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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Dan's Car Alarm (feat. Widespread Panic)

07 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What embarrassing moment did Zaslow experience during the episode?

0.031 - 24.123 Unknown

I think Zazz would be mortified by everything that just happened right now, where I don't think Zazz knows, because he's not in his seat yet, that all of us were watching him in the green room taking his shirt off, and then at some point he took his pants off. What? And there are cameras everywhere around here. All I heard was Chris Cody screaming.

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24.343 - 29.65 Unknown

Chris Cody was just yelling, like, Zazz, Zazz, Zazz doesn't know that he's on video.

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29.63 - 39.237 Stugotz

I did not like any of that. I felt very uncomfortable. Right away, I saw his shirt come off. And that was a sight to see. And I was like, OK, if that's where it ends, it's fine.

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Chapter 2: Why was there a discussion about camera placement in the green room?

39.257 - 44.652 Stugotz

And then he took his pants off. Luckily, he had his underwear on. And from there, I started shouting to the video team,

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44.632 - 59.048 Unknown

I can see Zaslow. Yeah, well, no, you brought everyone's attention to, wait a minute. No, no, it wasn't from there that you started bringing attention to this, because the only reason I looked at any of the cameras is because you were yelling about the fact that his shirt was not on.

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59.628 - 68.698 Stugotz

I was being helpful, though. I was not doing it like, ooh, this is fun for me. I was doing it like, I would hate to be in this spot where people were seeing me without me knowing. That's a vulnerable spot.

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68.678 - 73.428 Dan Le Batard

I think the natural follow-up question is, why is he disrobing in the studio?

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73.448 - 87.379 Unknown

That's a good question. Well, it wasn't in really the studio. This is the studio. He was in the green room, and he thought it was a private area. And it is usually a private area. If you close the door, it's private. But there are cameras everywhere.

87.359 - 92.747 Dan Le Batard

But that doesn't answer the question, why was he disrobing while on the Levitar clock?

92.767 - 114.08 Unknown

We'll inform him of all of this when he gets here, because I don't think he knows that we were watching him. We will get to see his face together and notice how disoriented he is and bothered and shocked he is by that. I see just a great deal of unrest in the other studio. None of this sounds as audio the way that it's supposed to.

114.18 - 123.254 Unknown

I'm judging just from the horrified look on Roy's face and the fact that Mike just fled the room to go be with a pantless Zazzler. Have I kept you cool, though? Not really.

123.274 - 128.002 Stugotz

Because I felt the panic. I was like, guys. We need to keep Dan cool here. So I was like, nothing going on wrong here.

Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about Miami's chances against Ole Miss?

128.122 - 134.093 Unknown

No, no. I just saw widespread panic on what the audio was here. What's the matter with the audio?

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134.173 - 147.194 Stugotz

You just sound a little hollow to me right now. I want a more robust Dan Levitard, but also you got this weird shadow show voice when you start. That's always like way lower on the levels. Yeah, fix that. No, don't fix it. It's your trademark. Whatever. We adjust on our end.

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147.234 - 155.986 Stugotz

It could also be because Zazz isn't in the room and we only have those two mics cracked open right now and it sounds different. Widespread Panic is a band. I thought so.

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156.627 - 157.728 Dan Le Batard

Yeah, I thought so.

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157.788 - 164.395 Stugotz

He said he saw Widespread Panic. I was like, okay, where, West Palm? Do you like that band?

165.477 - 175.557 Unknown

First time I'm hearing about widespread panic, other than the one that I just saw on the face of Roy and Mike, because I sounded a little bit hollow.

175.577 - 184.495 Stugotz

20 years. I still care like that, Dan. I'm like, that's not a robust mic.

190.33 - 205.715 Unknown

Biggest game in 20 years. History is gold. We are right here, right now. And every team they thought was going to beat us is taking their ass home. University of Miami.

205.735 - 206.496

Another pass. Play. That's a set down.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of Miami's recent football performance?

