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The Commercial Break

We're All Getting Wet

09 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the challenges of maintaining a pool?

8.485 - 35.792 Brian Graham

this episode of the commercial break and there is a dad there and he's got two children and he's got his children in the showers and he's giving them a full shower he's got a bar of soap shampoo a conditioner and a toothbrush and he's telling them to take a full that's not the intended use of the shower right it's not it's not to it's not to replace the shower at your home it's just a rinse off it's a spritz if you don't mind right

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35.772 - 39.437 Brian Graham

I mean, I could even go with, okay, shampoo. All right. Okay. You know.

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39.517 - 41.7 Unknown

Yeah. Well, maybe they were going somewhere afterwards.

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41.801 - 42.942 Brian Graham

Maybe. Maybe.

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42.962 - 43.944 Unknown

And they needed to be like.

Chapter 2: How can you effectively deal with pool algae?

43.964 - 53.858 Brian Graham

These didn't look like the kind of people would be invited anywhere. But okay. All right. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Where are you invited to? How did you get invited somewhere?

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54.899 - 59.586 Unknown

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

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62.013 - 68.376 Brian Graham

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Graham. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley.

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Chapter 3: What are the common pool maintenance mistakes?

68.396 - 69.379 Brian Graham

Best to you, Kristen.

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69.399 - 69.861 Unknown

Best to you, Brian.

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69.881 - 76.002 Brian Graham

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. Update on the pool. The algae is winning.

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77.043 - 79.247 Unknown

That's the first thing I asked today when I saw you out in the pool.

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79.267 - 84.877 Brian Graham

The algae is winning. It was bright blue yesterday, and it's turning back a little murky.

Chapter 4: Why is showering after swimming important?

84.897 - 95.935 Brian Graham

I think for an hour there yesterday, like right before the sun went down, it almost looked clear. It almost looked clear. In the right light. Yeah, I know. In the right light, like no light.

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95.915 - 98.94 Unknown

After the sun went down, it looked great.

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99.461 - 104.609 Brian Graham

Yeah, it looked great. That's where it goes. I think it looks better. And I'm like, it does.

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Chapter 5: What are the social norms around public showers?

104.929 - 122.649 Brian Graham

It does. And then I woke up this morning and I'm like, ah. I was explaining to Chrissy that the truth is that, you know, if you have any algae in your pool, any green in your pool on the walls or anywhere, really, it means there's not enough. There's not enough chlorine to fight the algae, so the algae is winning the battle already. You can't just have a little spot of algae you can clean up.

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123.11 - 129.111 Brian Graham

You've got to shock the whole thing. So there we go. Brian's back at Home Depot buying more acidic chemicals.

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130.272 - 134.882 Unknown

Are you part of their rewards program?

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134.982 - 136.446 Brian Graham

Yeah, damn.

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Chapter 6: How do water parks handle cleanliness and safety?

136.466 - 155.602 Brian Graham

Sure. I'm the only one who buys stuff at the pool section at Home Depot. They've had the same fucking chemicals there for 12 years. I swear to God they have. No one buys chemicals at Home Depot. Except for Brian. Because I just don't want to go into that pool place again. That guy fucking screwed me last time. I mean, I really spent a lot of money trying to get the pool straight.

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155.983 - 158.547 Brian Graham

And he sent it in one direction, then he sent it in the other direction.

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Chapter 7: What experiences can you expect at Great Wolf Lodge?

158.567 - 162.514 Brian Graham

Then I had to call the professionals to clean it up, which is exactly what will happen this time, too.

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162.754 - 162.995 Unknown

Right.

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163.235 - 182.615 Brian Graham

But at least I'll be like $150 in instead of like $1,250 in. Yeah. So, you know, I'm going to get it right one of these days. You'd think after 10 years of owning this pool, I would have figured it the fuck out. But I have not at all figured out how to keep those chemicals in balance. But there's also salt because there's a salt cell on it.

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182.655 - 187.3 Brian Graham

So then you got to, you know, the salt turns into chlorine. So you got to know how much salt equals chlorine.

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Chapter 8: How do amusement parks manage crowd control and safety?

187.381 - 200.247 Brian Graham

But then is your salt cell working? Is it working effectively? I don't know. I don't know all this. Yeah. One simple piece of the puzzle, I can probably figure it out. Multiple moving parts at the same time.

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200.267 - 201.81 Kristen Joy Hoadley

Right. That's difficult. No, it's a lot.

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202.01 - 203.412 Brian Graham

Yeah, I admire those pool guys.

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203.432 - 203.812 Kristen Joy Hoadley

It's a whole dance.

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203.913 - 218.413 Brian Graham

Yeah. I admire those 27-something stoners who spend their entire weeknight drinking at the shadiest bar you've ever been to and then wake up in the morning and drag themselves from pool to pool helping people.

218.393 - 241.768 Brian Graham

you know have a good time and it's almost guaranteed they do not have a pool so they're just figuring it out as they go along too true there must be like an apprenticeship program that these pool guys have right like you know daddy pool teaches junior pool it must be yeah because i mean come to think of it i don't think i've ever seen like learn how to clean a pool no like courses no

244.06 - 245.203 Unknown

Or school for pools.

245.483 - 262.744 Brian Graham

Yeah, school for pools would be a good thing. But there's plenty of guys and girls out there who are making good money cleaning pools. I mean, it's not cheap to get a pool person to come out there every week and maintain your pool for you. And that's just a pool in the backyard. Imagine all those. There's a community pool here. It's probably three times the size of my pool. My pool is pretty big.

263.163 - 280.099 Brian Graham

It might be full Olympic size. And I watch them go through the machinations also because I take my daughters and my son up to these community activities in the pools right in the middle of the park. And so when they're in the activities, I'll go walk around and take a phone call or just whatever, just dick around. Try not to look creepy.

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