Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Other planets have fall equinoxes.
How do they celebrate on the equini?
On Uranus, they go nuts.
They... On this episode of the Commercial Break...
We have a technique we call conversation. We have a technique we call talking.
Now, get out your notepads. I'm about to blow your mind. By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones with your tongue and your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you too can get laid. This is complicated, I know.
Technique.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
the commercial break i'm brian green this is the evan to my dando chris enjoy hopefully best to you best to you out there in the podcast universe evan dando and the dando evan and the dandos so anyway when i was in that band i was uh chrissy and i were just talking about uh the lemonheads you'll hear this in an upcoming episode why we were doing that but we were talking about the lemonheads and i was saying that the lead singer of that band his name is evan dando
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Chapter 2: How can you date more hotties effectively?
Because you know Trump doesn't know the first fucking thing about computers. He supposedly doesn't even email. I mean, he doesn't even email. So the only thing he knows how to do is do those truths, which is kind of ironic. But anyway, he... What I found out by doing a little investigation is that they're all trying to now get in big on crypto by making this trading platform.
And his son, Barron, wrote this white paper with other guys about how to do this trading platform and EFTs and all this other stuff. Well, some of the geniuses behind this who are pulling the strings because, you know, Trump just puts his name on it. That's his whole gig. He puts his name on it, finds an idea. Someone pays him a shitload of money. He puts his name on it.
So who are the people who are actually behind this whole new NFT, EFT, altcoin platform that they're going to put together? Well, one of the guys, what was his name again? Zach Bauer.
Zach. Zach Bauer.
Zach Bauer is on the corporate documents. And he's on the corporate documents, but that's not his only company. One of his companies is How to Date More Hotties or something like that. DateMoreHotties.com or DateHotter.com or something. He's actually a poix. He's a pickup artist. And he has been at one of our favorite...
conventions like you know alpha male conventions that we've been reviewing some of these guys up on stage for a long time the 21 convention so then chrissy and i went further down the rabbit hole in between friday and today uh or in between that episode and this episode we went further down the rabbit hole and decided to see if there was a 21 convention upcoming that maybe we could somehow infiltrate or at least i would show up to the bar yes and get some good footage and
and see what kind of lines they're trying to pitch.
You would just be like an electric lamp to mosquitoes, Chrissy. I swear to God. I mean, we'd have to get security with you. I wouldn't trust you just going down there by yourself. I'd have to be a plant. Of course, I'd probably look like one of the guys who would show up at one Um, so pause for those of you that don't know, I'm sure you do.
If you listen to the show at all as a pickup artist or a dating coach or an alpha male coach, uh, guys that are out there teaching other gentlemen how to pick up women for the specific purpose of bedding them. This is not relationship advice. This is how do you bouncing them on your bouncing them on your dick, which is a quote from Zach.
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Chapter 3: What techniques does Zack Bauer recommend for dating?
They tell you on the nose exactly what you're going to get. It is alpha male, trad wife, total buy-in to men rule the world, women don't. We're going to teach you how to be... Submit now. Submit. That's right. You are in power. I am in control. All that kind of stuff. Now... There's a certain segment of the population that certainly buys into this.
There's probably a big segment of the population that buys into this. Bigger than I'd like to think, Chrissy. And apparently in 2023, they ran into a hiccup. They had to cancel their 21 summit because of poor ticket sales. And the gentleman who has run this for the last 17 or 18 years, He put out a statement.
Yeah, his name is Anthony Dream Johnson.
Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony the Dream Johnson.
I mean, you're going to make this shit up. I know.
You can't make this shit up. You want to read that poster or should I?
Oh, my God. Well.
I mean, the highlights. I don't need to hear the whole thing.
Well, yeah. He's the first president of the Manosphere.
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Chapter 4: How does emotional investment play a role in dating?
So anyway, Zach was on our last show. We had, we were,
He was giving us – he had come up with the four elements.
The four elements. I got to give Zach credit for one thing. He gets on stage. Now, this is a very popular tone to take right now in the PAW community as I've trolled around the internet, is that the old – Pickup artists like Mystery and Adam Lyons and these guys, and to some degree like John Anthony Lifestyle, they are teaching you a scientific method of how to open a set, quote unquote.
And opening a set means... To make you look more attractive to a woman in a cold environment. Like you walk into a bar and you find that you bring some hot friends with you so that that girl and, you know, they're kissing all over you so that some other girl at the bar thinks you're attractive in some way.
You bring hot girls with you or something.
Back when the woolly mammoths were alive.
You say you dated a stripper and he stole your card. It's a Maserati.
Makeup stories that make it sound like you're a desirable man in some way, shape, or form, like opening the set. But what they don't ever tell you, according to some of these new poise, what they don't tell you, the old guard, they don't tell you how to actually get the girl in bed. How to get the bounce. Yeah, how to get them to bounce on your balls, which is what Zach actually said.
What they don't say is how to get them to bounce on your dick. Yeah. Oh, God. Which, you know, whatever. Anyway, I don't even know what to say. So, but okay, so he's taking a new approach. He's literally skewering the other speakers at the convention. He's like talking shit about them on stage. So I'm giving Zach just a little bit of credit for that.
