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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hello, is this Jesus? No, this is Patrick.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus.
Oh, yeah, dancers and prancers, welcome back to the 12 Days of TCB. I'm Brian Green. This is Kristen Joy Hoadley, also known as Mrs. Claus. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Mr. Claus is probably at home in his little Santa Claus apron with his ass cheeks hanging out.
Yes.
Flipping some yackas for breakfast. Some flapjacks. Indeed. Chrissy, there's great excitement around the Green household, and I'll explain why. By the way. Santa's coming. Santa is not coming. Well, Santa is coming. Oh, he's not coming. Santa's coming.
No Christmas for you kids.
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Chapter 2: What exciting news about Bluey was shared?
Every time. Fuck you. Actually, most parents are really cool about it.
Yeah.
Most of the people that we know are really cool about it. And one of the things I have heard most often from people who like the show and then end up listening to it is this, especially if they have kids. I started watching Bluey because of you, Brian. And now I like it. I've heard this four or five times.
And that makes me proud that the commercial break has done one fucking good deed in its entire life. Bluey is such a great cartoon. It is. For adults and for children. The lessons are not—they don't beat you up over the head with the lessons, but they're life lessons that everybody needs to learn. And the reason why Bluey— It's a fun show, too. It's fun.
It's not just about the lessons, but they make it fun.
The music is fantastic.
Yeah, they dance around. The little family's so cute.
It's really funny. The dad is wonderful. The mom is wonderful. They're dogs. They're wheeler dogs from Australia. And the reason why I think the cartoon hits me in the soft spot is because the lessons are lessons you should learn as a child. But you need to relearn as an adult.
You need to remember.
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Chapter 3: How does the podcast discuss the connection between Pokémon and religion?
Oh, he used to be a Satanist, by the way. Oh, okay. Notice that he has... A particular salute. He probably shouldn't have left that part out. Former Satanist turned prophet. And he's in this pose. Every time that you see Mewtwo, he's in this pose. Now, he has three fingers. That's because it's a fucking card, you dumb shit. What do you think is going to change?
It's going to morph into something else? And those three fingers are always sticking out like that. Now, he doesn't have five fingers like we do. He has three. But if they were the three... Which means he's two less, Chrissy. He can ring your bell with one slap of the hand.
Bing!
Bong! Make a jizz all over yourself. Mew two. On us... Should be called poo two. Those right up your bum. Be this... The devil's horns. Yeah, he's sticking the devil's horns up. Or hook them horns. It doesn't mean hook them horns. Doesn't mean I love you. Doesn't mean one more. It means hail Satan.
One more?
How would that mean one more? It doesn't mean hail Satan. How does this mean one more? This means two. It doesn't mean one plus one. It doesn't mean two fingers.
I'll have one more.
Yeah, one more. Hey, waiter. One more. Oh. Did you mean two? No, one more. It's the universal sign for one more. No, this is the universal sign for one more. One finger, not this. This means two more. ...that all Satanists identify themselves with. And it says here. Wow, they got a stadium full of Satanists every Saturday afternoon in Texas. College Station.
It says for many kids, it's now an addiction. Very much so. Cards, video games, toys, a new movie. Very much so. Is it bad for them? What we need to look at is whether or not that particular statement holds true. What we need to look at is which editor at time decided they would waste an entire cover on Pokemon and is it good for our children? Is it bad for them? Here's one of the characters.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of Pokémon cards according to the preacher?
I told you. It's a lightning bolt.
Oh, yeah.
And it's a satanic Z. It even comes down here to a point. It's a satanic Z?
Yeah.
It doesn't even look like a Z, let alone a satanic Z. Just by looking at him alone is not enough to really be able to say, okay, yeah, that's bad, or that's satanic.
What we first need to do is we need to look at... What we first need to do is go fucking crazy, and then we can look at him and determine he's Satan.
The actual production of these things. And the first thing we need to do is we need to look at who actually produced the trading card game that has captured the minds and the imaginations of our children. Now, it doesn't make any difference what I say. It's what their own material says because their own material will give them away. Okay? So I'm going to read to you.
Here we go.
Here we go. Conspiracy theories abound. Okay. Here's the direct quote from the web pages of the producer of this game. Listen to this. The Pokemon trading card game is a new collectible card game that is made and distributed by wizards of the coast. What is a wizard? Woo! Male practitioner of black magic.
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Chapter 5: How does the podcast analyze the role of Dungeons & Dragons?
That's right. Hey, brother. What's up? I'm going to roll a fatty and then I'm going to go down and murder some chickens.
Hang them.
One more, bro. One more. Holt Lace trading card game, which has been very popular in the 90s. And I should also tell you that Witches of the Coast also owns a subsidiary company named TSR. And TSR is the company that puts out all Dungeons & Dragons material. I feel like this guy should have a board. Like that always sunny in Philadelphia guy where he's connecting the dots.
So let's look at... Yeah, you want to know why? Because you have to sell one million and seven dungeon and dragon sets to make a fucking dollar. So they have to get all the, you know, they conglomerate like this. Magic, the gathering. There's one of my children running down the hallway chasing Pokemon. Pokemonsters. This is the same company that puts out Pokemon. PokeTuna Monsters.
That's what she's running down there. So let's see where they're coming from. Exhibit A.
Now, from seeing the symbols, your actual discernment should now begin to be sharpened. How many see a circle? That's an oval, my brother. How many see a pentagram? They're showing a magic the trading cards or magic the game. They're showing the actual logo, the box that you would get. Yeah. If you look, there it is. See that?
Yeah.
See that? It's a circle. You see that? You see that circle, Chrissy?
He could at least have a pointer.
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