Trump Whines He’s “Unappreciated” & Self-Soothes with Ballroom and Third-Term Talk | Zohran Mamdani

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 41 min 8 speakers transcribed
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Announcer/Producer (Comedy Central intro) 0:01
You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart 0:48
Welcome to the Daryl Show. My name, Miyamo. John Stewart, great show for you tonight. Later on, we'll be talking to New York City mayoral candidate Zoran Mamdani. We'll be talking... We will be discussing his plans to turn the city into a communist hellscape! Where crime is legal and subway rats receive universal basic income. I haven't had a chance to read the platform. I'm just assuming. But first, our current president, Donald Josephine Trump, is currently on a tour of Asia where he will be meeting with allies, such as the new Japanese prime minister, and rivals, such as Xi Jinping. It's a crucial moment with huge ramifications for the current tariff regime in this country and for the peace and security of the entire region itself.
Jon Stewart 1:49
First stop, Kuala Lumpur. So let's dance, mother .
Jon Stewart 2:21
He loves this shit. I love at the end, he was like, eh, eh, eh, and then he just goes like, eh? That's all I got. He loves the red carpet. He loves the hats. None of it makes any... They're playing the theme song to Hawaii Five-0. None of it made any sense. But he loves the pomp, and he loves the circumstance. That's why... He loves going overseas. That's what they give him overseas. Ladies and gentlemen, it's... It's what he loves. Look what we do to him here. This is what he tweeted right before leaving on the trip. I want to thank Donald Trump for working like a dog for no money to save a country that doesn't appreciate his sacrifice.
Jon Stewart 3:20
I hope you're happy, America. Look at this poor son of a bitch. He just wants... He just wants to save his country. And all he asks for in return is a little bit of total unquestioning fealty and a few billion dollars in influence money and new forms of currency. This poor bastard. Hey, buddy. Want to go to Malaysia?
Yeah, there we go.
Jon Stewart 4:04
Come on. But what do we do when he comes home? Beef is too expensive. My health care bankrupted me. Where's my abuela?
Jon Stewart 4:21
Poor little billionaire president. He hates it here. And why wouldn't he? Everything he does for us, we have a problem with. What's the one thing that we've wanted in this country, for as long as I can remember? An outsized ballroom. I have been talking about this. Someday I'll grow up and do the cha-cha. Remember the march when we all wore the chandelier hats? No crown molding, no peace. When I say crystal, you say stemware. Crystal. Crystal. I can't believe how well that works. We don't rehearse any of that. How easily fascism comes to America. Chant with me. So we've always wanted a giant ballroom. And then, as soon as the man surprises us by completely demolishing the east wing of the White House after announcing that he would not touch it at all, suddenly, everybody's got a problem.
Unknown 5:50
The new construction plans haven't been filed with the National Capital Planning Commission for public input or to have reviewed by professionals who actually work in this field.
Jon Stewart 6:03
Well, maybe you'd like to file an appeal with the things already not here anymore, board. You know, the man... is just trying to give Americans a $300 million space that we could use four to six times a year. And you're all worried if it's the right shade of historic federal gray from Farrow and Ball. It's like we don't even want to be happy. And then, as if that's not bad enough, after Trump builds us a double the White House next to the White House, We won't even offer him the simplest of thanks. We act like he's in it for himself.
Unknown 6:49
ABC News now reporting Trump will likely name the ballroom after himself.
Jon Stewart 6:57
How dare you, sir? At long last, have you no decency? What makes you think this selfless man, look at him! What makes you think this selfless man is so arrogant as to want his name over whatever he makes? You bastards. You know, if George Washington had known there would come a day when an American president would be so disrespected that he couldn't even build a ballroom without filing plans first,

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