Chapter 1: What event is the podcast episode centered around?
Now that I'm a fashion designer, I'm in a tuple threat. Reality star, actress, singer-song reader, perfumist, IBS survivor, best-selling author of a book I didn't write. Catchphrase coiner, I'll take that with cheese. On this episode of The Commercial Break...
And I think Jake has made a mockery of boxing, though I do think he is a fighter that has some command of what he's doing. He's not a traditional boxer. He's more of a street brawler, but he's a big guy and he can swing his arm. I don't think they would have done the fight, moved forward. No, no, no.
But let there be sweet justice in this universe and let him get the holy shit knocked out of him. I don't want to see the guy, like, permanently hurt. I just want to see Mike Tyson just hit him a couple times hard.
Knock him out.
Knock him out.
Please, Mike. Please. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
We certainly are, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co-host of the show, Kristen Joy Oatley.
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Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on Jake Paul and Mike Tyson's upcoming fight?
Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Excuse me. I'm in the middle of watching the brand new trailer for Tom Cruise's new Mission Impossible movie where Tom is hanging onto an airplane that is doing circles that is like literally twisting in the sky. And he's hanging onto the airplane. And this is not a stunt double.
This is Tom actually doing this. Who in the good fuck is allowing this to happen? He is 72? How old is he? 67? 68 years old? How old is Tom Cruise? He's got to be in his 60s, right? I think so. How old is that Scientologist guy? 62. He's 62 years old. And somehow Paramount, who I think makes, I think they make these movies, it's still allowing him to do these incredibly insane stunts.
If he dies, along with it goes some of the most, some of the only Big Ten stunts. gangbuster, for sure, making a billion dollar movies. And I don't know how they're letting him do this. Let the stunt double do it. You're 62, Tom. Don't you have children? They have Suri and Yuri and Fry and French Fry and something like that, right?
Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about the Paul brothers' impact on boxing?
And isn't he like the, you know, King Ak-Ak of the Scientology world? Like, how is Scientology letting him do this? That's my question. Isn't there somebody at Scientology going, hey, this guy goes and we got the only representative that has ever brought more people in the door is gone. That's it. He's gone. Yeah. I know. He likes to do all his own stunts.
Nine times out of ten, I will wholly reject big tent pole kind of summer blockbuster movies. We've talked about this. Twisters and all this. I just wholly reject the idea of... CGI, big action sequence. I know they're popular for a reason because people tend to think they're good movies. They're fun. They're enjoyable.
You go to the movies and you have a little two hours where you're not thinking about something else. But I just don't get into those type of movies usually. But I do have to say that I caught the latest Mission Impossible on television, like on HBO, I don't know, maybe two months ago. And it was fun from beginning to end.
It is. I liked it a lot.
They're good movies. Yeah. I was like, okay, I get why people like this. Now, I haven't seen half of those Mission Impossible movies.
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Chapter 4: What personal experiences do the hosts share about road trips?
And now I'm looking forward to the next one coming out because I'm like, okay, now I get to see how the story finishes because it's a part one, part two. Is it really finished? How many have there been? Six, I think. Okay. How many? Let's see.
Hold on one second. Oh, my God. Siri doesn't want to fuck.
How many of those Mission Impossible movies starring that Scientologist guy has there been? Sig sounds about right. Yep. Hold on. Now it's an answer to something about Valentine's Day. How many Mission Impossible movies are there? There are... Why can't you just give me one simple answer? Right. Now I've got to go count them myself. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
There are seven of them with an eighth coming. With an eighth coming. Okay. With an eighth coming. Eighth is like the – it's like part one, part two. Okay. So the seventh is – whatever. Part one, part two. You get it. Part one, I almost died. Part two, I almost died. I mean, that guy – Last time he was hanging onto the side of the plane while it took off.
This time he's doing circles in the air with the airplane. Does all of his own flying, or most of his own flying for that Top Gun movie, which is just insanity. The way that they fly those planes. I mean, you are... That second Top Gun was good. I didn't want it. Never saw it. Didn't want to like it, and I liked it.
Yeah, I don't want to like it, and that's why I'm not watching it, because I know I'll like it once I watch it. It's like that Wahlburgers.
