The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya
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What mysterious message does Silas P. Hoofman convey?
Welcome aboard Via Rail. Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and sip. Play. Post. Taste. View. And enjoy. Via Rail. Love the way.
Do you know that song, Semi-Charmed Life in the 90s? I want something. I hate that song. It's about meth, apparently. Great. Is it? Yeah. Ugh. I don't like songs about stuff. Just kidding.
How do Trixie and Katya humorously critique 90s songs?
I love math.
I hate the song.
No, it's about math? I guess. Say more. Well, I was thinking, this could be my new karaoke song. I really like it. And I looked up the lyrics, and as I was reading them, I was like, wait a minute. Is it like, the pookie's in my mouth with my torch lighter? Girl, you want to talk pookie? No, explain to me more about why this song is about math. Well, let me show it to you. Okay. Did you watch the Devo documentary? No. No. She who doesn't watch TV. Snatched me together. Really? Snatched me together. It was incredible. I'm not done with heated rivalry, but we ended on a cliffhanger. So I want to jump off the cliff. I'm packed and I'm holding. I'm smiling. She's living. She's golden. She lives for me. Says she lives for me.
Ovation.
What wild story leads to a discussion about taxidermy?
Okay, wait. I'm packed. I'm holding. And I could make you smile like a drug for you. Okay. It could be about Benadryl. No, no, no. It gets crazier. The sky was gold. It was rose. I was taking sips of it through my nose. I wish I could get back there smiling. Okay. Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break. Don't you think that's a little obvious? You're joking. Oh my God. Doing crystal meth lift you up until you won't break. It won't stop. It won't come. Then I keep stuck. Literally doing crystal meth is in the lyrics. Yeah. With a TikTok rhythm, a bump for the drop. Okay. So I think that you're probably right. And the thing is, when I was in college, I took play analysis and we learned a lot about like metaphor.
And I think this is not a metaphor. I think they're just saying meth. I had no idea. She was dragging that dead horse at the restaurant. It's such a feel good piece. It's like a rom-com song. I asked her, did you kill your sister? And he said, yes. And I thought, something. Wait, cliffhanger, cliffhanger. Oh, right. Previously on Bald and the Beautiful, taxidermy. Right. So Andrew and I moved to the studio. I'm just like taking care of the last little pieces of shit in my red room. A taxidermied antelope falls on my head. The horn pierces my head. And gashes it open. You better stop. Mary, I got pictures and I've got stitches on my head right now. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You had to get stitches?
Honey, listen to this. So the contractors are at my house. It happens. They did the stitches? No, no, no, no, no. Staple gun. We did everything wrong first. So it hurt so bad because the thing was very heavy. So the weight of it, it's 20 pounds, 25 pounds. And the horn... the point of the horn broke off and after it sliced me, I was stunned. Like I was, I was like, Oh, it like hurts so bad. And I don't, I haven't, I haven't been injured in so long. Like, Oh, Oh. And, and I, I go blood just is, I grabbed like a, a, a cloth, soaked it in blood. I had to get another one. Then I go upstairs to the deck and I, the guys are working out there. I just point to my, I go like, I'm like, what do you want them to do? help.
Is Andrew there? No, no, no, no. This is my, this is my house. Andrew's, Andrew's not interested. You're bleeding. He's like, he's like, no, but so Lester, the, the contractor comes down. He's like, I'm like, I'm bleeding. And I'm like, like silent screaming and pointing at myself. And we go downstairs cleaning with alcohol. Don't do that. Burns. Yeah, but also it dries it out. It's not what you're supposed to do. It's soap and water. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Soap and water. And then you press, press, press. We put three, four giant bandages on it, bled through all of them. And I was like, then I put like ice on it. What day was this? This was, oh gosh. Was this after Christmas or before Christmas? I have the picture so I can tell you exactly the date.
Did you have to go to the hospital? So I didn't go. I was like, that happened in the late afternoon. And then I'm like, I don't know.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What mysterious message does Silas P. Hoofman convey?
0:00–0:35
2
How do Trixie and Katya humorously critique 90s songs?
0:35–1:21
3
What wild story leads to a discussion about taxidermy?
1:21–4:48
4
How does a taxidermied antelope impact a personal experience?
4:48–7:00
5
What unexpected injury occurs during home renovations?
7:00–10:57
6
How does the conversation shift to health and wellness?
10:57–14:35
7
What are the insights shared about the TikTok Awards?
14:35–19:48
8
What humorous interactions occur at the TikTok Awards?
19:48–1:04:41