Best Of: Aw, Nuts!
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Why is Bryan absent in this episode?
Dead to the world. And it's only Tuesday.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Every time I start these episodes, I feel like I have to apologize because I'm bringing you a best of. But you know what? As a woman of the world, I'm just not doing it anymore. And I'll probably bring that up in therapy. Anyway, unfortunately, Brian is out of commission post-throat surgery. So he said, Christina, it's time for you to shine, my darling. It's time for you to do your job. And to that, I say, sir, yes, sir. So here we are on a Tuesday, no less, with another best of episode. Now, however you feel about best ofs, I know you're going to enjoy this one because these episodes are funny regardless of how many times you've heard them. And I would know. Since Brian has just had surgery, I thought to myself, what is topical, hard-hitting, informative news that I can give to this serious, cool, and collected audience?
And the answer came to me. Another time when Brian had surgery. I know. I know. I am a genius. So, I'm taking you back to the time when Brian got a vasectomy. I mean, it's a procedure. And we're starting off with his emotional and physical preparation for said procedure. Enjoy and you're welcome.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. If I have the world's biggest yacht, you know what I'm putting in there? I'm putting in a manscaping room where I have a team of people that are just there to trim up my shenanigans. And then I'm also having a butthole tanner. I'm just putting a butthole tanner. I'm having someone hold a black light to my bum hole all the time. And then I have a third room for bleaching my butthole. Because, you know, why not? If you have billions of dollars, why wouldn't you bleach your butthole? Right.
I don't want to.
That was a thing for a while. Everybody was bleaching their buttholes, getting vaginal reconstructive surgery. I always thought that was ridiculous. Why would you bleach your butthole? Why do you even care? Listen, let me get here's a little newsflash. I don't know how it went from Jeff Bezos to buttholes, but let me just share what my opinion is on this. If you have someone that's going back there in that direction, if they're willing to put their mouth or their vagina or their penis or whatever it is you're into back there behind, they don't care what color your butthole is. They've already understood in their brains, I'm going back there to do the dirty deed and I don't care. I'm just getting back there.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So having a bleached butthole, it's not going to make any much of a difference. I don't think so. And I've seen some before and after pictures. And I'm telling you what, an asshole is an asshole. It doesn't really matter if it's brown or if it's white. It's an asshole. It looks like where poop comes from. That's it. That's the only thing you got to know. But if I have the world's... How does it even... Hold on.
I'm going back to the bleach butthole. How does it even happen? Like, is there just a paste that you maybe put on it? Or is there like a ring? I don't know, but pretty soon... How long does it take? Does it burn?
Are you putting hydrogen peroxide back there? Are you bleaching the hair back there? Are you bleaching the actual asshole? No, it's like a clean ass.
What humorous story does Christina share about Brian's vasectomy?
I don't know what they put on there, but we might find out pretty soon. We might have to take a second job bleaching assholes here from the studio. We'll make TikTok videos out of it. I still, I got this person on my Instagram. I do not follow, but she keeps on popping up. She is a... wax specialist for down there like a like a you know french bikini or yeah i think i have the same person popping up do you mind yeah and all you see is like she'll put like a little cucumber like a tiny little cucumber over the vulva but the rest of the vagina is is clearly there she's getting around the instagram filter very wide very slyly but she's basically showing the vaginas before and after what these people do and and the butt too and i'm like wow
Is that that's a lot of work going on down there.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
Why is Bryan absent in this episode?
0:00–3:20
2
What humorous story does Christina share about Brian's vasectomy?
3:20–4:36
3
How does the conversation shift to personal grooming and aesthetics?
4:36–28:40
4
What are the details of Brian's vasectomy procedure?
28:40–35:33
5
How does Brian describe his experience with nitrous oxide during the procedure?
35:33–45:15