Chapter 1: What are the highlights of the NFL games this week?
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about the performance of bottom-tier QBs?
They turned it over twice and we were up by 17. And that's about the time we did some dolphin things. Nobody here knows how to hold a lead. Some guy named Dabble ran for 200. Where the hell is RHD? I can't take more embarrassment. Make the season end. Make the season end.
that is not um good enough and later on as our last drive stalled our center some how tackled to uh this whole thing is a joke somebody really needs to put chris greer into the sea and mike mcdaniel too were so embarrassing tell steven ross to just bring down this thing how can i possibly watch 12 more games at least i still have fantasy i can't take this embarrassment make the season end god make the
It's not just the season, it's the whole thing, right? Because Waddle gets behind the secondary, ball's under thrown, you're going to save your season. Oh, look, Carolina doesn't fear you at all. They're going to score too fast. They're going to leave you two minutes on the clock. They're not even going to just hold the ball and play. Oh, no, let's finish them. They won't drive down the field.
Let's just finish their whole season, their whole architecture, the whole thing. Even Greg Cody has abandoned them. And the Dolphins lost late to, oh, Bryce Young calls timeouts he doesn't have. That's the late game awareness that you want from your conquering quarterback. Two nowhere teams. Doomed. Both of them.
Oh, that is.
Doomed. No, no, I'm not choking on the peanuts that I can't stop eating. Peanuts. I'm not. Those Hampton Farms. That's good. The Dolphin season ended yesterday, and so too did Carolina's, because I saw what Tampa did. I saw what Tampa did in Seattle, and no one's going to win that division other than Tampa. Get out of here. Obviously, they've won it the last four years.
Carolina's not going to win it this year. Carolina, you can hit us every once in a while with your Beat Atlanta thing. 30-0 at home, whatever. The Dolphins led 17-0. The Panthers are down two offensive linemen, and they don't have their running back. And the Dolphins' season and the architecture ends there. Like, it's all over.
When Greg Cody is abandoned ship, and we were all shouting at him, you're a month late, Greg. The whole experiment ends. It's not just this season ends. It's, oh, no, you went all in on McDaniel and Tyreek Hill and Tua and no fart noise. It's all over. No, it's Dan. Dan Campbell, you had him. He's running the sport now, and he's daring you to eat his kneecaps.
He's churning his farm machines into the great beyond. We're all sad and done. Can we bury it? Or is Billy going to do scheduled talk when they beat Cleveland because Miles Garrett is tired?
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of the Dolphins' recent losses?
The salary cap is $280 million. The Ravens have $160 million of it that can't play at the moment. So their defense isn't actually their defense. If I take seven guys off of their defenses, it ceases to be their defense.
I watch Tampa week in and week out with big-time names out, and they find a way. Yes, I hear you. That is a damning stat. They are no doubt hurt, especially when their multiple-time MVP is out. I've seen with my own eyes Cooper Rush beat Joe Burrows Bengals. The Houston Texans are a blight on the NFL season. They are so hard to watch. And did you see the point total they put up?
I understand the injuries. That is more than just injuries. I would say now you feel how the San Francisco 49ers feel every single season. They have 19 guys out every single year. Zig-Gak. And what's the record of the 49ers, by the way?
Zig-Gak. What are they?
They were like a 9.5-point dog at SoFi Sadie with a backup quarterback with no George Kittle, with no Pearsall, with no Jennings. They are hurt. No Brock Purdy. No Brock. What more do you want? Good teams find a way. Ravens. Not a good team.
Really? So the organization that for 25 years has been one of the standards in the sport, so stunning that a month ago we were talking about as they led in the fourth quarter at Buffalo, oh, the Ravens are going to be the same thing they've always been. Five games later, John Harbaugh doesn't know what he's doing.
The Ravens have a historically bad defense, worse than the Dolphins' historically bad defense. And it's because all their players are out and at least in part because. And this part, like, I don't even know why this part gets skated over as much as we obsess over the money.
The Ravens only get to be that when they have huge value at quarterback because the quarterback is playing both quarterback and running back, making your running back better. The running back's disposable. When you have huge value, then Lamar Jackson as your MVP, you can win 12 games every year.
But they've been paying Lamar for a while.
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Chapter 4: How does Amin Elhassan define 'sexual tension' in sports?
The Bengals are now dead. Tony?
I don't think the Ravens are dead. I don't think the Steelers are as good as they appear to be right now. I think once Lamar gets back, he's going to right the ship. They're going to win that division.
That division sucks. You can't allow 37 points a game. The Ravens' defense cannot stop anybody. And to Mike's point, I said the Texans, I said the miracle of the season was without penalty. The Texans on a second and 33 converted a first down in one of these games because he just threw the ball to Nico Collin. And C.J.
Stroud was great when he had healthy receivers, and then his pressure up the middle, and now they stink at offense. They're truly terrible at offense. And they just gutted the Ravens. The Texans were scoring 10 points a game. The Texans had the worst offense in the league. The Ravens are not what you remember them as. And if they are not done...
