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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 2: Happy Birthday To Me From Me (feat. Jessica Smetana)

10 Sep 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What insights does Jessica Smetana share about the upcoming USF vs. UM game?

0.031 - 30.899 Dan Le Batard

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. It was an incredible week one slate for the NFL. The NFL showed exactly why. In America, it is kingsport. It is top dog. It is the most in-demand ticket in sports. Some of those matchups, impossible to get into. You have a Super Bowl rematch this week. You have Eagles-Chiefs. How do you get in that building? You download the Game Time app.

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30.919 - 56.099 Dan Le Batard

That's right. You take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code DAN, that is D-A-N, and get $20 off your first purchase. You get ticket coverage, panoramic seat views, terms apply, swipe, tap, ticket, go. We're going to have trouble with our voice the rest of the way. I have still the delight of spice in my mouth.

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56.179 - 64.149 Dan Le Batard

Billy, you had good critique during the break when I thought you spoke correct criticism. No, not criticism.

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64.369 - 67.593 Unknown

I was praising both. I said Greg's soup tastes like home.

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68.194 - 73.533 Dan Le Batard

Mike's soup tastes like vacation. Greg was really mad during the break.

73.693 - 74.815 Unknown

Oh my God, he was so mad.

75.395 - 96.662 Dan Le Batard

Like really mad. That's your computer, Greg. You own $10 now over the course of the show. It's his computer. He's really mad. And Jessica, I'm going to need a ruling from Jessica here on whether he's right to be mad or not. Because during the break, no one came in here. He didn't leave the room. And I went into the other room and I asked some people, did you have both soups?

96.702 - 100.727 Dan Le Batard

Did you like the soups? And Mike's is gone and Greg's isn't gone.

100.707 - 109.35 Unknown

Well, Greg did better planning. Greg planned for the masses. Mike just planned for fewer people, I think could be what happened. No, Mike added water, he said. Mike also added...

Chapter 2: How does Arch Manning's performance impact college football discussions?

109.752 - 114.277 Unknown

A little lime zest to the soup, which really kind of put it over.

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114.297 - 133.878 Dan Le Batard

You guys didn't even have the best on-air bite because I spent 40 minutes zesting limes like a madman this morning. But, you know, it was like I was running in. I was like, Kevin from the office. I was like, who needs what? And then I forgot I had all this lime zest lying around. So I hope you liked it. Greg's mad. He's mad? Yep. Sure. Why wouldn't I be? I think it was an unjust award.

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133.918 - 170.449 Dan Le Batard

A fair competition. Was it fair? I will say... Your food, Lamar Jackson. I will say, having eaten a lot of Thai chicken soup, that that failed to... bring forward coconut, which is a major flavor, should be a major flavor in that soup. And Mike used a lot of coconut milk, and it did not have a coconut flavor that was discernible. This is classless. Which is a major negative for that soup.

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170.969 - 176.378 Dan Le Batard

It was tasty. Be a sportsman. It was tasty. Lamar has two MVP awards, to be fair. This is really sad.

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176.879 - 180.765 Unknown

Really? You're a great chef. Lamar Jackson, great quarterback. But you're having trouble winning the big one.

180.745 - 188.014 Dan Le Batard

Yeah. Could have been three. Okay. It's all right, Owen. Classless? No? Go ahead. Owen, four. Okay. Owen, four.

Chapter 3: What are the highlights of the Late-Night College Football segment?

188.695 - 209.74 Dan Le Batard

One of those four, I lost fair and square. Okay. Roy's turkey beat mine. You lost to Jessica fair and square. No. The carve-off. Jessica, I don't feel like I did. You were a lot classier to her in defeat. Okay. Because that wasn't a food cook-off. That was an ancillary competition. Whatever you say, Owen. What?

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209.72 - 231.449 Jessica Smetana

Well, Greg, I was going to come in here and defend you, but and there's a reason for that, Mike. The reason is that the last time that we made the soup that you made today, Lehman had COVID and like threw it up everywhere. So I can never eat that soup again. Like it brings up really bad memories. So I was going to give Greg my vote. But now Greg's kind of turning on me because of the carve off.

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231.489 - 234.833 Jessica Smetana

And I'm like, oh, I don't know if he deserves that. OK.

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234.813 - 239.24 Dan Le Batard

All right. No, I mean, I don't consider that a cooking competition. So I'm 0 for 3.

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239.26 - 239.46 Jessica Smetana

It wasn't.

239.58 - 245.329 Dan Le Batard

You're right. I'm 0 for 3, and popcorn really isn't. 0 for 4 in food-related competitions.

245.369 - 254.863 Jessica Smetana

The popcorn, I agree the popcorn was a little... Yeah, it was awful. Yeah, it was just terrible. Everyone was afraid of Dan. I lost fair and square. Now they're afraid of Mike.

