Chapter 1: What challenges does Dan face with his squatter?
Do you consider yourself self-aware?
Not really. Do you think you're nosy? Yes. Inquisitive would be the word I'd use.
Okay. No, I have found you to be someone who over time is nosy, my lifetime. But I didn't think that you thought you were nosy. I have felt off of you for about two weeks that you're dying to ask me questions about this squatter.
Yeah, I am. And the whole idea of there's actually a phrase squatters rights. The idea that somebody who invades somebody else's property and because they do somehow have some rights to stay there is just beyond me.
Florida is actually pretty good about getting that out of the courts. Thank God. But I was hours away from not being able to get into my house because the doorknobs were changed because I found the doorknobs in the house and they were ready to be. I was ready to have a discussion with police where I didn't have the keys to my house. And then that's how it ends up in the court system.
And that's how it ends up with free rent for however long. I'm actually I want to talk to this person. I've got a bunch of different questions. I think it'd be great content. I'd just be welcoming something that is a little bit crazy into my life after Manu. Last weekend, though, 10 days after this, what arrives at my house? A couch.
Free? Nice. Congrats. Is it a nice couch? No. Suede?
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Chapter 2: How did Kash Patel's week compare to Chris Paddack's?
Naugahyde? What do you got?
Yes, Naugahyde. Oddly enough, it's a Naugahyde couch. I thought he said Naugahyde. I was like, ooh. That's a $5 fine for you because your computer just made a sound and it beeped. The fine bucket is back in play. It is alive. And so let me see the cash. Do you have cash on you?
Cash? Who carries cash?
You can bet on that.
2026.
Oh, it's not on video. My bad.
You just did your cross-eyed Cash Patel impersonation, not realizing that you're not on camera.
Which, by the way, a crime that we did not have that on the topic board. Cash Patel. What a week he had, huh? Oof. Are you talking about his girlfriend or something else?
Something much more important, Dan.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the Rally Rooster in Marlins broadcasts?
Attaboy. That's not even the worst thing he did this week. No, but he signed up to crank it on January 6th. Allegedly. What questions do you have about the squatter?
Well, do you get to keep the couch?
Or does he have any rights to that? No, I get to keep whatever it is. There were seven packages the last time I was there. There were an assortment of things the last time I was there. I was surprised. This is trickling in on the back end because it's really cheap furniture. And what is the name of that company? It's a Chinese company that makes very cheap furniture. Timu. Yeah, that's it.
Oh, yeah. I was thinking Ikea. Oh, they're Scandinavian.
Yes, whatever. That's it? You have no more questions?
I have a bunch of questions. You should. I dare you. You would have balls the size of grapefruits if you invited for an interview onto this show your squatter.
I'm hugely interested. I've got a bunch of different questions about how it is that he planned to stay there for months. because he thought he had found himself a house. And it's weird to me that we didn't run into him earlier than this.
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Chapter 4: How does Greg Cody's wallet reflect his personality?
It makes me wonder if he was hiding in the house on occasion while we were there.
Yeah, I think he was. A little bit of a victory lap by him, no? To get the furniture before you switched out the doorknobs? Maybe you switched the doorknobs first, and then you started ordering...
No, oh, you think he was, oh, he's guilty of getting complacent and counting his chickens before they were hatched. He was high-stepping.
He had the ball behind his head, high-stepping on his way to the end zone, holding it back behind him.
I mean, Timut is very, very long to get from China over here, especially with all the stuff going on, the Strait of Hormuz. You figure out what's the situation.
I don't think it's the Strait of Hormuz that caused that to not get here quicker.
This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Juju, put it on the poll, please, at Levitard Show. Do you own a wallet? Greg Cody has pulled out his wallet because he has been fined during the Shadow Show $5 for his computer going off. He's going to give me that money in a second. How long have you had that wallet, Greg?
Probably 10 to 15 years. Will you ever get a new one? No. That's it?
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Chapter 5: What impact does Cash Patel's hacking incident have on his reputation?
Download the MoneyLion app or visit MoneyLion.com to learn more. MoneyLion, make money easy. Jeremy, would you do me the favor, please, of getting change for this? Because I need to give him the $95 and I need to do this now because I'm finally getting a hold of this fine system after all of these years. No one is getting away anymore without paying.
Dan, how the hell are you going to find someone to have $95? Yeah, just clarifying. I need $95 in cash.
There is already. It's all my money. It's all my fine money. But all you put in is hundreds. No, I've put in a number of different denominations, and we finally got the fine bucket under control. I wanted to talk about an entrance last night that made me laugh. The Marlins lose last night to the White Sox.
