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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

This Week's News | Jon Stewart on Trump's Tariff Tirade & Desi Lydic on the Gory State of the Union

28 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are Jon Stewart's thoughts on Trump's tariffs and their implications?

0.031 - 8.883 Unknown

This episode is brought to you by Ninja Luxe Cafe, the three-in-one machine that makes espresso, drip coffee, and cold brew. No barista skills required.

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10.265 - 33.646 Jon Stewart

You're listening to Comedy Central. Let's get to the big news of the week. As you know, tomorrow night is President Donald Jar Jar Trump's big State of the Union speech. But no matter what Trump says, folks... It's not going to change how we in this country are feeling. This country is in such emotional turmoil right now.

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34.448 - 56.278 Jon Stewart

The government sanctioned and executed violence in Minnesota, the rank corruption and profiteering of elected officials and their families, the manufactured outrage over, God forbid, an American performing at halftime in the Super Bowl in Spanish. It's a feeling that we are one nation divided under siege, that perhaps we've crossed a Rubicon

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56.697 - 102.837 Jon Stewart

this great American experiment, and that we slowly and inexorably are sliding into the abyss of fallen and broken democracies. But then... We're back, motherf***er! I know the powerful elites remain unaccountable, but he put the thing behind that other guy. This country was sinking into us, that's all we can recover from, but the vulcanized rubber disc went past the lord of the net.

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105.5 - 140.95 Jon Stewart

It was so unifying. There is nothing that can take away from the joyous moment as all Americans celebrate this incredible... Wait, what the f***? Is that FBI Director Kash Patel? Why is our FBI... And why are they putting a medal around the neck of FBI Director... Is Kash Patel a make-a-wish? Man?

Chapter 2: How does Desi Lydic critique RFK Jr.'s workout video with Kid Rock?

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141.07 - 171.026 Jon Stewart

Is that what this is? How did, why is that? I mean, listen, I'm not, and I'm not trying to diminish his condition. It is, listen. Listen, there is currently no cure for crazy eyes. Crazy eyes. for when you want to turn every picture into some sort of meth-fueled mugshot.

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Chapter 3: What highlights did Desi Lydic cover from the State of the Union address?

171.046 - 180.225 Jon Stewart

Are you telling me I was going 90 in a 35? But I got to tell you, MAGA especially is going crazy for the victory.

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180.705 - 187.074 Unknown

American pride, power, and patriotism on full display.

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187.114 - 190.439 Jon Stewart

This is time for America, not you whining little clowns.

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190.579 - 201.133 Desi Lydic

Masculinity and celebration, these are things that have been completely and totally sanitized from our arch-feminist culture, our estrogenetic culture.

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209.45 - 215.078 Jon Stewart

First of all, what a super weird year hockey is having.

Chapter 4: What is the latest fallout from the Epstein files discussed by Desi Lydic?

217.681 - 249.556 Jon Stewart

Like, in four months to go from nobody gives a shit about hockey to, well, I like to watch them f***. Two, only hockey can save us from a dystopian, extrogenetic future. Perhaps the strangest part is how this victory in a hockey match is being perceived on the right geopolitically.

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250.116 - 261.106 Unknown

Got to go all the way back to 1980 when we defeated the Soviets. This felt just as sweet because I guess since we don't have Russia to kick around anymore, Canada will do. They're practically communist and they're cozying up to the Chinese.

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261.126 - 287.842 Jon Stewart

Yeah, hockey is all that they have. And we took that away. That's all they got. What's with the sore winning? Why are we such dicks? And by the way, Don't we in America have enough real enemies? Now we gotta pretend like Canada's way of life is incongruous to the West? Yeah, those completely best neighbors our nation has ever had.

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289.805 - 315.9 Jon Stewart

I think we had like a little fight about beaver pelts in like 1789. Since then, smooth sailing. We have defeated our, new enemy Canada on the ice and vanquish them to the penalty box of history. Now America can live in a golden era of peace and prosperity.

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316.421 - 318.823 Unknown

The United States could be on the brink of war with Iran.

319.344 - 343.109 Jon Stewart

What the f***? They don't even skate. What possible conflict could we have with people in street shoes? Is this real? The drumbeat of a possible war with Iran growing louder. The largest assembly of U.S. forces in the Middle East that we've seen in years.

343.29 - 346.595 Unknown

One report is saying we are days away from strikes.

347.257 - 378.82 Jon Stewart

Days away from war. Usually when we get in a war in the Middle East, there's a Marty Supreme-level press rollout. Months and months of endless promotion, interviews, manufactured intelligence. They got weapons of mass destruction. Swap! Until finally, we acquiesce to the war just in the hopes that the selling of it will stop. Because it seems vaguely charming.

Chapter 5: How does Jon Stewart explain the political climate surrounding Trump's tariffs?