They can't allow, like, they've got to get their players back. I don't, do you guys know, are you guys checking the injury risks on, are the injury updates on whether the Ravens are going to have their defense back in two weeks?
You could play with 10 guys. And you give up 44 points to the Houston Texans? That's inconceivable.
Can you guys tell me what is the proper amount of shame for Amari DeMarcado? Like, what is the proper amount of shame today?
Zero. It's a touchdown.
That was a touchdown. I don't know how that was ruled not a touchdown.
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Chapter 5: What are the top five athletes that convey sexual tension?
But if we're going to protect the football in such a way that Jackson Dart giving it up five times is the reason Spencer Rattler wins for the first time. Had some throws, man.
I knew you would do this. Spencer Rattler had some throws. But he had some throws. Are you guys going to say he didn't have any throws? Yes, he had some throws. Thank you. That's all I'm saying. He's a quarterback. They're supposed to have throws. It's the job description. But you know what? We don't give enough love to the quarterbacks in the bottom tier. We don't. We love to shit on them.
We love to say, oh, they're so bad. You love all of them. That's your gimmick. I know. That's what you do. I know, but for you guys... You got to admit when Spencer Rattler had some throws. He had some throws.
Browning has some throws, but you can't turn the ball over three times. I agree.
Is there a bigger ratio for cool name, not good at football than Spencer Rattler? That's a great point.
Like he should be awesome. It's a good name. Like top five. Jackson Dart's a good name.
That's a good one.
That's strong.
Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. You know what I'm going to be doing on Christmas Day, and it's going to be watching Marty Supreme because I didn't even need to know that critics were calling Marty Supreme a full throttle masterpiece and the best movie of the year. I already knew that was going to be the case.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to the concept of a 'trubituary'?
Wake him up.
Uh-oh. He doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that as a result. He needs something that happens.
You can see him mother-effing it. Can we bother?
Are we bothering you right now? Turn on your microphone, Greg.
My microphone's on. Stugatz. Paint the scene. Paint the scene is I got to go to work.
Good night. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.
That's what I'm used to a quarterback looking like on the road when he's not quite ready. Oh, five possessions in a row? Five turnovers? Really? Okay. So we're going to be all militant about protect the football, walk around the facility with it, hold it, don't lose it. That's the most valuable thing. And five on five straight plays, oh, you lose to the Saints on the road.
We can be done with both those seasons, too? Can we be done with both of those?
Saints, yeah. Giants, yeah. Alvin Kamara, 500 career receptions.
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Chapter 7: What are the key observations from Amin's Weekend Observations?
Billy, do you have any other nominees here? Because the Raiders aren't going to. They're obviously not going to do anything. That's a long streak. That is a long streak of the Raiders not mattering at football. When's the last time they won a playoff? When's the last time they played in a playoff game?
It was the game against Cincinnati where there was a phantom whistle that was allowed to stand on the road. Derek Carr, Joe Burrow. That was the year that Burrow made it to the Super Bowl, I believe.
Wow.
The Raiders have gone 20 years without winning a playoff game, correct? 20 years? Since playing Tampa and John Gruden and the Rich Gannon teams? Has it been 20 years since the Raiders won a playoff game?
But they won the game.
They won... The Super Bowl. They made it, and John Gruden blew all their plays. They lost. The Bucs won that game. They're both Raiders of the high seas. I can understand the concern.
You thought that because Gruden won, the Raiders won, it's a reasonable mistake to make, honestly.
Dexter Jackson MVP, I think, right?
He knew all the plays. That's correct. You wanted to throw away the Vikings.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts summarize the episode's main points?
Like, man. Maryland's good. They're up 20 to nothing. Maryland's good. Can I do that? So Caroline and I write their tributary after win. I'm here to tell you Maryland proved with that loss that they're good. I believe they're good.
I love Malik Washington. As long as he stays there, they'll be relevant.
Let's do weekend ops and let's see if Lewis has to pay off this bet some point before the end of the show here because Tony and the MMA hangout, they had some consequences and some stakes that are going to make Lewis look like a fool because he agreed to look like one of these fighters that goes, no mustache, all beard.
The Dagestani look, which is they love the beard. They got great beards, but they're like, you know what? No mustache. No mustache.
And you know what we're going to do? We're going to ruin everything in the sport by just no one can wrestle better than us because we've lived in all these. Correct. Except Poiton, Dano.
Hands of stone. Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Exactly right.
That's the only way that you can beat those wrestling.
You hit it with a cinder block over the head, Dan. That's exactly what I was playing at. It is hard to regain a championship in that sport. It doesn't happen in that weight class. I think Jon Bones Jones is the only other fighter to do what Pereira did. He was incredible. Some people were upset with the stoppage. I don't think so. He was hitting him with 12-6 elbows to the back of the head.
And his head was just bouncing off the canvas. Funny enough, Pereira, if you watch him towards the end of the fight when he's starting to celebrate with Glover to share before they put the belt on, he actually fixes his toe because his toe got broke in the first kick of the match.
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