Chapter 1: What humorous parenting advice does King Zan offer?
you can't just have one kid every only child i've ever known is weird they're weird i'll take a weirdo i'll take a little weirdo give me a little weirdo instead i got three kids that somehow all have the exact same villain origin story oh you can't have one kid they're not gonna have anybody to play with they don't play together they don't play together they don't even like each other they're enemies the closest they come to playing together is body slamming each other on the nugget sofas
Okay? It's a fight club in here. Just have one and know some peace in your life. On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Bring me my phone so I may ring up thy pussy. Hello, Barbara. Are you available tonight? It's on. Benevolent king of pussy. Barbara? Are you there? Barbara? This phone doesn't work. Bring me another phone so I may ring Barbara back and get thy pussy for the evening. Barbara?
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh, yeah, Captain Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the fans of my walls, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian. I made you the nicer one.
Yeah. As we're recording the VP debate last night, I'm over it. I'm officially over all of it. I know. All of it. Just get me to the voting booth. Let me do my duty as an American citizen and let World War III begin.
Yeah.
Oh, hey.
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Chapter 2: How does Hurricane Helene impact the discussion?
Okay. I imagine a Goose and Trey stage time together is possible.
Well, they're playing on different nights.
I still say that's possible. Yes, it could definitely be possible. I think it's happened once before, if I'm not mistaken. I think I saw that somewhere on the Fish page or something like that. I follow the fish page, although, you know, I find some of it. I love fish. I think fish is a great band. I really do. I love them. And I've been to a lot of live shows.
But when I turned, like, 40, I was like, wow. I don't know that heroin and balloons are my thing anymore.
Plus, you have 30 kids.
Plus, I have 30 children. That's right. I started having 30 children right about when I turned 40. But anyway, so there you go. Memphofest.com.
It's starting today, so go get it.
Goddamn. Let's go to the parade of terribles that's going on right now.
First of all. Last weekend. Yeah. Well, I guess it would be two weekends before now, right?
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Chapter 3: What scandal involves P. Diddy that is discussed?
We haven't talked about it. Horrible storm. Horrible storm. People up in the Asheville area and the Carolinas really got hit.
It is unfolding, I think, in real time for everybody that North Carolina is a complete disaster zone. The entire state, eastern Tennessee, northern South Carolina. I have family that live there in like that Clemson area. They avoided the worst of it, but it still was not great there. Greenville got hit. Augusta, Georgia got hit. Anywhere south and east of I-75, if you know what I'm talking about.
It was just a huge storm. It covered so much area.
It was just a haymaker. That's what it was. And now people are missing and people are dead and livelihoods are gone and complete towns are washed out. Asheville may never be the same again. And I like Asheville. Astrid and I's very first... Let's say our second date was in Asheville. And I love it. It's a beautiful town.
Oh, it's a great town.
I spent a lot of time in eastern Tennessee and that Asheville area and the Blue Ridge Mountains and riding up and down that Blue Ridge Highway. That's where I went to school. There's a lot of people up in those Blue Ridge Mountains and Chimney Rock and Asheville and all those areas up there. And it's complete devastation.
Actually, this isn't funny at all, but one of our friends on Facebook for days was like, my daughter and her boyfriend...
for what reason i don't understand because that wasn't told in the story but let's assume that it was they were there on an extended stay we're in an airbnb in chimney rock and they could not get a hold of them for days making pleas on facebook and instagram and people were you know call this guy this person might be able to trek up the hill this dude is in the area you know this girl they haven't had power cell service none of any of that yeah
None of it. And so finally, a helicopter was... They put like a GoFundMe page together to get a helicopter up there. And somebody here in Atlanta said, I'll fly the helicopter. And they were found. But that's the level of devastation is that you can't make a phone call. You don't have any water. You don't have any power. Your house might be completely gone. Damage. Yeah.
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Chapter 4: What are the 10 ways to be an alpha male according to the guest?
A more famous person than P. Diddy? A more famous person than Team P. Diddy? I know, I saw that story. Holy shit. Who not? I'll tell you who not. P. Diddy right now. That guy is in some fucking trouble.
Ah, yeah. He should be. I mean, he should be held accountable for every bit of it.