It's okay to like it.
It's like Wahlburgers. I'm not going in there because I don't want to like a Wahlburger. You know what I'm saying? I just don't. I'm sorry. I just don't want to go in and like a Wahlburger. There are just some things in life you don't do because you know you will then become one of those, you know, I don't go to a Trump rally.
I don't want to admit. That, you know, I don't like most of what he says, but there was a few things in there that I can agree with.
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Chapter 5: What are the hosts' views on dating red flags?
I didn't want to be a cobra breath guy, but now I'm a Kundalini guy. Guru Biji. That's it. That's the cobra breath. But you got to breathe into your third eye. Just remember that. Right. There's a third hole in your head and you got to breathe into it, or at least imagine you are. I just did that and now one of my ears is clogged. Thanks, Kundalini. I can't hear. I went deaf. Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
You're feeling enlightened. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise is 30,000 feet in the air doing circles on the top of an airplane, spinning around like an idiot.
Brian does the cobra breath once, goes deaf in his right ear. That's about right. That's about right. How did my stunt make me deaf? And Tom's like the one step away from God. Scientology. I'm not going to talk about it because every time I do, the episode ends up not. Yeah. I think it just bears repeating. Chrissy and I tried multiple attempts to do like an expose.
And I say an expose like the commercial break 60 minutes or something. I think we tried to talk about it. Yeah, we can't even have the facts straight. No, we can't. Expose. Expose.
We just try to discuss it.
Yeah, this is why we desperately need, like, someone to keep us honest in this studio, because we just cannot get the facts right. Christina, soon she'll be joining us here in the studio, which will be fun. But, like, permanently, on a permanent basis, like, sitting here with us. I'm excited. Helping us do the show. But anyway, me too. But, you know, we tried to do this.
We try to have these conversations and point out some of the hypocrisy and weirder things about Scientology. And every time that we did some kind of technical mishap happened, like the power went out. It didn't record for some reason. The screen only recorded black. And I am not kidding you. This happened on four different occasions.
And that weirded us so far out that we decided, let's just drop it. Yeah, drop it. And it wasn't like we did this like back to back to back. We tried to do this on like, you know, weeks apart and it just didn't, it just never came out. So that's why you've never heard an episode about Scientology here on the commercial break. But, you know, anyway. It went clear. Going clear. I have clear.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss their experiences with airport troubles?
But he says, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to wipe every bit of this bag, every hole. Okay. All right. You mean on the outside? Yeah. And the inside. And the inside. Wow. In my vanity case. Everything. Every inch of it. He wipes my shoes. He wipes my belt. He wipes my hand. Everything, right? Everything. So, okay. Everything's good, right? He's going through it.
He's got like five of these little claws. He's going through it. One, one, one, one, one. And then all of the sudden, Chrissy. Oh, wait. And I'm like, it's like a loud noise. And then he's like, security check blue, security check blue, line three. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And he looks at me and he goes, stay right there. And I'm like, what am I going to do, run? Take off.
Yeah, what am I going to do, take off? There's like 30 armed guards right there. I'm going to do like a stop, drop, and roll and go under the table.
A Tom Cruise.
Yeah.
Jump on a plane. Literally jump on a plane. So my shoes are hitting on something and I don't know what it is, but he does it again and it hits again. And then the manager comes over and I think she's just like kind of done with me altogether. Yeah. So now we're like 15, 16, 17 minutes into this whole thing. And I think she's just done with me. She takes the chews.
She stops this whole security line. She takes the shoes. She puts them through the x-ray machine. And you can watch them go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And then finally they come back out. And she goes, okay, you can go. And I'm like, oh, okay, thanks so much. And she's like, yeah, next time bring your ID. Okay, got it, 10-4.
So now I'm putting all my shit back in, you know, collecting all my stuff, putting it in my bag. Now I'm like 22 minutes into this. And Astrid still isn't there, the security. Oh, no, she was back.
Astrid, poor Astrid. Had to stand in line for like 22 minutes. Oh, no. Sweet justice.
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Chapter 7: What insights do the hosts provide about wills and inheritance?
I'm sorry. Why did I say Aaron? Logan Paul. Aaron Paul. Aaron Paul is the guy from Breaking Bad. From Breaking Bad, yes.
