The Best One Yet
🤝 “TikTaken” — TikTok (finally) sold. Diet Coke vs Coke Zero. Madison Square Garden 5.0. +Chimney Sweep Surge
26 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This is Nick. This is Jack. Welcome back. It is Monday, January 26th, and today's pod is the best one yet. This is a T-boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. Jack, I got another update for you. You know, my birthday wish was for guac to be free. Uh-huh. And then some Yeti sent us a gift certificate for free guac. Amazing.
We just got a DM from Chipotle for free guacamole, my friend. What? Seriously? Yeah, they're yetis over at Chipotle. They just broke the laws of economics and made guac not extra for us. That is a first ever. They've never done this for anybody, Nick. Chipotle, thank you for the warm capitalist hugs, Jack. Three fantastic stories for today's show. What do we got on the T-Boy?
For our first story, TikTok has finally officially been sold. But while the U.S. got the chassis, China kept the engine. Because the M&A of TikTok's U.S. business actually stands for messy and ambiguous. For our second story, why are zero sugar sodas surging while diet sodas, pretty much the same thing, are dying? Well, because boomers do diet, zoomers do zero. And our third and final story.
Harry Styles is performing at Madison Square Garden for 30 shows starting in May. Lovely. Unless the garden gets moved. Get this. Penn Station is coming back and MSG is getting the boot. But yetis, before we hit that wonderful mix of stories... Oh, what a mix of stories to kick off the week. Love the mix, Jack. Welcome back from an outrageously cold weekend.
I mean, Jack, I'm checking the numbers here. One half of the U.S. was hit with some kind of snow or ice or wintry friggin' mix. The high on Saturday here in Vermont was negative four. The high, and I'm not talking about a wind chill. Jack had to wear three yak sweaters. I saw a picture of it.
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Chapter 2: What are the implications of TikTok's sale to American investors?
He's like a giant meatball. But Nick and I were at a business show, and we found one surprise winner of the biggest snowstorm in like maybe ever. It's actually one of the oldest industries, is it not, Jack? Chimney sweepers. Chimney sweepers. The hottest new job is literally hot. According to the New York Times, the profession of chimney cleaning is surging over in London.
Get this, the Chimney Sweep Association membership is up 27% in the last five years. And the reason is high and volatile energy prices. Just last week, with that storm on its way, natural gas prices rose 75% in the U.S. And when prices pop, you search for a cheaper substitute. Grab the marshmallows, honey. You pivot to the fireplace.
Chapter 3: Why are zero sugar sodas gaining popularity over diet sodas?
If you got one, the wood stove. In Europe in particular, Russian gas is no longer a reliable heat source. So those Londonites are going all in again on logs. That's why 2026 is the biggest year for chimney sweepers since Charles Dickens. I mean, we're getting the Mary Poppins level pop over there, Jack. Chim chimney, chim chimney, chim chim true. Yeah, congratulations to Dick Van Dyke.
Still living, by the way. Not too shabby. Still chimney sweeping, I think, too.
I know.
So in this economy, a chimney, that's a profit, Buffy. Jack, I see that great story.
15 years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in a dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is the norm. Jack Nick, that's it. I don't even think they need to practice. 50%, that's a fat tip. T-Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show.
For our first story, it's final and official. TikTok's U.S. business is now American-owned. TikTok will not be banned. We'll tell you who the new owners of TikTok are and if they're actually in charge or not. Yetis, the President of the United States, the House of Representatives, the U.S. Senate, and all nine Supreme Court justices agree on one thing.
TikTok cannot be legal in the United States if it continues to be owned by China. Well, now, six years into this TikTok saga, TikTok U.S. is not owned by China anymore as of last week. That's the big news. TikTok announced that they have separated off their U.S. business and sold 80% of it to non-Chinese investors.
ByteDance, a Chinese tech company that owned TikTok, is keeping 20%, but they're giving the other 80% to mostly American investors. They're giving the other 80% to the consortium. The consortium. I feel like we need a music thing there, Jack. The consortium is made up of billionaire investors mostly connected to the Trump White House, and they got a sweet deal.
We say they got a sweet dealer because they got to buy 80% of TikTok's American business at a $14 billion valuation. Jack, can you sprinkle on some context? $14 billion, that's the same valuation as Snap. It feels to me like TikTok is more valuable than Snap. It's basically one lift if we look at the numbers, Jack.
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Chapter 4: What are the latest updates on the job market during winter storms?
So Jack, let me whip out the whiteboard and calculator here. Three times 15%. That's 45%. Jack, who owns the other 55% of American TikTok? We didn't get exact percentages of the rest of the investors, but they include Michael Dell, billionaire founder of Dell Computers, and VC firms like Susquehanna, General Atlantic, and seven other VCs who previously had invested in China's ByteDance.
Mr. Beast, the YouTube star, he tossed his hat publicly in the ring and said he'd love to own a piece of TikTok. He got left out. Ah. Looks like he got left out. Now, ironically, the biggest owner of TikTok US today. Who is it, Jack? Still ByteDance. It's ByteDance from China. Their 20% is bigger than all the other investors, and they get to keep one seat on the board of the company.
Basties, like we said at the top of the pod, in this case, M&A doesn't stand for mergers and acquisitions. It stands for messy and ambiguous, especially because of our takeaway. T-Boy VC got left out of the deal too. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at American TikTok? Remember that Burger King catchphrase, where's the beef? Well, for the TikTok sale, where's the algorithm?
Yetis. This sale of TikTok US to prevent TikTok getting banned, it may follow the text of the law, but not the spirit of the law. Because the most important part of TikTok is not being sold at all. The algorithm. The algorithm. That remains in Beijing. Now, reminder why China owning TikTok was a problem in the first place? It's because of
China is the most sophisticated propagandist the world has ever seen. And they were in charge of Americans' media diet, the For You page, which we scroll for like four hours a day. But Jack, it appears China is still in charge of that media outlet algorithm situation. TikTok's press release actually said Oracle will secure the algorithm. It also said that the U.S.
entity will have the power to moderate, i.e. take down content from TikTok it doesn't like. But the key here is still the algorithm, which determines what you see next and is the reason people like TikTok in the first place. It's still made in China. TikTok US will pay ByteDance to use their algorithm. That's the situation here.
like a McDonald's franchise paying McDonald's corporate to license the Big Mac. You know what, besties? Lindsey Graham, the senator, summed it up well. We've gone round and round and ended up not too far from where we started. Because if TikTok is a car, we Americans got the chassis, but China is keeping the engine. Where's the beef? Where's the algo?
For our second story, there's a new business battle brewing between diet soda and zero sugar soda. Boomers love one, Zillennials love the other, but Pretty much the same thing. Diet Coke versus Coke Zero Sugar. This is the parent trap of branding. Oh, besties, whip out the calendars. We got 13 days till the Super Bowl in San Francisco.
But we already know one commercial we're going to see on TV and one that we won't. Diet Pepsi will not have a Super Bowl commercial this year. Pepsi Zero will. And the reason? Well, Pepsi's CEO put it this way. We've gone all in on zero sugar. A majority of Pepsi's marketing budget this year is going to their zero sugar branded sodas.
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