Oh, yeah. Don't ever get out of jail. I mean, just rot. If I was him and half of this stuff was true, I would honestly go to the government and I'd say, I want to make my amends. I know I'm never going anywhere. do me a favor and at least don't put me in solitary confinement for the rest of my life. And I will do what I need to do. I'll pay the victims. I'll, I'll spill the beans, whatever.
I mean, he's in a tough situation, but he has apparently hurt a lot of people and now they are coming for their pound of flesh. And that is crazy, including children. I mean, that's just insane. That is kind of, you know, I don't believe in conspiracy theories, but you hear this shit and you're like, well, uh, you know, I don't know, about these elites and these big sex rings and all that.
And then you go to yourself, wow, this is big. 120 new accusers supposedly filing lawsuits in the next couple of days, which is just insane. And now the federal government has at least alluded to the fact that many of these victims who are going to sue P. Diddy are also coming forward to talk to the government. And so he will... never get out of jail if half of this stuff is true. I don't think.
I mean, unless he's got like a really fantastic... This guy needs... Atticus Finch is who he needs, basically, to defend him.
I mean, honestly, this is... I don't think Atticus Finch would defend him.
No, no, no, I don't think so. But you know what I'm saying. He needs F. Lee Bailey or somebody like that. Remember F. Lee Bailey? I do. The guy from the O.J. trial? What else did he do? Wasn't he part of the... Was he involved in the Manson case in some way, shape, or form? I think so. Didn't he, like, prosecute... Oh, no, that was... Or was that Giuliani? Well, no... Giuliani did the mob.
I think it was F. Lee Bailey that at one point prosecuted Manson, and Manson jumped out the back of the court window. He went to go to the bathroom, and he jumped out of the court window. He was gone for like three months. No one could find him. You didn't know that part of the story? Yeah. Which, oh, no, not Manson. I'm sorry. Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy. Yeah.
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Chapter 5: How does the concept of the manosphere relate to the conversation?
It's dangerous. It's huge. And then you just, you open it up to a big problem that then you have to fix because you can keep the pool running even with a cover on it, but you can't put any chemicals in it. You can't clean it. You can't do any of that stuff.
I don't know the ins and outs of all this.
So you can close the pool. I think you... I don't know because I'm not really good at this, actually. But I believe you just shock the shit out of it and just make the chlorine levels super high for the winter, I believe. And then you try and manage it back down when you're going swimming. But also, the pool's huge. It would take a lot of cover to cover it. And third of all...
It's just dangerous. Like if someone falls in, if the dog walks on it, and then it's just a whole nightmare. I mean, they have safety covers.
Plus, I'm thinking about what you would uncover when you uncovered it.
Oh, my God. A frog pond like it is right now. There were three fucking frogs. It was fine until the storm came. And the storm here was nothing. It was a spritz. I mean, it rained a lot. And there was some trouble downtown with some of the creeks and rivers and stuff like that. But I think for the most part, we got out unscathed.
People who got flooded here had their house on stilts because it's been flooding there for a long time. I mean, most of them anyway. I don't want to minimize the damage, but you get what I'm saying is that it wasn't necessarily unexpected that those areas would flood because they're in floodplains. We did not get it like Asheville got it. Say that.
But after it rained, you know, I had it all fucking fixed. And then after it rained, day after day, I would look out there and I'd go, is that, is it turning up? I'm colorblind too. So I'm like, is that, got a little twinge of, is that a little greenish, a little murky? And this morning I woke up and it was a straight up frog pond. So two days ago, it was green. Like everything was green.
Algae all over the side of the walls. And I'm like, what the fuck? What happened? And I go in there and Gustavo was here.
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Chapter 6: What are the implications of misogynistic views shared by Zan?
And I mean, jumps out. I mean, like jumps off the bottom of the pool and is now swimming in the pool. So me and Gustavo and the frogs don't know how to get out of the pool. Once they're in there, they don't know how to get out of the pool. So me and Gustavo are playing frog rescue, throwing the frogs out, like, you know, trying to like scoop them up with our hand and throw them out of the pool.
And they just bounce back in. I noticed a bunch.
