Celebrate the second coming of President Donald J. Trump with Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team as they recap everything Trump has done in his first 100 days back in the White House. From Inauguration Day to naming the Gulf of America to his ham-fisted approach to international conflicts, this is Part 1 of Trump's second term (so far).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What happened during Trump's second inauguration day?
You're listening to Comedy Central. Donald J. Trump, the 45th president of the United States, a man whose licentious and felonious behavior has been well cataloged and documented, returned to the capital rotunda just four short years after inspiring, in that very place, a day of riotous shick f***. return to the exact same room.
Now, generally, if this were a Dateline documentary, he would return to that room to express a form of repentance and maturity and acknowledgement of the pain that had been wrought on that terrible day. But in this show that we're filming now, it's to be sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. And as with most returning to the scene of the crime,
It began with tea with the people you tried to steal it from.
A short time ago, President Joe Biden greeted Mr. and Mrs. Trump at the White House for tea, an inaugural tradition.
It's always important to keep up the tea tradition when you hand over the keys to, I'm sorry, what did you call them? Hitler. But gotta be a good host. Hey, the Wi-Fi password is White House, but I changed the I to a one. I hope that's not weird.
I'm not saying Biden should have done his own insurrection, but there's gotta be a happy medium between storming the Capitol and would you like a crumpet? Then it was time for the swearing in on the kind of on the Bible. Yes, it turns out Trump didn't actually put his hand on the Bible. Obviously, because one or the other would burst into flames. Perhaps both.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, the torch has been passed from Biden to Trump. Yes, the torch has been passed to the same generation of Americans. Let's hear from the 47th president, fresh off the warm embrace of a tea ceremony with his predecessor.
My recent election is a mandate to completely and totally reverse a horrible betrayal and all of these many betrayals that have taken place.
Yes, the inaugural speech followed the American tradition of a passive-aggressive transfer of power. The incoming president gets to completely shit on the outgoing president in front of that president and hopefully his spouse.
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Chapter 2: How did Trump and Biden handle the transfer of power?
Would a Russian oligarch be eligible for a gold card?
Yeah, possibly. Hey, I know some Russian oligarchs that are very nice people. It's possible.
It seems like Trump watched Anora and his takeaway from that movie was, we need to do more to help out that rich Russian teenager. He's so good at sex. But if you're letting Russians come into the country, you've got to be careful, OK? I don't want to engage in stereotypes.
But if you let a Russian in, then there's going to be a smaller Russian inside of him, and then an even smaller Russian inside of him, and on and on and on. There's always another.
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