Chapter 1: What is white people culture according to the hosts?
straightened up my life this heat wave made me realize i can't go to hell on this episode of the commercial break
I'm coming down to North Florida to have sex with Matt. He's been part of the North Florida community for four months. And he's really tapped in. For four months. He's really tapped in to all the sun, fun, and sand. Surf culture. We came to the local margaritaville to check out the local culture.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
a commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I'm just reading about the Haktua girl. Yes. Haktua.
Yep. Haktua. What?
It's still playing. Oh, it's still playing. On your phone. Okay, sorry. I was going to play it for everybody. Okay, I'll see if I can get it up here. But this girl, for those of you that don't know, here's the interview. Okay. And I'm going to play this. She's all over the socials. This is Tim and Dee TV. She's all over the socials.
If you haven't heard this interview yet, let me play a little bit for you. I'll turn down the annoying music in the background. I'll turn down the obnoxious music in the background. Here she is.
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Chapter 2: How does the 'Hawk Tuah Girl' incident reflect modern culture?
I don't know. So I can get your number? Yeah, you can. Okay. There you go. You got it.
There you go. So I'll explain in a second. Here we go.
You got to make it good. Leave a message to your last body. My last body? Yeah. I miss you. Come back. You miss him. Yeah, pretty much. You're doing his little thing.
I can't.
Hold on. Let's get to the Hak Tua girl.
Yeah, I know. I can't. That's like the whole interview. Here she comes. Hold on. Leave a message to your last body.
I love you, Pookie.
This is the Hawk Tour girl.
They must have been doing the right thing. What can I say?
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Chapter 3: What happened during the Lake Lanier incident?
What's on their roster? Is it Michael Anthony-like? Is it 17? Or is it one? Or is it zero? One of them says one or zero. And then the other one says, I don't know, four, seven, who knows? And then he goes, no, seriously, how many are on there? Four. Okay. Whatever. Cool. And then he starts asking questions like, you know, what do you do?
What's a good thing for a man that drives him wild? And she yells, hock to it.
She yells, hock to it, like she's spitting a loogie.
And then she says, spit on that thing.
Yeah, spit on that thing. So millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of views later. Now everybody has an opinion on the Haktua girl.
Oh, yeah, everybody.
She's got the last laugh, and I'll share with you why. She just sold in just a couple of days $65,000 worth of hats that have the word Haktua on it. And she partnered with a company, Fathead, I think is who she partnered with. She partnered with Fathead. They made a hat that said Haktua, a couple different versions of the hat. She signed some of them.
Yeah, merch. Merch. She's doing crazy merch. Well, she got fired from her teaching job.
I would imagine that would be the case. Yeah. She got fired from her teaching job. I mean, it's not the most flattering interview ever, but God bless America. Yeah. Wow. I know. You get famous for saying haktua and make $65,000. I'm sure you have to split that in some way, shape, or form. But okay, let's say you made half. $32,500. You made $32,500?
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Chapter 4: How is Florida culture represented in Margaritaville?
And, you know, the fastest comer contest, who had the most poop. I mean, like the amazing amount of crass and incredibly politically correct stunts that they have done over the years. And Howard has encouraged or in some way done over the years. And then the hot to a girl gets him. The hot tour girl got you, Howard? That's what changed your mind? Really?
I mean, listen, the king, he's the king, you know? I think the whole podcast industry may have, Howard may have had some influence and responsibility for the whole podcast industry because he just was one who started talking for hours and hours in a way that wasn't political or had to do with Jesus or whatever the AM stations were doing. He really made this brand of kind of,
Media, popular, this talking forever, this incessant nonsense that we do here on this commercial break, in some way, shape, or form, probably finds its roots in Howard. And he was as rowdy as it gets, and especially when he got to Sirius Satellite. And now the Hak'tuwa girl is bothering him. That's the most surprising thing about the Hak'tuwa girl to me, is that Howard Stern is against it.
Yeah, that broke the back. Unbelievable.
