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Chapter 1: What updates do Bryan and Krissy share about their podcast schedule?
Hey, thanks for calling into the TCB hotline. Leave your message for Brian after the beep.
You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole! On this episode of The Commercial Break...
Well, I realize that it's been a bit haphazard with the release schedule for the commercial break for the last couple of weeks or maybe even a month. But we told you at the beginning of the year, we're going to take it a little bit easy in 2026 so we don't burn ourselves out. We have the ability to do this well into the future. Well, you assholes couldn't leave well enough alone.
And the second you don't get an episode, the minute you're supposed to get an episode, you text in and you complain. about how I don't have my episode of the commercial break. And we love you so much. And you're such a great podcast. And by the way, we're making you money by listening to your advertising and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Okay. I get it. I get it.
We're a little behind the eight ball, but guess what? Chrissy returns from her three and a half week vacation tomorrow. And that means tomorrow you get a brand new episode of DCB and far into the future as our schedule normalizes tomorrow. Until we decide to take another vacation and all hell breaks loose. Anyway, you're not assholes. I love you. Thank you for listening to the commercial break.
Here's a mountain monsters because you asked for it. Love you. Bye.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Hello. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Oatley. And best to you, Chrissy.
Best to you, Brian.
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Chapter 2: What humorous anecdotes do Bryan and Krissy share about their gym experiences?
Let me get a little taste.
There's an imposter going around.
Oh, man. It went right to the gut. I felt it.
That's brine ass. That's pure brine ass. That's uncut, man. There's no flower petal in there.
Once you have it, you're never going back.
Once you go ass, you never go back. You know, you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and check out the clip called Black Market Farts.
If you want to, you know, we are who we are.
Extra time. Yeah, we are who we are. We're blazing up the charts with all this ridiculousness. So somebody likes it. I don't know who those people are, but somebody likes us. It's our Denmark fans. It is our Denmark fans.
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Chapter 3: How does the conversation shift to the topic of Bob at the gym?
We still have a lot of people that listen to us in Germany, Iran. Iran is a big one. I don't know why people listen to us in Iran. I actually don't think it's Iran. I think that's a VPN. I think is what that is. It's rerouting. Yeah, we've already talked about that. I don't want to give more podcast talk. It's boring to the audience. They're not podcasters. They're listening to a podcast.
Update on Bob at the gym.
Oh, please do. I was wondering.
He actually got I was there yesterday and he was there yesterday and he was doing the same thing. So those who didn't listen to this episode, I went to the gym for the first time in a long time, about a week and a half ago. First time, long time. And there was a guy that came up on one of the machines next to me. He was screaming at himself.
No one's going to tell you how to do it, Bob. You're the best, Bob. Do it, Bob.
You'll show them, Bob. He was literally screaming while using the machine extremely dangerously. He's like wrapping the wire around his neck and yanking it with his neck. This guy was all over the place. So yesterday he was on the free weight, one of the free weight machines, and he must have put like seven plates on there. I mean, you know, like 7,000 pounds or whatever it is.
And he was trying to do a leg press, like a leg pull up, you know, and obviously he wasn't doing it because he had so much weight on him. Now the guy is a bigger guy. He's bigger than I am.
He's going to hurt himself.
He's going to fucking get a, you know, like his anus is going to come out or something.
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Chapter 4: What hilarious insights do they provide about Mountain Monsters?
You're no two-pump chump.
You got three in you. Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it.
Little at a time. Little at a time.
Think about baseball. Think about baseball.
So someone at the gym, someone working at the gym, finally walked over to Bob and said, you got to tone it down. You're going to have to. Yeah, we've had a few complaints. You got to tone it down. Even though no one was complaining because I saw all 12 people in the gym and we were all highly entertained. No one was complaining. We were all having a great time.
We were hoping Bob would not get it for the next 30 minutes.
He took it down a notch. He heard what she said. He wasn't totally crazy, right?
So then he was like...
You could still hear it. And I just thought I was having so much fun. And again, I don't want to videotape him. I'm certainly not going to put it on the commercial break. I don't want it to be... Right now. Yeah. Listen, Bob just has a weird way of working out. I don't know how he got all those muscles when he's doing exercises he clearly can't do.
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Chapter 5: What are the characteristics of the Kentucky Wolfman discussed?
And if you want to pee in a litter box, well, as long as you're not hurting anybody, who the fuck cares? But she said it was an agenda being pushed by, you know, probably Bill Gates. Who knows? Ladies are a fucking whack job. But no, the school principal came out.
Okay.
And they said, I addressed it. She said, in all my years of teaching, I've never had to address something so ridiculous. And it actually makes me sad to let you know that there are not litter boxes anywhere in the school for any reason, let alone the bathrooms. And maybe we have better things to worry about.