378.84 - 410.791 Jon Stewart

But this war, one day it's nothing, and the next day we filled their waterway with giant ships. Why? What's the urgency? Special Envoy Steve Witkoff has this warning about Iran's nuclear power. They're probably a week away from having industrial-grade bomb-making material. Oh, my God. An atomic bomb by Monday? Oh shit, when was this interview taped? Do they already have the bomb?

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410.811 - 414.376 Jon Stewart

Is it five business days to the bomb?

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Chapter 6: What are the implications of Trump's tariffs being deemed unconstitutional?

414.396 - 451.097 Jon Stewart

Do Muslims get weekends? Do they work through? I gotta say, a week away from having the material for a nuclear bomb, I'm a little surprised to hear that. You know, I thought I remembered someone saying something about that nation's nuclear program being... What was the word I was looking for? Iran's key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated. That's right.

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451.277 - 489.52 Jon Stewart

I remember Trump saying, we totally obliterated their nuclear program and yelling at people who questioned it, which makes me wonder. How obliterated was it? It was obliterated like nobody's ever seen before. So the kind of obliteration that somehow re-bliterates? Almost immediately? Yes, no one has ever seen that before. We obliterated that building. The building we are currently standing on?

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490.941 - 501.831 Jon Stewart

Yes, that is correct. So is our plan now to re-obliterate their nuclear program every few months? Or is there a longer-term strategy?

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502.351 - 511.667 Unknown

Taking the armada to offshore Iran is to put pressure on Iran, first and foremost, to come to the table to negotiate around nuclear weapons.

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512.929 - 515.093 Jon Stewart

Oh, I see. The old carrot and stick.

Chapter 7: How does Desi Lydic connect the State of the Union to current events?

516.17 - 549.062 Jon Stewart

Our peace through strength will force Iran to make, let's call it an Iran nuclear deal. I think I remember that phrase from when we made a nuclear deal with Iran. I am announcing today that the United States will withdraw from the Iran nuclear deal. Oh, right, Trump obliterated it.

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549.97 - 568.755 Jon Stewart

So just to be clear, Donald Trump is on the brink of war with Iran to either obliterate the program Trump had previously obliterated or to force them into signing a deal like the one Trump had pulled out of. It's all in Chapter 9 of Art of the Deal, Eating Your Own Asshole.

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578.135 - 581.28 Unknown

USA. USA. USA.

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585.646 - 611.759 Jon Stewart

Is that how Hitler started? USA. And suddenly people are just like, USA. USA. But obviously there is no more solemn segue into more serious. But obviously... There is no more solemn responsibility for the president of the United States than the decision he makes to put Americans in harm's way through armed conflict.

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612.68 - 624.95 Jon Stewart

So as the president recently took to the podium, this burden of history clearly heavily weighing on his soul. I made a speech at a factory. They made steel products. And I said, how are you?

Chapter 8: What are the controversies surrounding the Epstein files and their impact?

625.031 - 632.017 Jon Stewart

Nice to meet you. How's business? President, I'd love to kiss you. This is a very powerful man.

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632.057 - 633.538 Unknown

I don't want to be kissed by that man.

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644.47 - 673.33 Jon Stewart

You can always tell when a story is true, when it contains a character who refers to Trump as, quote, president. Just president. Not President Trump, not Mr. President, just president. But I'm sorry I interrupted your story, president. What else did this very real person say to you? He said, sir, I want to kiss you so badly. And I said, no, thank you.

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680.077 - 712.882 Jon Stewart

Yes, yes, all the steelworkers want to kiss you and your unbelievably f***able tariffs. We'll read all about it in the official history of your presidency, team of heated rivals. As America stands on the precipice of armed conflict with Iran, Donald Trump is single-mindedly focused on preserving his wildly unpopular tariffs. that somebody finally had the balls to say were illegal.

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713.524 - 745.444 Jon Stewart

After months of anticipation, the Supreme Court today ruling that the President Trump's sweeping tariffs imposed under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act are unconstitutional. Wow. A court composed mostly of his own party's appointees has struck down the constitutionality of Trump's go-it-alone tariff regime. That's bound to cause him some introspection.

746.005 - 768.758 Jon Stewart

They're just being fools and lapdogs for the rhinos. They also are a, frankly, disgrace to our nation, those justices. They're very unpatriotic and disloyal to our Constitution. I think it's an embarrassment to their families. You want to know the truth. When a guy...

769.058 - 788.954 Jon Stewart

who had sex with a porn star right after his wife had given birth tells you you're an embarrassment to your family, I think you have to take that seriously. But the Supreme Court didn't come to this decision rashly.

789.375 - 797.75 Desi Lydic

The Supreme Court took months to make this decision. They had oral arguments back in November. They took 10 months. Working through all the thorny legal issues associated with this case.

797.81 - 799.313 Jon Stewart

Trying to thread some type of needle.

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