Yeah, but as a father of daughters, I do have to say, if that was my daughter, I would be like, honey, honey, that's going to live on the internet forever. You don't do the man on the street interview when you're drunk.
Or if that's your mom 10 years from now that was the hock to a girl.
Oh, God. True story. Thank God there were not cameras in every person's hand when you and I were teenagers. Thank God. Because I certainly would have been unemployable. I still am.
Yeah, we both are now.
I certainly would have been unemployable. And how much shenanigans would have been caught on camera if a camera was around.
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Chapter 5: What role does Vanna White play in the Wheel of Fortune?
Because you only get the moment. Because next week it's going to be something different.
Oh, next week it's something totally different. I wish that I could just get the actual Hawk 2. Hold on one second. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. Every time a reel plays, a fairy gets her spitty dick.
yeah hey listen cool sweet you know I wonder which but I read also that some people started to speculate that she had like now she had a big time agent at UTA or WAME or one of these big agencies out there that apparently is not true what I just read is that it's not true she's not being represented but there are people speculating out there that she could get like Hollywood could come a knocking I could eat Hollywood Hollywood let's let's not go that far
What? The latest documentary on Hulu?
Yeah, exactly. The Rise and the Fall of Hak Tua Girl. Or let's put it another way. Real Housewives of Hak Tua. I think that's more like it. I could see a reality show where they just follow this girl around and she goes from bar to bar giving advice.
Oh, well, they do a reality show for anything.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's possible. Speaking of reality shows. Okay, so Hawk to a Girl. Check it out. Maybe Christina could put a link to the video. And good for her. You know what? I have no problems with it. None problems with it. Because we talk a lot worse in the worst of our episodes. Like in the lamest of our episodes, we say things that are ten times the worst.
Speaking of reality show, it's very interesting. There is a lady here in Atlanta who, Just north of Atlanta. Speaking of Lake Lanier. Remember we talked about Lake Life, Lake Lanier. It's a huge lake. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of different sections. Some are more redneck-y. Some are more ritzy. Some are just somewhere in between. Some are pure Ibiza. It's true. Like the Mississippi Ibiza.
You know what I'm saying? Like the Louisiana Ibiza. It's just, you know, there's a Margaritaville that's about 78 acres here at Lake Lanier. That should tell you all you need to know about Lake Lanier. But it's a lot of fun. And I had my Lake Lanier moment. I did, too. I think if you live in Atlanta, you've got a Lake Lanier. You just do it.
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Chapter 6: How does Ryan Seacrest's involvement change the show?
It's huge. There's so many sections, too.
And it's a man-made lake. It was made by the Army Corps of Engineers. They dammed the river, the Chattahoochee River, I think. They dammed the Chattahoochee River and just covered up whole towns that were under the lake. And they're still there to this day. They're still sitting in stasis, essentially, out there today. Ooh. Spooky. Take a walk. Take a walk. Put it there. Boobie. Bam! Lake Lanier.
Wa-bam! String bikinis and gummy boob jobs. And a little bit of cocaine. And an ayahuasca trip or two. And wa-bam! 60-year-old women.
Acting like teenagers. Jägermeister.
Jägerbombs. Ooh, it's quantum science. Makes you drunk 2.7 times faster. Your heart will race, but you'll feel like you want to puke. It's amazing. Jaeger bombs make the G-strings come off. Definitely the top. Oh, yeah. Top song. The chi-chi's out. What is it? Chi-chi's up? But don't get it twisted. The guys are just as dumb. Oh, yeah. Doing – yeah. How do I know? I was one of them. Okay.
There we go. So I read this very interesting story the other day. It's very interesting, kind of sad actually. And so I'll share the lighthearted part about this and we'll get into how this has to do with reality television. The – Cherokee or whatever county police officers get a phone call to do a welfare check on an older lady, like a lady in her 80s. They go up toward the lake.
They're at a campground. They find this old lady. She's in some kind of state of disarray. And there's other people with her, a man and a woman. And the lady is apparently in some kind of shape and the officers say, well, you know, are you okay? Do you want us to take you somewhere? Do you want us to do something?