And which is what exactly what Christie and I said is that while this woman is preparing her, you know, three minute long speech to the school board every week so that she can, you know, be a right fighter, her children are, Are going unparented.
Yeah.
Why don't you just talk to your kids about that? Do you like pissing in the litter box? Is that what you like to do? Is it, are you hurting anybody with that? Is this a problem? When you go see a therapist? No. Okay. Piss in the litter box. Just clean it up after yourself. Who cares? Scoop it. Yeah. They're playing make-believe. Okay. Scoop it. Fresh scoop.
So anyway, the furry community has now responded. I'd like to let you know. Do you like me to read a little bit of this?
Yes, please.
Members of the furry fantasy subculture tell the Post that they are not wild about this week's viral rumor that a Michigan school put a litter box in one of its bathrooms for the kids to use who identify as cats. As one harried parent put it. Far... Harried parents. Just a moron. You call it like you see it.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to the absurdity of the Mountain Monsters show?
Yeah. I'm not a furry, but I'd go for it. You know, why not? It's a shame that the furry community still endures negative media portrayals and public misconceptions as deviants because the truth of this is remote... because the truth of this remarkable and resilient community is far more interesting and complicated, says Dr. Sharon E. Roberts, an associate professor at the University of Waterloo.
It's Waterloo. This is a joke. Is that a name one? Yeah, it's somewhere. Yes, I think so. I think you're right. I think that in the long run, this kind of attention will help us, however, help us as a community. However, you know, it's ridiculous that people are continuing to stereotype us and push their agendas on our community now.
I won't go through the whole thing, but basically what they said is kind of what we had said, our sentiments, which were these people are just playing make-believe for the most part. Most of these people are playing make-believe. It doesn't hurt anybody in the community. It doesn't harm themselves. They, on weekends, they like to go dress up like putty pats.
Like, right, you know, putty pats or dogs or big stuffed bears or whatever it is. Lions, dragons. Here, I got a picture. Oh, my. Here.
oh you see there you see that there you go go to youtube.com slash the commercial break yeah see you know they like to dress up as all kind of things there's dragons and it's cosplay is what it is basically you know it's cosplay costume play that's what it is and cosplay is not limited to just people who like to dress up like furry animals no it's not And I say to cosplay, God bless you.
If you want to go cosplay, cosplay. You want to dress up for Harry Potter movie? Dress up for Harry Potter movie. Yeah. There are plenty of adults who dress up for Star Trek and Star Wars and all this other shit. The truth is that it's like deadheads or fish heads. Yeah. Or commercial break fans. Besties. Besties.
You identify with a group of people, and usually there's a lot of love in that community because everyone has something that they enjoy together. Exactly. And while we all may have fun at cosplay's expense sometimes, you know, listen, lots of people have fun at my expense too.
Comic-Con is huge here.
Yeah, Comic-Con is huge here, and everybody dresses up. And not just 13-year-olds.
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Chapter 7: What comedic moments arise during the investigation of the Wolfman?
I don't get demonizing them. No. For your own political purposes. It's so stupid. There are full-grown men who chase monsters out there, Hodley.
Oh, there are.
Full-grown men who chase make-believe monsters.
I'm getting very excited. I'm getting very excited.
I was trolling on the internet.
Yes, as you do.
As I do. And I know that it's been a while. It's been a long break. Lots of people were upset that we were gone for so long. I don't know who those people are. I just pretend in my head they're all upset, right? Yes, up in arms. You know, we're high on the charts now, Hoda. We got a reputation to uphold. You don't see Basement Yard covering this kind of topic.
We, last year, did a wildly popular segment on Monster Hunters. We did actually three. Yeah, it's really good. It was a lot of fun going through this.
I mean, these guys are just, I mean, perfect for TV.
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Chapter 8: What conclusions do they draw about the nature of the Wolfman sightings?
Yeah, there was a nest. They've had a nest. Bigfoot was watching TV in one of the plays. Remember that?
It was a Bigfoot nest, too.
A Bigfoot nest. So we've had lots of fun with this. We've done probably three episodes. You can go back and watch on season number two. But we had so much fun that I thought we'd revisit it. I love it. Now that we have the ability to not only listen, but to allow everybody to watch this. So this is the very first episode of Monster Hunters. Oh, this is the very first.
The very first episode of Monster Hunters.
We went back to the first one of Frankie.
I'm going back. We went to the first dating one of Frankie, which aired last week or the week before. His nice crotch. That's the most awful video I've ever seen in my entire life. But that's just, that's early Frankie.
That's early Frankie.
Even the Velvet Underground sounded real bad when they got together. But look how that turned out. They're not working at laundromats somewhere. Okay. Now, I'd like to present to you. Let's get the full reaction hotshot. Remember, let me remind you, youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak if you want to watch as well as hear. But for the podcast's sake, we're going to now listen to Monster Hunters.
There it is right there. Are you ready for this?
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