Chapter 1: What does the perfect date look like for the hosts?
Describe your perfect date.
It's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th because it's not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
On this episode of The Commercial Break... We didn't even go to the door.
We're sitting in there in the car like two nudniks waiting for our teenage friends to come out, sneak out of the house. The dark house. Yeah, the dark house. I feel like there's something wrong with me. What am I doing? Why am I not going to the door? I don't know. And then they appear out of the darkness.
Right, in the mist, the rain, fog mist.
Right. And then I got to get out. Yeah, exactly. It's cloudy. It's weird. It's rainy. It's windy. So then I get out of the car, you know, and Astrid's like, what do we do? And I'm like, get out of the car. Let's get out of the car.
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Chapter 2: Why did they hesitate to go to the door on a blind date?
Let's say hello. I don't know. I'm meeting your boyfriend. I'm meeting my boy, new boyfriend for the first time. What do you want me to do? Do I got to give him a hug? Touch his balls? What do I do? How do I, how do we handle this? Do I, is there a kiss at the end of the date? I'm concerned. Is my breath smell okay?
Yeah.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris DeJoy. Only best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there on the streaming and podcast audience. Thanks for joining us. Here we are, a lovely Tuesday afternoon.
It is lovely outside today.
On the precipice of the apocalypse. Right. And everything's going well. We won't think about that. We're here to give you a break from all of that jazz.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about meeting new people?
What happened to my microphone? My damn kids. Is it my damn kids or is it my damn wife?
Did she get on the microphone?
What's that?
Did she get on the microphone in here?
She was trying to help me out with a reel. And she wanted to do it one way and I wanted to do it the other. And I said, no, stand here. And she said, no, I'll stand there. And all she had to do in the reel was hit me with a shoe. And I kept telling her, hit me in the head with the shoe. And she's like, I'm not going to hit you in the head with the shoe.
And I'm like, hit me in the head with the damn shoe. And she's like, I won't do that. First of all, the chancleta or the chancla in Latin America is the shoe, which I didn't know. This goes all the way back to ancient times. Apparently Aphrodite or somebody would throw a shoe. That's somebody. And so the chancla is like storied in Hispanic history lore.
Every household has a story about the shoe being thrown at them. Throwing of the shoe. Throwing of the shoe, the hitting of the shoe, something. Like my dad had a brush, the Irish brush, like an Irish shoe shine brush. And he would hit us with that. which is a lot worse than a shoe. But, you know, you grew up in a certain time. You got smacked. That's what happened.
If you were out of line, you got smacked. Or he'd like to pull the hair right behind my ear. That fucking hurt, too.
Oh, the ear pull.
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Chapter 4: What cultural references are made about shoes and parenting?
That's just you do what you have to do. But anyway, so I went on my blind date, my boy blind date.
I'm so excited to hear about this. Yes.
Okay. First of all, let's say that someone is in the chat saying they're wearing their TCB merch right now. You have to have won some kind of prize. You've caught TCB on time, on a live, in a stream with your merch on. That's a trifecta right there. Thank you for that.
Yes, the stars aligned.
I'd say your name, but I can't read that far. My glasses aren't that good. So I shared with you last week on Friday's episode or Thursday's stream that I was set up on a boy blind date with one of Astrid's friends has a husband and Astrid made it a point to tell me.
Better get along. I better get along.
Act right. Don't get out of line. I need you to really like this guy. You two have to get along. And I just felt really weird. She made it weird. She made the whole thing weird. I didn't like it. And I said to her, guys, don't act like that. We're not fussy. We're not worried. I mean, unless he's fussy. I'm not fussy. I get along with anybody. I'll just do it. So Saturday night rolls around.
First of all, wasn't up here where we live. It was down in the city. So now I'm irritated.
Which I, that's one of the reasons I couldn't come up for it because it's... It's fall.
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Chapter 5: What happens during the blind date with Sal Volcano?
Uh, And she keeps on repeating it to me. And I think I'm hearing it the same way. I'm going to give you an example of a name, right? This is an example of a name. Not his name, but an example. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. Jose. We're in the car doing this fucking Laurel and Hardy routine.
Okay.
And I'm saying it correct. I don't know any other way to say it. So, you know, and then I'm like, we're sitting in the driveway and I'm like, do we get out? And she's like, they don't have power, Brian. Do you think they want us to come in their house when they don't have power? And I go, that's a pretty keen observation. But I don't know. Should we go in our house?
You could have come to the door. We didn't even go to the door. We're sitting in there in the car, like two nudniks waiting for our teenage friends to come out, sneak out of the house.
The dark house.
Yeah, the dark house. I feel like there's something wrong with me. What am I doing? Why am I not going to the door? I don't know. And then they appear out of the darkness. Right.
In the mist. Yeah. The rain fog mist.
Right. And then I got to get out. Yeah, exactly. It's cloudy. It's weird. It's rainy. It's windy. So then I get out of the car, you know, and Astrid's like, what do we do? And I'm like, get out of the car. Let's get out of the car. Let's say hello. I don't know. I'm meeting your boyfriend. I meet my boy, new boyfriend for the first time. What do you want me to do? Do I got to give him a hug?
Touch his balls? What do I do? How do I, how do we handle this? Do I, is there a kiss at the end of the day? I'm concerned. Is my breath smell okay?
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Chapter 6: How did the hosts feel about the comedy show they attended?
He goes, it's okay, man. People say it all different ways in the United States. Hosset. Hosset. Yeah. The accent's on the J. And I'm like, the accent's on the J. The J is silent. What are you talking about? The accent's on the J. Stop it. Stop fucking around. You're just messing with me now. So they get in the back of the car. And honestly, the guy could not have been nicer.
Like, I think the fact that I was driving and he was behind me and he didn't have to look at my face and I didn't have to look at his took the stress off a little bit.
That's true. Yeah. You're not face to face at like a dinner.
Yeah. You know, across from each other. I have social anxiety just like everybody else does. And I don't like talking to people and staring them in the eye when I don't know them, right? It's something hard for me to do. I mean, I do it, but I'm forcing myself to do it. I'm screaming for help inside of my head, but I do it.
But when I get into an Uber, I'm only looking at the back of the guy's head. So I don't care. I'll talk to him, you know, because I'm looking at the back of his head. I don't care. I can be weird and I don't have to worry about it. So I felt like that, like it desensitized the whole situation.
So we now, and now of course we have a-
Yeah, I'm sliding in. I'm easing my way in. Just the tip. Yeah, just the tip. Just the tip. Start slow. Yeah, now we have a four-hour drive down to, you know, downtown Atlanta from where we live. So that's good.
Were you playing music or anything? I'm kind of curious as to, like, or was it just light banter?
No, I actually had, like, SiriusXM on a news station. Oh. And I don't know. So I immediately, like, I'm scrambling to, like, turn off all the images on, you know, because it shows you which channel you're listening to. And it says, you know, liberal.
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