And she says, no, or the, excuse me, the lady who is with her says, no, I'm her daughter. I'll take care of it. We're going to take her back to the house.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of Vanna White's salary in comparison to Pat Sajak's?
Fast forward to two days later, they come back because someone has complained about someone screaming from a tent. And they find this older lady tied up, tied up, sitting in her own urine in a tent. It's 900 degrees here in Atlanta, sitting in a tent near the lake. And apparently the woman, her daughter, had put her in the tent and tied her up and left her.
Wow.
Crazy, terrible story, right? You know, elderly abuse and all the other stuff that you can think of. So Brian decides he's going to, I decide, I'm not going to talk to the third person. I decide I'm going to go do a little internet rabbit hole on this one. Let me see who this lady is. Maybe we know her, right? She's older than us, but not by a ton, you know? And I'm like, maybe we know her.
She looks familiar to me. Her face looks familiar. Let me do a hunt on her name. And so when I search her name, I find out that, yes, we have interacted with this lady before. I don't know where. The older lady? No, the daughter. The daughter. Yeah, I don't know where, I don't know how, and I'm not going to share her name here or on here because I don't want doxing or any of that other bullshit.
And it's until proven guilty, though it looks pretty terrible. And when I hit on her website, she is the founder of this media company. The media company has put together a... reality show, I guess is the best way to put it. This lady is going to go all around the country and she's going to talk to people about what makes America great. Get it? Got it? Good.
So there's like four episodes that she's had slickly produced. I mean like very high production values, slickly produced. I have never seen someone so terrible on camera in my entire life. This lady is a stiff plastic board. The things that she says like in the interludes and in the interviews and all this, it is Chrissy. It is so fucking funny to me.
And I'm thinking to myself, where in the world did this reality television show or this whatever you call it, adventure show, where in the world was this shown? Because it says, you know, now available on this particular dot TV. I thought to myself, what is that? Like, I have lots of channels on my television. I've never seen that channel, right? Or maybe I just haven't paid attention to it.
It's not a channel. It's not dot TV. It's dot her own website. She basically is running this on her own website. And I thought to myself, what a desperate attempt. You spend all of this money to put out a reality show. And listen, I know this happens on a daily basis that people put together television shows that never get picked up by anybody. Yeah.
But there's reasons why this television show was never picked up by anybody. It is terrible from top to bottom. Do you want to hear a little bit of it? Sure. You want to hear a little bit of it? Okay, let's do this. Why don't we take a break and then I'll load it up here. And then you and I can take a listen to the first episode and we'll just break it down just a little bit.
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Chapter 8: What future changes are anticipated for the Wheel of Fortune?
Maybe we don't. We'll figure it out. Okay, let's take a break and we'll be back.
Hi. No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait. And now look how happy you are. I know. I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at The Commercial Break. Seriously, please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg. So just follow us on Instagram.
Again, that's at The Commercial Break. You can also follow us on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is tcbpodcast.com, baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. And that's a win. 212-433-3TCB. Love you. Bye.
Okay, here we go. We're talking about, so there was a terrible incident up at Lake Lanier. I googled one of the women that was involved in this incident because I thought that she looked familiar to me. And I do believe we have met this person before.
When I got to the website where I had more information about her, it showed this like paid for reality television show that this person had put together. And let's take a little... Let's take a little gander at what probably $200,000 gets you. You ready? Yeah. All right. Let's see here. Lots of pictures of her. Lots of pictures of her at the beach.
I think that's just an excuse to go down to the beach and film something. Jimmy's hula's. Jimmy's hula's. Where's that? I don't know. Somewhere down in Florida, I'm sure. Fabric of America. Fabric of America. You hear like an eagle screaming in the background?
I'm here in beautiful Florida. Sun, fun, the endless summer. Sun, fun, the endless summer.
Oh, God, her voice already. Yeah.
That's three seasons of this. Experience in beach time, adventure in R&R. I'm going to ring nut by hanging out in the local habitat.
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