254.843 - 269.726 Dan Le Batard

That's true. That soup was exceptional. You would have liked it, Jessica. You would have liked both soups, actually. But I haven't seen Greg that mad. Zazzle, you've been here only a short time.

269.766 - 272.39 Unknown

He didn't even look up from his computer afterward.

Chapter 4: What controversies surround Thom Brenneman's broadcasting career?

272.43 - 282.606 Unknown

We all get up to stretch, have a little bit more soup. He was seething. Wouldn't even get up or look up at anyone during the break. I think it was like a week and a half ago he was more mad about the laptop.

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282.586 - 308.337 Dan Le Batard

No, that was public. This was a private seething. He was smoldering in here. No, Chris, you got it bad publicly. We left the room. He sat in here steaming the entire time. I'm not making that up. I was more scared of him this time. You guys don't understand this man that you work with. He's intensely prideful. He cooks really well.

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308.377 - 328.729 Dan Le Batard

He's embarrassed that Mike beat him, and he's embarrassed that we let it happen. And you just don't know how prideful he is about this thing. Are you embarrassed? He's really good at this. No, I'm not embarrassed, and I'm far more disappointed than I am angry. I thought it was an unjust decision. I don't think it should have been close. And I feel cheated.

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329.31 - 352.245 Dan Le Batard

And I think it was done just for the sake of comedy. I don't think it was a legitimate verdict. You can't fake what those pots look like. I made more soup than you. No, you did not. I made more soup. And more of the soup is gone. You made less soup. I'm going to go have some more soup because it's almost gone and I made more soup. Please do. Greg, here you go.

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352.265 - 359.505 Dan Le Batard

I know you don't like the beating you've taken here, but happy birthday, buddy. We are thrilled that we get to work with you.

364.092 - 381.747 Unknown

A birthday for me is a birthday for you. The sound of my voice is a dream come true. The greatest of gifts that could be. Happy birthday from me to me.

381.727 - 417.939 Dan Le Batard

A birthday for me is a time full of love A present bestowed as I fell from above To make all the world full of glee Happy birthday from me to me Happy birthday from me to me He's not happy. Not even a song about himself on his birthday. Sung by himself. Sung by himself.

417.959 - 418.6 Unknown

Serenaded himself.

418.62 - 422.847 Dan Le Batard

He's steamed throughout it. You guys think I'm fooling around. He's really mad.

Chapter 5: How does the Soup-Off competition unfold during the episode?

443.975 - 461.903 Dan Le Batard

And you, threatening you, too, by the way. We can re-vote. There's plenty of Greg's soup left if you guys want to try. I really like Greg. I'm really sad that I made him sad. His soup is really good, too. That's the thing. It's delicious. Greg, is this a worse betrayal than Christopher taking your laptop a couple weeks back? Remember, I voted for you. Different categories.

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461.923 - 480.48 Dan Le Batard

Also, in retrospect, where the dolphins kind of laid an egg, it seemed as though it wasn't as big, you know? So me losing that vote wasn't as big as the Dolphins losing. Is that still your phone? Another $5, please. You owe $15 on your birthday. It's people wishing me happy birthday.

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480.6 - 499.384 Dan Le Batard

Jessica is hosting a live show on Saturday for the Notre Dame-Texas A&M game at 3.30 with Kyle Rudolph and Aaron Banks. We will tell you more about where you can get that in a moment. But Jessica is saying something that I have not heard anyone else in the sports media saying anywhere in the interwebs. You liked week two better than week one.

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500.706 - 524.577 Jessica Smetana

Yeah, I mean, real ball knowers know, Dan. Week one, there were a lot of flashy matchups, but then not a lot of meat underneath them. Week two, a lot of meat on those bones. We had some... I mean, I heard Zaz talking about the border war yesterday. SMU-Baylor, Clemson struggling with Troy, Kansas State losing to Army, USF and Florida, of course. There was an...

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524.557 - 544.472 Jessica Smetana

number of overtime games, Michigan State and Boston College. There were more even matchups in week two than week one. So like, well, I think the, you know, your typical fans like, yeah, I want to watch Florida State and Alabama. Those are some big, sexy names. I want to see the less sexy games. I want to see Deuce and UConn in overtime.

544.452 - 556.167 Dan Le Batard

Can you guys tell me where it is that you are on Arch Manning? Because we went from week one to week two with turbulence. And Texas, what are you shaking your head about, Zazzle?

556.408 - 571.387 Unknown

I'm not anywhere with Arch Manning. There's nothing to take away from what we saw in week two. And week one was what it was. Although he was good in the fourth quarter, but whatever. It's a 60-minute game. I'm not anywhere with Arch Manning. Got to see it.

571.747 - 592.348 Jessica Smetana

Jessica? I agree. I mean, he was largely inefficient last week, but it was against San Jose State, and they ended up winning by several touchdowns. It didn't really matter. They're not going to play another good defense for a few weeks. I did think it was weird that Sark tried to defend him by saying that he pooped his pants. I don't know if you guys heard that press conference sound.

