TDS Time Machines | New York Mayors, and Their Scandals

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 41 min 5 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Britt Lower 0:01
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Jon Stewart 0:17
My guest tonight, a best-selling author and the former mayor of our own New York City, please welcome Rudolph Giuliani. Sir, come on out! Good to see you. I'm very good, thank you. You're looking great. So this is it. It's settled. It's Bush v. Kerry. Are the juices starting to flow now? Are you getting into campaign mode? Yes, absolutely. What do you think your role will be? Do you think you'll be on the stump? What is the stump? I'm not even sure I know. I hope that.

Which former NYC mayor opens the episode with a campaign-style interview?

Jon Stewart 0:45
That sounds like it hurts or something. It is. It's a small log that politicians are, the last one to jump off wins immunity. I think I'll be campaigning. I think I'll be campaigning for the president. Sure, I've done it already. I've campaigned in a number of places. I was in Iowa, New Hampshire. I was in, when I went to Iowa. Well, you're doing great because he's sweeping the primaries. We did very well in Iowa. Very well. We did very well in Iowa. We did very well in New Hampshire. We haven't lost a primary yet. Do you expect this to be, you know, people keep talking about this is going to be a rough one. This is going to be a, both sides are going to start sniffing each other.
Is this one going to be a wild one?
Jon Stewart 1:19
Sure, they already started. I mean, it's been months and months of, the whole Democratic primary was who can, bash the president the most. I mean, it was sort of like the focus of it. So I think it's going to be, it's going to be pretty tough, yeah. Right. You think when it, because it's when it's down to one guy. It always seems like the candidate tries to avoid besmirching himself with any attacks. He has to send out the other folks. If they say to you, Mr. Giuliani, I'm afraid we're going to have to send you out to knock him down a peg. Just one of those. kind, nice, gentle people. I never, you know, get involved in stuff like that. You're a sweetheart. It's lovely. I'm so young. I have to ask you this.
Jon Stewart 1:52
Now, there are rumors that you would actually make for a powerful running mate with the president right now in place of the fellow who's there now, who we all know is actually a cyborg. LAUGHTER That's terrible. No, this is, you didn't know that? No, he was built in a small lab. That's the bunker. No, but they talk about, they've talked about, even if it's not true, it must be very flattering to be considered for this. It actually, it isn't. Because I'm a big supporter of Vice President Cheney. He's a good friend of mine and I'm a big supporter of his. Yes, I've known him for 25 years. Really? He gave me the best lecture I ever got on how to be a chief of staff, so, and I think he's been a great vice president.
Jon Stewart 2:36
Then tell me, help me, because I want, I want to... You want to get to meet him? You want to see him on the show? That I don't think will happen, but I want, I want to feel his humanity, and yet I can't, you know, I hear so much about the, like, caged duck hunt, like, these crazy stories, and then he talks and he's always got that, well, we gotta go in there and we gotta get these guys, you know. Is there another side to him behind the curtain that you see? There's another side to all of us than the public side to us. Some of the ways I was depicted when I was the mayor, I used to cry when I saw myself on television. Is that true? No, it's not true.
I knew it! I knew that wasn't true! I knew you were kidding!
Jon Stewart 3:18
Yeah, he's a very... He's very, very smart, very experienced, helped the country get through the Persian Gulf War back in the early 90s. I mean, this is a man of tremendous experience. Right. And somebody that... You believe in this team. You truly do. This is not a chore for you.
This is not a party affiliation thing.
Jon Stewart 3:35
Absolutely not. You do believe in these guys. I believed in the team before, September 11, 2001. And from that day on... My admiration for how they dealt with the worst attack in the history of this country has only grown. Boy, that's a tough one to make a joke with. Son of a gun. Now, when you look at, do you know Senator Kerry at all? Not well, but yeah, I do know him somewhat.

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