226.26 - 258.555 Unknown

Don't come back. show we put belt to ass we did it every week and we're gonna keep doing it until we land back home in our stadium for the national championship next week same deal same bat channel same bat time belt to ass just having fun man malarkey oh So did we! Bro, we only got 30 more minutes. 30 more minutes, we get everything we f***ing work for. Them boys ain't work how we work.

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258.575 - 296.594 Unknown

They ain't feel how we feel. They ain't cry how we cry, gang. You can see they don't got the energy we got, bro. They don't want it how we want it, bro. 30 more minutes and we got it. Biggest game in 20 years. Mass kicks ass. Big, big game show. Zaslow, you look great. Punk. You look like no one in Dodgeball, no one in the movie Dodgeball, but you look like you're going for it.

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296.654 - 310.708 Unknown

And I don't think that you know that while you were getting dressed, we could see you on the cameras. taking your shirt off and then your pants off. And Chris Cody was shouting to everyone here.

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310.868 - 311.569 Stugotz

Trying to be helpful.

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311.869 - 333.889 Unknown

And I believe there are human resources violations with the fact that there are cameras everywhere and there was flat, rampant voyeurism going on as you took your shirt off and then took your pants off. And Chris Cody did play-by-play where he's like, Chris Cody actually said he's taking his shirt off. I hope he doesn't take his pants off. Oh my God, he's taking his pants off.

333.869 - 339.218 Unknown

Why is Morgan Spurlock changing our green room? The late Morgan Spurlock.

339.519 - 350.197 Greg Cody

I thought I had avoided human resources by asking our makeup girl to leave the room because I don't want there to be an issue.

350.657 - 364.777 Stugotz

I thought I was doing the right thing here. You look like you're about to slap John Stossel. Well, I will tell you... I look like Dr. D. Not Dallas Diamond Page. What a great reference. David Schultz.

364.817 - 368.12 Unknown

I thought it was Dallas Diamond Page that slapped Johnson.

Chapter 5: How does the conversation shift to the topic of coaching mistakes?

374.227 - 384.511 Stugotz

He messed up the name, but it's also the moment. It's a different guy. It wasn't DDP. Dr. D. David Schultz smacked him up. You think he was an actual doctor? It's a PhD.

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384.931 - 391.72 Unknown

Something to think about. Dr. David Schultz does look like Dallas Diamond Page, does he not?

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391.74 - 393.542 Stugotz

Diamond Dallas Page.

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393.743 - 394.303 Unknown

Does he not?

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394.784 - 408.446 Stugotz

Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, you get that little blonde curl and the skin that probably should have had some sun protective stuff on it. Are we going to air the footage of me changing? We're not going to do that.

408.466 - 411.974 Unknown

No, we're not going to do that. Would you like us to do that? Not really.

411.995 - 420.576 Greg Cody

I would. I do feel a little bit exposed here because if I stand up, you know, the pants do a real good job of leaving little to the imagination. Yeah, we had the side profile, so...

420.893 - 436.253 Unknown

You feel like you are exposed. You feel a little exposed now because you should have seen yourself a few minutes ago when you were on all the cameras in here changing in the other room. Oh, that's horrible. Horrible. You all were looking?

436.233 - 453.448 Unknown

Greg Cody, before we get to your University of Miami thoughts and before we get to the Dolphins and the availability of John Harbaugh, I want to know and I have wanted to know for 24 hours the nature of your feud with Richie Rosenblatt.

Chapter 6: What insights do the hosts share about the transfer portal's impact on college football?

483.696 - 495.193 Dan Le Batard

So we had sort of a fierce back and forth. But, you know, this alleged thing that happened with me refusing to give him a pen or something, that's lost in time.

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495.354 - 517.013 Unknown

Well, it's not lost in time because I mentioned yesterday, and for those who do not know, What happened was, in a freezing buffalo outside the locker room, because Greg Cody had a rivalry with Richie Rosenblatt, Richie Rosenblatt's pen froze. Greg Cody had a number of different pens that worked fine and hadn't frozen. Greg Cody would not lend Richie Rosenblatt any of the pens.

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517.213 - 535.41 Dan Le Batard

Allegedly. You're going to go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmelee. No, as a matter of fact, I don't recall Richie Rosenblatt covering the Dolphins. He covered the Canes. My rival on the Dolphins beat was Charles Bricker. So did you do this move to Bricker? I may have.

