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Chapter 1: What challenges did Bryan face while preparing for the wedding?
On this episode of the Commercial Break. But then, I know what a Catholic Mass entails. It entails kneeling. And I'm like, the second I fucking kneel, these pants are going to go... They're just going to split in the back. So, I had to kneel... Like this. I was like this.
To the side.
Yeah, to the side. I was like, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, keep my testicles in my pants, please. I was doing this whole dance. I saw at one point Daniel looked over at me, and he's like, I ain't doing you. It's a fucking idiot even in church. This is my idiot son-in-law. He's as old as I am.
Chapter 2: How does a Catholic Mass influence wedding ceremonies?
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
It's 30 in the morning!
Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hosey. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Episode 900 and... Ooh. 60 unofficially. Like number 900. 89 or something like that, officially? I mean, like, the actual camera?
Right, right.
Yeah, we're getting close.
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Chapter 3: What humorous incidents occurred during the wedding ceremony?
We're getting close. We're in probably a month and a half. We'll be at 1,000 episodes.
That's wild.
1,000.
We're going to have to have a party. From the flight deck, Mr. Captain. We're going to be flying right at about 1,000 feet up. Thanks for joining us tonight. Spot on.
That is. That's it. It's the McDonald's. It's either McDonald's. Love the McDonald's. Yeah.
Yes. Yeah. I want to. To make back.
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Chapter 4: What unique aspects define a Venezuelan wedding?
No, I don't.
is that you had you had real life experience i did doing that but we even back even back then in the 1960s we had better communication than they do now in those damn fucking things i'm sorry did you say take my order Yeah, can I get two Happy Meals? No, two Happy Meals. Huh? What? Yeah, I'll take that. It's like four fish fillets.
I thought you said French fries or apples.
No, I'm not using the McDonald's app. That's why I'm here at the drive-thru.
Right. McDonald's out. Okay, fuck you.
I don't even bother anymore. Don't even bother going to McDonald's anymore. It's just too much. Is it? It's too terrible. Unless I'm in Europe, McDonald's is terrible. I don't enjoy the food anymore. Because I don't know what happened in the last 20 years, but it has been a slow roll down to the bottom of the fast food chain. And listen, you know, you could say Taco Bell. Well...
Actually, every once in a blue moon, I'll go have Taco Bell.
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Chapter 5: How did Bryan's family handle the wedding festivities?
And it's the same shitty food I've been getting for 50 years.
At least you know what you're getting.
At least I know what I'm getting at Taco Bell. I know exactly what I'm getting. I'm getting good dog food. As my watch just alerted me, it's a loud environment. Yes, that's me, watch. I like Taco Bell every once in a while. I do too. You put enough of that Taco Bell hot sauce on there and you can't taste anything that's not good.
I like a good crispy taco.
Me too. A hard shell taco.
Yeah, a hard shell taco.
With sour cream that I am sure has no cream in it whatsoever. Yes. It's just some kind of gelatinous white stuff. And lots of fire sauce. And then away I go. I always feel... Less full than like, I feel more hungry than when I walked in, but I always, I always enjoy the, you know, six to 12 tacos that I guess you got to buy a lot of them. You know, I buy a lot of them. I say, Hey, give me the,
give me the sack yeah give me the 17 pack in a box and then i roll i stomp through them i make a mess everywhere you know hot sauce all over my fingers and crumbs all over the table or the car whatever it is and then i for some reason i always feel like i could have more i'm always like yeah i could probably do another five tacos it's like it's like the the uh crystal burgers
You could have 30 Crystal Burgers and still feel like you need another Crystal Burger.
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Chapter 6: What funny stories did Bryan share about his kids at the wedding?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've noticed that Crystal, too, down the street from you. Closed. Closed for likeā For seven years.
And it says, opening soon, renovations.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, really? It was like two years ago, and I don't go to Crystal ever. My father-in-law thinks Crystal is the devil. Oh, really? Daniel is like, I think he had a bad experience one time, and he just refuses. He doesn't even want to look at it when he's driving by, for some reason. Crystal is like his fast food nemesis. Yeah. Just like Popeye's is my fast food nemesis or Kentucky Fried Chicken.
I do not want fried chicken from any of those places. I fear what's really in that chicken, right? But I pulled in there. Midnight. It was two years ago. I was so fucking hungry.
The crystal, yeah. I mean, it's right there.
Our youngest was still a baby, and I was here working late on the show, and I was like, I need some food now. And so I go, and I drive, and all the lights are on.
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Chapter 7: What were the challenges of finding shoes in Madrid?
All the lights. Even the big sign. It's all on. And I go driving to the drive-thru, and you can hear that the drive-thru is on. And I keep saying, hello, hello, hello. Yeah. But no one responds to me. And so then I drive through and all the lights are on. It's like the place was open, but no one ever responded. And there wasn't another car in the parking lot. It's like literally.
It's like a zombie movie. I was going to say, it's like a haunted crystal.
It's like one of those horror movies where the aliens take everybody and you wake up and no one's on Earth anymore. That's what happened. It freaked me out. Two weeks later, closed for renovations. Opening soon. Renovations. The sign occasionally changes, but no crystal. It's not open. And so, I don't know. I guess we lost our crystal over there.
Yeah.
Last night I went to Waffle House.
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Chapter 8: How did the wedding reception differ from American weddings?
I'm leaving the airport on the six and a half mile walk from the gate to my car because now they have a new parking deck that's open. It is much further away from any of the action than anything else. I will say it's more advanced. It tells you where the spaces are available.
It doesn't have like Wi-Fi and stuff and all kinds of... It's got a little park in the middle of it.
Oh, it does. It's got escalators to go up and like in the old parking lot, you'd have to truck your shit up and down stairs. Now it's got escalators you can go on. Big signage everywhere. Like it's a nice new parking lot for sure. It's like Europe. Europe has all these modern parking decks, even the ones that are thousands of years old.
You know, the Romans were parking their fucking horse and buggies. They have the ability to tell you where the open spaces are, a little green light that says this space is available.
Yeah, I like that.
So you don't keep driving endlessly around. With the old parking lot, you just drove endlessly around. But I like the old parking lot in the sense that I knew exactly where to park, even though it's a confusing, confusing situation. I knew exactly where to park to get close to the terminal, close enough to the terminal, where I only had to walk five minutes.
Well, that old one that you're talking about, they're going to demolish it and then rebuild it.
Okay. Yeah. All right. So, you know, 10 years from now when that opens, I'll be looking forward to parking there again. But this new red lot, it's further away. It's got a walkway, but that walkway in and of itself is very long. And then it just dumps you out on the side entrance of the North Terminal, South Terminal, whatever it is. South. Yeah, yeah.
And so now you're at the far opposite end of where security is. That's like a quarter mile walk just from the door to security. I mean, the Atlanta airport is not small. There's nothing small about it. It's huge. And then last night when I get off the fucking plane, we land in B. They're parking us in B. Fine.
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