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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 1: The Dan Lemontard Show (feat. Lucy Rohden & Tony Calatayud)

28 Oct 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What fantasy football stresses are discussed in the episode?

0.672 - 27.343 Unknown

Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.

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27.624 - 36.67 Unknown

If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.

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38.472 - 56.237 Stugatz

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal.

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56.697 - 72.296 Stugatz

Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.

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72.317 - 72.497

Smirnoff!

72.737 - 85.352 Stugatz

Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

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Smirnoff!

86.228 - 105.195 Stugatz

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.

105.215 - 114.868 Stugatz

No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website.

Chapter 2: How does Lucy Rohden critique Brian Kelly's coaching at LSU?

416.202 - 434.278 Tony Calatayud

That has been what every single interview has been like today. We haven't even asked people to talk to us. I just stand here and I go like this. And people come up and they start talking to us. My last name is Cabucci. I'm the only Italian you'll ever see with a mullet.

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436.182 - 456.36 Unknown

And a real gold chain. The football games are fun. We know we have a good time. We have a great time. But, I mean, you know, I wish the parking was cheaper. You know, you realize they give tickets for $100 a parking ticket? What? In a college area? That's the price to get a parking pass. I mean, you know. Ah!

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457.202 - 482.994 Tony Calatayud

Ah! LSU. What do you think about the parking on campus? Oh my goodness. I keep hearing them like play this song, neck, and I can't tell what the lyrics are. Suck that tiger . That's what I thought they were. Just download the Game Time app and use code Lucy for $20 off your first order. Terms apply.

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Yo, the Dan Lametard Show. Mess with it. Yo, that's where it's at. Go Tigers! Go Tigers! The last night in the arms of a girl in Louisiana!

503.682 - 524.214 Tony Calatayud

Dan, man, we have never gone to a game here where it has not ended up with LSU losing by 30 points. And it's happened again. What are you going to do? There does seem to be a common denominator in this, and it's not me. It might be Brian Kelly. His time could be up. We already got Sam Pittman at Arkansas fired. I do believe that I was responsible for James Franklin getting fired as well.

524.595 - 535.54 Tony Calatayud

So I wrote this song. Operator, won't you put me on through? Gotta talk to the AD to get Brian Kelly fired. Hurry up, won't you? Put him on the line. Gotta get someone to coach this team.

535.82 - 552.508 Unknown

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do She's on a run here of getting coaches fired. She met Zaz for the first time in Baton Rouge. How'd that go, Zaz?

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You hadn't connected with Lucy Rodin before. It was great. She made her debut on my podcast, Zazlo Show 2.0, last week. And we were at the Rare site together and, yeah, ran into her. We were sitting next to each other at the press box. She represents the Dan Lemontard show very well wherever it is she goes. What did you think, Lucy? Welcome of the Brian Kelly firing.

Chapter 3: What are the challenges faced by LSU fans this season?

637.167 - 656.374 Tony Calatayud

You haven't seen that because people were going to LSU in spite of Brian Kelly, not because they wanted to be around him. So like Truly, his demise, not winning enough football games for LSU standards, but just being so deeply unpleasant that when he had the chance to keep his job, he could have talked to the AD and just done what he had asked.

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656.394 - 673.202 Tony Calatayud

The AD was like, please, just fire your offensive coordinator and we can move along. And he was like, no, I want to fire more people. And the AD was like, I don't need you to fire more people, just the offensive coordinator. And he was like, no, I'm going to fire everybody. and had started this big fight, and that's why they decided to let him go on Sunday.

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673.523 - 680.597 Tony Calatayud

He could have still been there had he just been not the worst for 10 minutes, but he physically can't do that.

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He really comes off like a total asshole. Like, there's the one clip during the game the other night where You have the big punt return by A&M, and you see him go up to his special teams coach mid-game and tells him, this is what's going to get you effing fired.

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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about Texas football this year?

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And then you have this tweet by this Matthew Langlois, who mentioned... I was forced to medically retire before I can get a second or third opinion when I was playing very well before my injury. I'd hear from Coach Kelly quite often. The second I got injured, not a word since. Genuinely one of the worst humans I've ever been around.

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And then you also have that story from, I think his name's Greg Brooks, his player last year who had to leave the team, brain cancer, and he can't walk anymore. He's very sick, and the family claims that they've never heard from Coach Kelly. It was on like ABC, it was a whole thing earlier this year. Like he seems awful, Lucy.

