Chapter 1: What are the new release schedules for The Commercial Break?
Well, happy new year and old anxiety and all that crazy shit you kids say. It's Brian. Just talking to you here from the studio. Getting acclimated to the new schedule. Tuesdays and Thursdays live on youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak. And then you got us rebroadcasting those or publishing those here on the RSS feed every Monday and Wednesday. Subject to change at my discretion.
or my sobriety. I'm not even sure. Whatever. You know what I'm saying. Those of you who have been tuned in know that Monday and Wednesdays are the new release schedules. We're pulling back a little bit, so we're in it for the long haul, so we don't get burnt out too quick. There's only so much energy in this battery, and I got news for you. This battery is getting old. All right.
Here's a TCB classic from the 12 days of TCB. I was going to run the New Year's Eve one we did last year, but you know what? I enjoyed this one much more. It's the love connection episode from the 12 days of TCB, which many people commented on. I'm not sure what they said because I was drunk when I read the text messages, but it seemed to be causing quite a stir. So there you go.
You'll hear Christina in this episode, our former producer. I like hearing her voice. It's fun to go back and listen to all the old shit. So here's a TCB classic. Make sure you follow us at The Commercial Break on Instagram so you can be aware of when we go live on YouTube, Twitch, and Kik. We'd love to see you there. Until next time, Happy New Year. Talk to you next Tuesday, January 6th.
Live TCB. Bye. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. And we're going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kane. Oh, yeah, dancers and prancers, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Donner to my Blitz, and Chris and Joy Hoadley, best to you, Chrissy.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Welcome back to the 12 Days of TCB. Here we are rolling toward Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, the day after Christmas, the day after the day after Christmas. Every fucking day you get a new episode of the commercial break in December. Fear not. Thank you to everybody who has been supporting us, writing in, saying wonderful things about us. I do.
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Chapter 2: What classic episode of Love Connection is being featured?
I do love the reaction.
That is nice. That makes it worth it.
This has been great for the audience, not so good for the three of us here in the room, as we've been nonstop recording. But hey, we'll get a nice break.
We will.
Brian, the beat-em-up boss, will give you guys a break, I promise, real soon.
Yeah, it will be well-deserved.
Oh, man, will it be well-deserved. So, yeah, and everybody has been writing in saying that they're really enjoying the 12 days of TCB. Some people have been so kind as to send screenshots of them donating. I saw a National Breast Cancer Coalition fund or two the other day, a couple ASPCAs, and the St. Jude Foundation seems to be a popular one with everybody. So thank you very much.
Your schwag is on the way. I do promise that. So, Chrissy. How are you feeling? I just want to take a temperature check in the room. How are you feeling?
I'm feeling good. I'm feeling great.
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Chapter 3: How does Brian feel about revisiting old episodes?
You need some tea and honey? I might. We'll get you some tea and honey after this episode. Not letting you go. You got to finish this episode. Man, I'll tell you what.
Don't even say I'm getting a cold. I do not want a cold.
Well, and I already said it, so now you already got it.
No, but don't put that into the ethos.
Chapter 4: What are the benefits of following The Commercial Break on social media?
Oh, God, I put it into the ether. What are we, Teresa Caputo now? What are we going to do? You got to go around, spit twice, spin around, yell in the air? What are you going to do? How do you get rid of a cold? Well, listen, it is that time of year when people do get sick, and you have been coming here, where I have 13 to 15 children, that bring around every fucking disease possible.
One of my kids had this weird... Have you ever heard of Rosalia? Have you heard of this? Rosalia is a very nondescript infection that children get.
It sounds like a flower.
It sounds like a lovely flower. It basically blooms into an extraordinarily high fever with a rash. But adults don't get it, so don't worry. You don't have to worry about it. Or do adults get it? I'm not sure. If you get it, let me know. But my kid was cooking. She was like at 105.7. And so when you touch her, she's hot. So listen to this. This is crazy.
You say 105.7, their brains are burning at that point, but not true with children. Children, they have a lot of malleability in their brains because they're not fully formed yet. So it's a little bit, it's much different actually with a child. If you're at 105.7 as an adult, you're dead. I mean, there's no way your body can take that.
So when my first one was born, about a year, he's a year and a half old, and one night he was sleeping in the bed with Astrid and I, and I rolled over, he was in the middle of us, I rolled over and I touched him, just like put my hand on him, and he was like a tea kettle. That's how hot he was. And I was like, holy shit, you know, he's a fever.
So we get up, we get the thermometer, we take his temperature, he's at 105 something. And we are freaking the fuck out. We're like, oh my God. So we get some cool damp cloths and we give them, you know, Tylenol or Motrin or whatever it is. And we put a call in to the doctor and the doctor says, well, listen, if it goes down, you know, great. If it goes up, go to the hospital.
If it goes down, don't worry about it. Come and see us tomorrow. So we bring him in the next day. And when the doctor takes his temperature, it's at 106. And now so I'm totally freaking out about this. And the doctor is like, don't worry. First, it's our first. Don't worry about it, right? Which is a really hard thing to do as a child. She's like, don't worry about it.
Honestly, sometimes kids go into the 107s, sometimes even the 108s, and it's just their body reacting to an infection. As long as we can bring it down with some kind of medication or, you know, cooling them off in some way, shape, or form, then we don't get worried about it. But I thought to myself, holy shit, you could cook rice at 107. Can you cook rice at 107? What does water boil on?
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence?
The one special poem? The one that I wrote for the Lab of Love.
What did you think of his poetry?
Oh, it was beautiful. It was warm and sensitive.
I'm here with you. I walked through the door. Did you know my penis hits the floor?
He's an excellent poet. Painter and a poet here.
I can't believe it. Okay, so what happened next? Okay, well, we leave there, and we caught something to eat, and then we went back to her place. You caught something to eat?
I know.
This talk's so weird. Yeah. And she invited me in, and I had to get my, I had to let the jacket right there, and it happened to be in her bedroom. Wait, hold on. What happened to the rest of the date?
I know.
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Chapter 6: What happens during the Love Connection episode review?
But then secondly, you can donate a few bucks to one of the causes we've been talking about. St. Jude's Foundation, the National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and the ASPCA. All of these organizations doing wonderful work. Spend a few dollars. Make yourself feel good. It's tax deductible.
Go straight to their website by clicking the link on the show notes. Thank you in advance. All right, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do for now.
I think so.
But I will tell you that I do love you.
And I love you. Best to you. Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Happy holidays. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. If you got a softie in your brain, you're going to have a softie in your pants. You know what I'm saying?
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