there... Thinking like, oh my God, the love of my life is there's only one of her and she's in Moldova. I got some, I have some news for you. Do you know anything about Moldova? Nothing. Not one damn thing. I think they speak Russian. They used to. Oh, okay. It used to be like part of the Soviet Union. Okay. But yeah, I'm sure they probably still do.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
But there is, I got to tell you that there's probably five women in this town for you. Well, that's the thing. In this very town that you live in with your mama on the floor in the closet. That's the thing. There's probably 15 on your street.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
No, I was in my gutted fucking piece of shit condo. So you're puking in the bathroom with the gutted walls and no shower? Yeah, no shower. And I had, thank God for Andrew because he was like, he took me from, I barfed all over the rental. And then I found the welcome, one of the bath mats that today, it was covered in fucking blueberry puke. Disgusting. Oh, that's a very colorful puke.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
You get out of here.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
TLC, look to your left, look to your right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, yeah. Little Orphan Annie and then the Terrifier.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Headgear and play video phone?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Like what? I'm going to put on my headgear, attach it to my braces, put on my Pac-Man Ultra.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I don't like it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
How does it feel to be the person who mounted the anti-Amelia Perez movement? I feel very secure in my role as that. But I want to give a shout out to a gay man. Who? Brad Goreski. Oh, yeah. Yeah. From the comeback. Why? Because he has, as a stylist, that man is 10 for 10. He's batting a thousand when it comes to his client, Ms. Demi Moore. Sweetie. Did you watch Real Gays of WeHo? No.
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A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Maybe he was on that. Oh, I didn't see that. Maybe he was on it. But I'm telling you, as a professional stylist to the stars, Hollywood stars... He is batting a thousand. He is 0 for 0. You know what the expression is. He has not missed a beat. 0 for 0 means he's never tried. He's 10 for 10. He's only had 10 jobs. He takes that crank and he yanks it off every time. He goes...
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
He gets that chainsaw and he cuts off those heads. He is doing so good. And she is looking so perfect. And it's just been not a miss. The Lord's work. So good for her and good for him.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It would be a shame.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I would take the shotgun that I have placed right on the table and then I would put it in my mouth and I would go bon appetit and goodbye. Hell yeah. I've got to play something. I really do. Play it. Okay.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It was purple and blue and so staney. So staney. Blueberry's staney. Yeah. Oh my God, it was horrible. But what about the antioxidants? But the thing is, I can't tell you how delicious these blueberries were. They were good. Would you do it all over again? No. I went to the fridge and I saw I had another case of them. I was like, don't do it, Jackie. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
That would be the weirdest thing ever. Wait, wait. You're one of those constitutional sheriffs.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's so good. That's, um, it's, um, Fargo season five, Jennifer Jason and Jon Hamm. Oh, I thought that was the fucking news. It sounded like the news. I thought they were like libertarian ways in. No, that's literally what it is. He's like a libertarian sheriff in North Dakota or whatever. He's just like the strong arm of the law. And she's a billionaire. And it's so cunty. It's so cunty.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Because they're both villains at the start. And then one of them kind of softens up at the end.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Oops, I shit it again. Do you like Hollywood Tower of Terror? Do you like the drop rides? Yeah, I like anything. I like maximum impact. I want to be scared. I want to be terrified for my life. It's Guardians of the Galaxy now. Oh. Different theme. But that doesn't really matter, right? It's the same. It's still drops. Same drop, yeah. Love to drop. Love to drop. It's incredible.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Because you really do feel like you're going to die. I love that. You crave death. Mm-hmm.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's good.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
We do. Okay. I can't look at that girl the same way I followed her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Could you imagine if I did it and then did it over again?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
But so, okay. Well, I'm never going to eat blueberries again in my life. Right. That's just it. And I don't think I'm ever going to eat food from the grocery store either. How long did it go on for? The puking and the pain went on for 24 hours and then was followed by the most bizarre window of non-living. A day and a half of nothing. You lose a day.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I didn't even know who I was, where I was, or what I was doing because I wasn't eating, I wasn't drinking, and I wasn't moving. Won't pick up the phone. I was literally just like this. Yeah, I know. I was the dad of strangers in Canada.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Everything's too much. I couldn't go up and down the stairs. I was going to like get hot. I get freezing. So like I'm sweating in three layers of clothes and I'm just like literally Gwyneth Paltrow in contagion the whole time. Day and a half. Didn't go to the bathroom. Didn't go to the bathroom. Wait a minute. Didn't go to the bathroom. No fluids coming in or out. Nothing. Did you poop? No.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I haven't gone big potty in quite a while. Dang. Day and a half, nothing, nothing. Literally just coming out of the fog right now, like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It sucks. It's horrible. I hope nobody has to do it. I hope I'm the last person on earth who ever has to do it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I'm mad as hell. And you know what the worst thing is, is when you have no one to blame but yourself.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
And it was. I swear to God, it was distended. Distended and hugely bloated. And I was like this.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
moaning yeah oh andrew's driving me back to my he's driving you yeah i wouldn't let somebody see me if i was that sick oh no no it was it was it was like i was like you have to help me i was like help me help me and he was so nice and he drove me from the thing to the thing and i was the whole time i was like how am i not gonna puke how am i not gonna puke and i was like uh right uh
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Then why are you going on rides?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Well, I watched The Final Destination. With the roller coaster? Yeah. Yeah. Had to. Had to. You never seen it? No, I never. I watched all of them on YouTube because I don't like any of the story. I just went all to death.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
That's what they said in the movie.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I always factor in that, like, people say, oh, well, yeah, well, it's like, well, then I won't go. There's either that or nothing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's a stroller park. It is. Four of them. You know, you ever seen the four? Oh, yeah. I'm laid across. I got two twins.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Why would you be going like that? Why would you be going ass first?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I can't do that, though. Because I can't... I'm not capable of lying that much. You know what I mean? It's like, well, if you're going to scream about it, you have to examine it. And if you examine it, then you realize it's you, bitch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Oh, fierce.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
I like the Jurassic Park one because the dinosaurs are really fucking scary. Yeah, that's scary. They were scary.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
It's like multiple rides. Multiple rides within a ride. That's crazy to me. I was like, I feel like that's like, I'm going to go to the grocery store and bag my own groceries.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Yeah, you got to move. You got to get up and move. I don't get to, when I get into a ride, you know what I do? I get to sit down and be scared shitless.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
I know it's,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
And if you're a trans lady, I'm going to need you to bring your cock to the cock room, okay? There's no men's and women's bathrooms no more. It's the cock room and the pussy room. The pussy and tits and the vagina room, okay? So I'm going to need you to take your cock and I'm going to need you to bring it to the room where I bring my cock. And we're going to piss together.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
How did that take place?