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738.1 - 755.636 Tony Calatayud

No, I heard the same thing from Kyron Lacey's parents that after everything that happened with him, they did not hear a word from Brian Kelly. And I have probably seen 10 to 15 similar stories over the last 24 hours of people who are just like, he's worse than you think he is. Like there is not a redeeming quality at all with this guy.

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756.036 - 762.623 Tony Calatayud

And the real bummer is like, damn, he gets $56 million for being the worst. That doesn't seem right. That's not cool.

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How does this affect all the other firings? Like, what is happening? Which are the good jobs out there? This is the best one out there. I think this is the best job right now. By far? Outside of Ohio State and Texas is one of the best jobs in America. No, but best job available. Best job that's actually in play for somebody.

780.345 - 802.465 Tony Calatayud

So you think it's by far the best job out there right now? Absolutely. Brian Kelly is the only coach within the last 20 years that has gone to LSU and not won a national championship. And I think that's because of Brian Kelly and because of how he operates and who he is. If you look at LSU, they're the only public power four school in the state of Louisiana, which is a great recruiting area.

802.485 - 820.321 Tony Calatayud

And I know people say recruiting doesn't matter, but I think it still very much does. They have close proximity to Texas. There is money at LSU. There is a lot of those fans. You saw those fans on the video. They're insane. They give so much money to that school. They care deeply. They have a good NIL. Like it is a school that is destined to do well.

820.482 - 826.133 Tony Calatayud

And there's this cool factor with LSU that Brian Kelly definitely messed up quite a bit. They're going to have to rebuild that.

826.113 - 854.162 Tony Calatayud

significantly but like LSU you can recruit you can win LSU is like a vessel you just have to drive the ship and you will get to a national championship there is so much just potential and talent and resources with that school that like okay you look at Florida yeah that's a good job but you're complete competing with Miami Florida State and then everybody who comes into the state of Florida and you have just it's a little I know LSU is messy when the governor gets in buyer involved with firing the head coach but Florida is also very messy and

Chapter 5: What are the implications of Brian Kelly's coaching decisions?

1094.823 - 1101.25 Tony Calatayud

I'm not like, go F yourself. I'm like, I hope you have the day you deserve. It's a great kind insult.

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It's beautiful. It's leaving it to the cosmos to sort it out. That's a less southern Bless Your Heart. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats. Lucy is headed back to Columbus this weekend for Ohio State-Penn State in the horseshoe. Mike, who would your first call be to if you're LSU? I think this one's obvious, and they're one of the few places that have the balls to make this call.

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I think it's Nick Saban, folks. Nick Saban says he's had one career regret. He's had one career regret, and it was leaving LSU. I think it should have been the first call that they made. Whether or not he was receptive, that's another discussion. But they kind of owe it to their fan base and that program. First call you make is to Miss Terry.

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And you heard Miss Terry said she hasn't seen the numbers yet. You know what wives love. Lucy, what do you think there?

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1160.373 - 1176.961 Tony Calatayud

No, I agree. Miss Terry's the first call you make and you give Nick Saban a blank check. You say whatever you want, come on down home. We've seen you on college game day. Clearly you miss ball. I don't know if Nick Saban goes or not. I really have no sort of read on that situation, but it's the first call you make. Outside of that, I think you call Joe Brady. I think you have to call Lane.

1177.342 - 1193.07 Tony Calatayud

Lane's going to coach six different teams next year. I'm excited to see how that works out. And then also I'd call Summerall at Tulane because I think that's sort of what you've got going on right now. Nick Saban is obviously the best option. And it's funny because normally that sounds like a joke, but it's a legit possibility that LSU could get Saban.

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I think Texas A&M is good. I'm not sure about the rest of the conference. What do you make of the fact that Texas is squeaking past and Alabama are squeaking past teams like South Carolina and Mississippi State?

1205.767 - 1228.038 Tony Calatayud

So for Texas, look, I will give Texas credit to start off with. You came back from down 24 points in Starkville, which is a ridiculously difficult place to play. I don't know if y'all have ever been to a game with those cowbells. They're awful. They really do fry your brain. And I think it's genuinely the toughest environment, one of them, in the SEC because of those things. So you come back.

1228.118 - 1243.501 Tony Calatayud

Arch Manning actually played really well that game. You have things to look forward to. I understand he got hurt. Texas has needed three overtimes to beat Kentucky and Mississippi State, who I believe combined have one SEC win over the last year. This is not a position that you want to be in.

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