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536.335 - 551.678 Stugotz

funny part about all this is that aren't you now the last person still using a pen in the locker room I pretty much writing down your chicken scratch my dad's like quoting them like do not erase Barry Jackson from the narrative oh he's still using it and Ira

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551.658 - 574.895 Dan Le Batard

Yeah, there's a few of us left. Dave Hyde occasionally will chicken scratch. It's such chicken scratch. Like, it's just lines. How do you read it after? It's my own hieroglyphic. I can read it. Like, I've never been accused of misquoting anybody. And if it's a very important interview, I'll record it. But a routine interview where Mike McDaniel is eyeing and umming through a post-game talk.

574.915 - 576.197 Dan Le Batard

Do you write the ums?

576.177 - 583.11 Stugotz

Or multiple times he has recorded an interview with somebody and forgot to hit record and then needed them to come back and do the interview again.

583.13 - 586.096 Dan Le Batard

Oh, boy. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing.

586.116 - 587.178 Stugotz

Happened with Mario Cristobal.

Chapter 7: What are the concerns regarding Miami's defensive strategy against Ole Miss?

624.905 - 628.01 Unknown

Yeah, that's how quotes work. Thank you for explaining that to us.

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628.03 - 630.874 Dan Le Batard

Some people write verbatim what everybody says.

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630.934 - 632.937 Unknown

No, you can't. It's not possible to do that.

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632.957 - 634.3 Dan Le Batard

I think it is possible.

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634.46 - 641.25 Unknown

It's not possible to keep up with someone speaking, writing at the same pace that they're speaking. Yeah, it is.

641.45 - 641.971 Dan Le Batard

No, it is.

642.191 - 644.235 Unknown

Greg, it's not humanly possible.

644.275 - 653.372 Dan Le Batard

What do you mean? It is when you have your own shorthand, which I've developed over the years. I want to play this game where Dan gives a quote and you do your chicken scratch.

653.412 - 676.09 Unknown

All right, let's do this now. Let's do it right now. We've got a new budget around here, okay? We're still a growing show. No, he's got a telestrator now. I've got this thing. No, do it with the telestrator. Try and keep up with me by writing what it is I'm saying because you now have access to a telestrator. I do not believe that you will be able to keep up with us in any way while we speak.

Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude regarding Miami's football future?

734.647 - 740.778 Dan Le Batard

What was that? Already? And it took 10 seconds. Already? Those are cherries. Really? Those are cherries. Could have been anything. Grow up.

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741.439 - 743.763 Stugotz

Grow down is more like it.

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744.384 - 749.071 Unknown

Craig, 10 seconds into the telestrator, you're drawing balls.

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749.552 - 753.237 Stugotz

I mean, we all root for it when you see two circles on the screen.

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753.297 - 758.986 Unknown

Inadvertently, you root for it. You root for it for somebody to do it accidentally. You don't root for it for someone.

760.669 - 761.67 Dan Le Batard

Somebody had to do it.

763.051 - 783.761 Unknown

John Harbaugh is now available, and people were talking about this for weeks, and I know that Miami Dolphin fans are going to be excited about go get the guy who's a giant name and has done some winning. I'd prefer if he came with Lamar Jackson. I actually prefer if the pros just started doing what Auburn and what college football is doing, what Oklahoma State is doing.

783.901 - 800.8 Unknown

Oklahoma State just goes and gets North Texas' coaching quarterback. Now, Auburn just gets the University of South Florida's coaching quarterback. When they talk about paying Byron Brown more than anybody in NIL, what's that number going to be now? Those numbers are going to keep going up, right?

801.141 - 820.378 Unknown

If Carson Beck's between $3 and $4 million a year, and now Auburn wants to get in the game because they've fallen behind everybody in the SEC, and they just steal South Florida's coaching quarterback, where are these numbers going to end up when I'm reading quotes from Drew Rosenhaus, who's representing Byron Brown, and Drew Rosenhaus is realizing, wait a minute,

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