592.929 - 600.396 Dan Le Batard

Pooped his pants. That's a good description. Anytime you say that there's a pooped your pants, that's a good description, but it's usually not an ally of a description.

Chapter 6: What are the reactions to the different soups made by the hosts?

609.39 - 632.058 Unknown

It just looked like he was. He doesn't have any. Is there an explanation to why he looked like that? I don't know. I've never filmed any of you guys when you're using the bathroom, so I don't know what faces you make when you're doing that. All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!

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632.078 - 647.241 Unknown

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663.127 - 671.942 Unknown

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672.203 - 672.503

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672.803 - 691.406 Unknown

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Chapter 7: How do the hosts compare their cooking skills and experiences?

754.462 - 768.097 Greg Cody

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768.357 - 778.447 Dan Le Batard

Don Levitard. I heard that as a woman faking pain. I didn't think that sounded real. I really didn't, you know. It was not fake. It was in no way fake.

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778.487 - 780.629 Jessica Smetana

You can spot a woman faking it? Stugatz.

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780.97 - 802.461 Dan Le Batard

Yes, I can, Jess. Expert. I've been married 40 years. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz. Big game that you're going to be across, Jess. We'll talk to you about Texas A&M and Notre Dame and what you're doing, the live show with the Echoes, in a moment.

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802.481 - 826.115 Dan Le Batard

But I want to talk to you about Big Ten football, too, because we all know about conference expansion, and it means some interesting time zones and kickoff times. We got USC and Michigan State. Now, I think this is one of the cooler, more refreshing matchups when it comes to conference realignment, but it's kicking off at 11 p.m., Saturday night, you'd never see an 11 p.m. start time.

826.416 - 833.161 Dan Le Batard

You only see that stuff like in Hawaii. Are college football fans going to be overwhelmed? How is this going to rate?

834.383 - 851.057 Jessica Smetana

Mike, I have so many thoughts. Why is this a refreshing matchup? Who's clamoring for Michigan State and USC playing a conference game? Let's just start there. Who's like, we need conference realignment so we can say Michigan State and USC in conference game?

851.037 - 867.35 Dan Le Batard

I'm in on this because I saw Michigan State play a later night game against Boston College, and I was surprised at how crisp their offense looks like. If they can limit the mistakes, they look like they can bounce back a little bit. And USC has spent a lot of money in this offseason. So I get what you're saying. Historically, where's the appetite here?

867.37 - 871.358 Dan Le Batard

But from what we've seen so far in this very small sample, this seems like an interesting matchup.

Chapter 8: What is the significance of the birthday celebration within the episode?

996.416 - 1007.252 Jessica Smetana

We're going to fight for our coach. We're going to fight to get this win. And instead, they're getting punished by running sprints in front of all these Syracuse J school students who are all filming and posting it on Twitter. It made me feel a little sad for them.

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1007.3 - 1015.664 Dan Le Batard

What'd you make of Caleb Williams' undershirt? Because it's not exactly what you see normally out of a starting quarterback who's the face of your franchise.

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1016.025 - 1018.272 Unknown

That's like what Billy Gill wore when he played football.

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1018.69 - 1028.22 Jessica Smetana

Yeah, I mean, I hated it, Billy. I hated everything about it. It was a terrible look. It's too loose. It's too gray. Why? What's the point of that?

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1028.26 - 1044.917 Dan Le Batard

Is he going for a branding thing? This wasn't his look last year. I will say he looked more athletic, which the undershirt wouldn't necessarily say that. I think he forgot he was wearing it. Why would he do that on purpose? I don't understand what he's going for there. That being said, I wonder if you were impressed with his play because it was like a mixed bag.

1044.897 - 1066.867 Jessica Smetana

Is it a mixed bag? It was kind of the same bag as last year, which is a problem. But it is only week one. I think, you know, it's too early to decide if Ben Johnson's fixed the Bears or not. But it just it wasn't. Something that I think would give you hope as a Bears fan, you're probably just saying same old Bears, which is what I've been saying my whole life.

1066.927 - 1080.473 Jessica Smetana

Every time everyone in the mainstream media tries to hype up the Bears, oh, they got a quarterback. Oh, they got a head coach. Oh, they got a wide receiver. Oh, they have an offensive line this year. I'll believe it when I see it, okay? And I haven't seen it yet.

1080.638 - 1096.797 Unknown

Jess, I was at Baylor SMU last week, and that game was on the CW. This weekend, South Florida and Miami. That's a good game. Two top 20 teams are on the CW. Jess, how are we feeling about football on the CW? Big game.

1097.058 - 1119.049 Jessica Smetana

Big game. I mean, there's some insane advertisements that'll happen during those games. There's a lot of times like the lead in programming is like supernatural reruns. But otherwise, it's been fantastic. I don't know if you're aware of who's calling games on the CW. Our buddy Tom Brenneman has been doing it for the last couple of years. So that's interesting, too.

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