I saw a huge grasshopper.
uh on my fence the other day and then also too like just yesterday running around town that there were these uh grasshoppers all over the place yeah uh you know probably because they the storm yeah when the storm comes and it soaks the ground the ants get you know the ants and their mounds get disturbed and roaches that fall off the trees i know it's like the whole thing
Yeah, when there comes a lot of rain in Chicago, where I used to live, you know, it used to happen when it rained a lot is the earthworms would come out in bundles. I mean, they would just all be like, and it was if you went after a storm, you went into your like backyard, nice green grass. All you'd see is just earthworms crawling out of it. It's kind of creepy. Yeah.
I love the rain, but I never wanted to go in my grass right after a storm because the earthworms creep me out. Then forget about it. My grandpa took me fishing. The one time my grandpa took me fishing. I'm like, I'm not touching that shit. Don't get that shit away from me. Stop being a big baby. I was in World War II. Um, so I just, I don't just don't know what to do with that pool anymore.
I called professional help, you know, but of course it's $10,000 to clean your pool. When is that? When it looks like that is $10,000. So I'm talking to the pool guy the other day, like Bubba from the pool company, Bubba's cool pool company. Cause they're also all very busy. So I had to call 30 different pool companies until someone called me back. And the guy calls me this morning.
He's like, yeah, I'll be out there tomorrow. So you send me a couple of pictures of your pool, man, that pool's out of whack. And Yes, it is. He goes, how long did it take you to get that green? And I go, well, about a week. About a week? And I said, a week. And he goes, a week? And I go, a week. And he goes, man, you've been messing with those chemicals in ways I don't understand.
And I was going to say, all your hard work of going through it.
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Chapter 7: What personal anecdotes does Zan share about relationships?
You just did that. No, I put 40 pounds of salt in there. Well, no, I put 200,000 pounds of salt in there. I don't have so many bags of salt. So I'm like, really? And he's like, yeah, just go there. They'll tell you how to use it and everything. And you got the whole thing and you got to do it. He goes, but you're going to save yourself probably about seven, eight hundred dollars on me.
He goes, because I'm just going to do the same thing. And I was like, OK, all right. Well, I appreciate you being honest.
At this point, are you just like, fuck it?
i'll deal with it honestly yeah honestly with all the drama that's going on but i can't stand i'm just too ocd to look out there and see that green pool i got the pool and my like you open these two big huge windows in my bedroom and all you can see is that fucking green pool with the frog swimming in it and i swear to god they're swimming in it it's like a field day for them they love it it's perfect it's perfect ph balanced for the frogs they're eating the algae off the walls and having a field day
So I go up to the pool place again, and they're looking at me like, dude, you've been in here like six times with your pool water trying to get this right. And I'm like, I don't know what's going on.
Well, the storm, too, probably.
Yeah, the storm.
Because you said your pool was overflowing.
It was overflowing. And it was overflowing for hours. And that, you know, you can put all the salt you want in a pool. If you keep on refreshing it with fresh water, it's going to get fucked up. And then you put leaves in it and that's, you know, organic matter. So it's just like having people swim in it. That's also organic matter.
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Chapter 8: What legacy does the episode suggest we should consider?
Maybe that's the part. That's all about it.
Oh, God. You're going to drive yourself crazy.
Well, I'm just going to let Bubba deal with it. I'm just going to be like, Bubba, fix it. I think that's probably best. I don't care what it costs anymore. I don't give a shit. I'm one of those guys. When I'm in over my head, I like to pay people to fix the problem. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm not one of those try and fix it myself. Go to the professional. I'm not that smart.
Go to the professional. I quit taxes.
Right. Don't get the guy who is half retired and 79 years old.
Get the people who are actively involved in actually doing tax. A little lesson from Chrissy and Brian to you out there in the studio. Peace. PSA. A little PSA for you. Speaking of PSA, I have... So, since we're going to take some time off, I found a video. Remember Zahn? The guy Zahn, the poix that we did? Yes. Who he was like the most depressing?
He had all his books in Turkey or something? Or where was he living?
He was in Switzerland or Sweden or Amsterdam or something.
I thought it was like Algeria.
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