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Chapter 5: What is the FERAL method for attracting women?
Just be yourself at the end of the day. Be yourself. Somebody out there is going to like you. You may have to strike out a million times before you get a home run. But take it from a guy who knows, right? Rejection is part of the game. I literally had to steal a woman from Venezuela. In order to get married. Okay? Alright. That was not an easy task because she's a smart one.
I had to convince her she was going to come here and be in the lap of luxury. And now she's begging for out. But I keep saying the children. But what about the children?
I don't give a shit. I'm taking the kids. Life under Maduro is better than this.
I'd rather live in communist China my mom willing to buy my plane tickets today so since this was so much fun on Friday and because we have done a little bit of additional homework and now we have some additional context to all of this I thought it would be a crime to not get into the meat and potatoes of this guy's speech because we really just scratched the surface this whole thing is like 50 minutes long we're not gonna go through all 50 minutes of it
His short speech is now long.
That's right. He got up there and he said, I know it's the end of the day and everybody's tired, so I'm not going to keep you here too long. And then he keeps referring to it. He'll be like, I'm going to get into this in hour number three. And I'm like... He's just not the most charismatic person in the world. But Chrissy and I will try and help you pop it along.
So let's do this, though, because we do have to pay some bills or my wife really will leave me. Chrissy, too. So let's do this. Let's take a short break. And then, oh, let me mention this before we go to break. Because this is, I think, it's prescient. I feel like this is something we should say. There are jokester brokers out there on the web who are now trying to sell TCB live tickets.
for like 60x the actual price for 250 they went from like 70 to 140 to 180 and now 260 is what i'm seeing on some of these broker sites that's crazy if you choose to use a broker site because you have a friend at the broker business and you want to keep their their mortgage paid cool i'm Otherwise, you can get tickets by going in the show notes to our live shows.
You do not, and this will take you right straight to the website where you can buy the tickets at face value. I promise you there are still tickets available. As far as I know, today, there are still tickets available. And if they're not, then I guess you're going to have to go to a broker site if you really want to go. But don't pay $250.
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Chapter 6: How important is eye contact in dating?
This is our first foray into live events in life. It's the commercial breaks first live events in general. So we have no idea what these shenanigans are, but they are not $250 or $60 or $70, whatever they're being sold for. Don't pay that. Just go straight to the website. If you sit in the back of the room, don't worry about it. They're small venues. You'll get to see us.
We'll all come and say hello. Actually, I plan on having an Uber waiting and warm at the end of the night. So in case you want to ask for your 40 bucks back.
We can jet out of there.
I'm going to have the Uber because if somebody does pay $250, I don't want to get killed at the end of the night. All right. Zach Bauer. More on him in just a few minutes. Let's say pay some bills and we'll be back.
We're not a real podcast if we're not plugging our Instagram, right? That's right, honey. So follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break. And don't you forget TikTok at TCB Podcast so you can see Brian and Chrissy on your homepage every day, which I know you're just simply desperate for. And if you want to see us in person, guess what?
You finally can because we're coming to Florida because only Florida would let TCB come there. Just kidding. Kind of. You can come see us at Daniel Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th and at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. Yeah, I know you want to come to both days. That's right. Anyway, the links to both of those are in our show notes.
So go get them, get your tickets, and then tell us that you're coming by texting us at 212-433-3822. And if there's anything else you need from us, I am sure you can find it on our website, tcbpodcast.com. Live, laugh, love. Bye.
All right, back here with our good friend Zach Bauer at the 21 convention that was unfortunately canceled last year. And I guess that means they're not having one this year also. But tickets are still available on their website. If you'd like to go last year to the one that was canceled, I'm sure they'll take your $3,000. $3,000. Is that how much it was? VIP tickets, yeah, $3,000.
VIP.
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Chapter 7: What are common mistakes in pickup techniques?
Go fuck yourself!
Exactly. Now we're on to something. Let's sit down. Can I buy you a beer?
The only thing, and this is the first step of what I'm going to give you, which is our Farrah system, which is basically like... Farrah?
Farrah system? I think this is like the last part that we did on Friday. The Farrah system?
Or the Farrah.
Farrah system?
Like Farrah flu.
Okay.
Which you'll need. I feel like I need some therapy is what I feel like I need after listening to this asshole.
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Chapter 8: How can you create an engaging conversation with women?
There's nothing about escalating. None of that. Okay. And the reason is this, because when I go up to a girl and I'm trying to, you know, build some sort of a dynamic that's going to let me move it towards sex, I'm not trying to open her. I don't want to spend my time opening.
Well, I've got news for you. I don't know if you've taken an anatomy class lately, but eventually you're going to have to open her. Oh Lord.
That's a big waste of my time. Who here has like a really good opener? Okay, let's hear a good opener.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Okay, this does sound like a good opener. Okay.
Why do you think some guys wear jean shorts?
No, what do you think of guys that wear jean shorts? That's your opener? That's your opener? Wow. What do you think of guys who wear jorts? Works every time.
Most of the time, it works every time. So where does that lead to? Just out of curiosity, just tell me where that's going. Yeah, I'm interested to hear this answer, too.
It's basically going to lead to most likely her laughing and saying that guys wearing jean shorts are a no-no.
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