Sorry, Erin. I like you. I do like you.
Logan and Jake. So Logan Paul has been a famous YouTuber for a long time. Oh, it was Logan. Yeah, with his own set of bullshit. And listen, anybody who grows up in front of camera is going to have some missteps. It's just a reality. So I'm not faulting the guy for that. He's going to have some missteps, some misjudgments.
When you become that famous for doing silly shit, sometimes the silliness goes too far and he's certainly taken it too far. Was it kind of jackass-y stuff? Not really. He was appealing to teens and kids when he was younger, and then he did this stunt.
Honestly, for fear that I demonetize this particular episode, and I know that that's shitty to say, but I'm going to say this as carefully as I can. There is a famous forest in Japan where people unalive themselves. You understand what I'm saying? Yes.
Oh, okay, yeah.
And he went there and there was a they found a body, an actual body they found. Yes. And he made light of the situation in a way that just like says, I'm kind of not human. Like, why would you do that? I didn't even know that. Yeah. And then putting it out on YouTube nonetheless. So now you're just like monetizing this whole situation. That's really not very great.
But then just like the energy in general, like they have been involved in altcoin questionable activities and NFT. NFT in general is a questionable activity, but then they were involved. Did you see the Bitcoin? Soaring. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? I read that today. I was like. I bought altcoin the day after the election. Yeah. And I have done well. Okay.
I have done well. Good for you. It's the only smart investment decisions I have ever made have been around that fucking altcoin. I don't know because so much of it relies on sentiment. Right. And so like the sentiment in the market. And when Trump became president, I knew for a fact. Yeah, that the crypto bros were going to go crazy. And they did. They have for for certain.
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Chapter 8: What reflections do the hosts have on aging and spending habits?
Really? That's what this one thing is saying. They have not been officially released, though, the fight purses. How is that not a lot more money? I don't know. I don't know. Wasn't there a fight like five years ago where each of them got Pacquiao Jr. and Mayweather? Didn't Pacquiao and Mayweather fight for like $100 million a piece? That was a big one. Yeah, I watched that.
I actually paid for that fight because that was one of those events where I was like, okay, I want to see what everyone's getting excited about.
Yeah.
Pacquiao versus Mayweather. Yeah, here it is. Okay. Okay. Pacquiao versus Mayweather. Let's see. What were the purses? I think if I'm not mistaken, there were $100 million a piece. There were 4.4 million purchases on the pay-per-view alone, $410 million in revenue. Fight card, fight details. I don't know why Mike Tyson's left. Okay, so the revenue between... Okay, here's how it goes.
Ticket sales that were sold within a minute. As per the contract, the first $160 million of revenue and any revenue above $180 million from the fight was split 60-40 between the fighters with Mayweather receiving 60% share. Revenue between $160 and $180 was to be split... 51-49. So both fighters were expected to earn at least $100 million in revenue.
I can't imagine that this fight is less exciting than Floyd Mayo. I'm going to get a new microphone, Christy. I know you are. If we have to have five extra episodes, this microphone is going to go in. And what is going on with this microphone? And here's the thing. I can't figure out which wire it is. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm really pissed because I don't know.
I think it's this or maybe it's this. I'm not really sure. Just sometimes it decides to put out of me. Anyway, I can't imagine that Pacquiao and Mayweather, while it's a sanctioned fight, I think was a sanctioned fight, is any less exciting. This is a sanctioned fight too. Any more exciting. It's a sanctioned fight? Yeah. I mean, it's sanctioned, but isn't it like an exhibition match?
They're not going to like. It has nothing to do with like. I don't think Jake is actually like a professional fighter. I think he's an exhibition fighter. It's been sanctioned as a professional match. Oh, it has? Yeah. Well, then there you go. What do I know? All right. Okay. Well, the 15th, this Friday, super exciting. Going into it. Let's all root for these. I'm so glad I did some research.
I'm so glad you did some research too. 20 million and 40 million. These guys are getting terribly underpaid. Terrible. And I'm saying that as a guy who makes like $10 an hour. I mean, I'm being serious. You think I'm joking. All right. We'll be back.
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