TDS Time Machine | Iran: Behind the Veil w/ Jason Jones

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 36 min 5 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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Unknown 0:00
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Jon Stewart 0:27
Last week we sent our own senior foreign correspondent, Jason Jones, to Iran. Really, we did that? That was stupid. Obviously, we didn't know there was going to be a dictatorial and somewhat violent crackdown on its people. Now, Mr. Jones did get out of Iran before the election, from what we've been told. But we believe the reports he will be filing starting tonight present an interesting snapshot of a nation unaware of the destiny which awaits it. Tonight, the first of Jason Jones' reports. The Islamic Republic of Iran, a nation in upheaval, a powder keg waiting to explode. But as we empathize with these courageous souls who are risking their lives to take a stand for democracy in the face of oppression, let us not forget, these people are evil.
Jon Stewart 1:21
But just what is it that makes them so evil? I hadn't signed up for Twitter, so the only way to find out was to go and see for myself.
Jon Stewart 1:41
As I touched down at Khomeini Airport on my 36th birthday, I was completely alone. No American embassy, no alcohol, not even exposed ankles to Lirat.
Unknown 1:52
I have a wife and children. Please don't hurt me.
Jon Stewart 1:57
Even leaving the hotel presented potential risk. Red wire, blue wire.
Jon Stewart 2:10
But I assured my producer, Tim Greenberg, that as long as he was with me, there was nothing to fear. First up, I made contact with my translator, Mahmoud. We headed to a coffee shop off Azadi Square for a clandestine meeting with Iranian journalist, Maziar Bahari. I was told he'd go by the code name, Pistachio, and I would recognize him by... Oh. I didn't see you there. I asked him the question on every Westerner's mind. Why was his country so terrifying?

What motivated Jason Jones to visit Iran in 2009?

Jon Stewart 2:42
In one word, misunderstanding. The two sides, they don't understand each other. They don't know the values of the other side. They don't know how to talk to the other side. And actually, I've written about that for Newsweek magazine several times. Yeah, I didn't understand a word of that. Mahmoud, can you translate this for me, please?
Jason Jones 2:59
Yes, he's saying that he's written about this problem that you have in Newsweek magazine and you can read about it.
Jon Stewart 3:07
Okay. What did he say? He said that I said I've written about it for Newsweek magazine several times. I'm going to need someone who speaks English. The one thing I could understand was that this entire country is evil. The first thing to know about Iran is that it's not evil. Iranians and Americans, they have much more in common than they have... Difference what do I have in common with you who is number one enemy of the United States al Qaeda al Qaeda is also the number one enemy of Iran according to al Qaeda members any Shia any Iranian has to be killed and if you kill an Iranian you would go to heaven and you will have 72 virgins. Enough of his Western educated Newsweek doublespeak the real seething anger was on the streets.
Jason Jones 3:55
American people are nice people.
Jon Stewart 3:57
Yeah, I like America.
Ebrahim Yazdi 3:58
The people are really friendly, very good. Very good people.
Jason Jones 4:02
I like the people. I have friends in America.
Jon Stewart 4:04
A less well-trained I might not see through their deceptions. So when did you start hating Americans? To hating Americans?
Ebrahim Yazdi 4:12
What do you mean? Hated?
Jon Stewart 4:15
Never. No, no, we never hate them. We're just trying to do a thing here where we say Iranians hate Americans. Can you just do that for me?
Ebrahim Yazdi 4:24
You would like me to hate too? Yeah, could you?
Jason Jones 4:27
To hate?
Jon Stewart 4:28
Yeah, please. No. Why not?
Jason Jones 4:31
I'm not hate of Americans.
Jon Stewart 4:34
Cut the snot on him. Apparently, they didn't feel free to express their hatred for us in public. So Mahmoud secured an invitation to a private Iranian home.
Unknown 4:44
Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi. How are you?
Jon Stewart 4:48
I'm well, thank you. Oh. You have a beautiful cave.
Unknown 4:54
Thank you.
Jon Stewart 4:55
If I could just earn their trust, I could finally pierce this clannish society and expose their true feelings. Our meeting began with traditional small talk.
Jon Stewart 5:13
It was clear that I was going to have to break the ice. So, what did one Jewish bird say to the other Jewish bird?

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