Not enough is made of what we did two years ago where we had a couple of Mets from the 1962 Mets on to celebrate that the White Sox were about to have a worse season than the Mets. And then the White Sox won like five out of their last six games and it didn't actually end up happening. And we did the math wrong. And so the 1962 Mets still have the worst season. But that White Sox team...
is the worst i've ever seen the marlins opened with of the rockies and swept them and yesterday they get crushed by the white socks and chris paddock and i want to hear some of this story thank you from jeremy i want to hear some of the story of chris paddock as he was drafted by the marlins in two thousand fifteen and he's making his debut eleven years later and he comes into the ballpark
really confident with the Marlins saying there's a new sheriff in town. He's wearing a cowboy hat. They've got the photo of him walking out and getting out of his car where they just take a picture of his boots, getting out of the car like you see in the movies, and then he gives up eight runs in four innings and promptly leaves the field with his nipples on fire. I mean, come on.
What are you doing? It's a White Sox stand. What do you expect? You can't come in this way. They're a really bad baseball team.
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Chapter 6: Why is the Miami Heat's recent performance noteworthy?
I supported the Marlins for the first time all season. I got the subscription. I figured out how. I dedicated 25 minutes to it, and I finally got the ability to watch the Marlins on TV for the first time in several seasons. I came back from putting my daughter to bed, and apparently the White Sox just have this guy that's allowed to run around the bases all he wants.
Like he can just do whatever with impunity. This Acuna guy. And I don't think that's the Acuna everybody else talks about, Dan.
Yeah, he's a pretty good player, right?
Yeah, he won the World Baseball Classic. Can you walk into the ballpark this way and then give up eight runs in four innings? Tony, you're just saying dress like you want to play.
The guy comes in with a dually truck. He's got the jacket. He's got the boots on. He's got the hat.
Let him do what he wants to do. I mean, yes. To answer your question, Dan, this is very much a tree falling in the forest type of thing. If a dude walks into a Marlins game on a Monday dressed like that, does anyone notice? They might if he gives up eight earned runs. And I saw something else in this ballgame that really chapped my ass, Dan. Really does.
You know, like, I just found out that the catchers and the pitchers aren't giving signs anymore. We're losing recipes. And now, I know that this has been happening for a very long time, and I know Roy has my back here. The first guy that I saw do this was Cespedes. The highlighter, arm sleeve. There was a dude on the Marlins that had a gold arm sleeve and a gold belt. Like, a gold belt.
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Chapter 7: How does Greg Cody feel about baseball fashion trends?
There's a reason there's a uniform. I get individualism, and you have the cleats. You get the day to put on whatever nickname on the back of the jersey. What is this? If you're going to wear equipment that's funky, use an alt color. You have Caliente Red right there. What? Gold? That's not a part of the color scheme. The belt set me off.
This has been something that's been percolating with me about this sport for several years. But when I saw a guy has the ability to just not use a team belt, what is this?
We're losing recipes.
It's an outrage.
They still wear belts?
Yeah. At least when Stanton was down here, he wore an orange arm sleeve. At least that matched. It's anarchy. It is. And it should be style points for whomever it is that wants to rattle baseball's cage, however it is that they rattle it. Stunned that Mike is already the old guy complaining about how the kids are dressing these days. Yeah, I don't like how it sounds. I know it's a boomer take.
Now, I'm aware that it's been happening for like a decade. Right? Cespedes isn't even in the league anymore, right? That's right. But it bothers me, and I've been kind of dealing with it because I don't really pay attention to the sport, but I'm trying to get back into the sport, and things like that, they're losing me. They're losing me.
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of the Heat's strategies against top teams?
Well, the new sheriff in town, I want to talk about this for a second, okay? Chris Paddock is on a one-year, $4 million deal. They need him toāif they're going to do anything this seasonā And I believe they're actually on the right track.
We have a couple of things happening with the Dolphins and the Marlins where they're just stripping it down to nothing over years so that they can start the process of rebuilding with young players. But yesterday we missed something. And I'm surprised as the Latin show that we missed it.
We did not do enough with the fact that in the third game of the season, the Spanish broadcast introduced to us, because I was not aware before this and I wasn't aware until I was driving home, that the Spanish broadcast for the Marlins has a rally rooster. I did not know there was a rally rooster.
I love that the baseball broadcast in Spanish, that the announcer can go summon a rooster sound when he wants a rally. But rarely do you get the rally rooster combination. And then Owen Casey hits the walk-off home run immediately after you've summoned the the rally rooster.
So I failed here in not playing this sound more and recognizing the seismic achievement if indeed this is something the broadcaster only brings out once in a while. Now if he's doing it 20 times a game, that's something entirely different. But on this call, he got it exactly right.
Marlin, no se dan por vencido. Suename el gallo, por favor. Ya se prepara otra vez. El empate estĆ” en segunda. Lanzamiento le tira y saca un batazo alto largo por el right field. Que sĆ, que no, que no, que sĆ. That's perfect.
The Rally Rooster is so well-named. It's more than the alliteration. It's the idea that the rooster stands as a wake-up call. It's just perfect. It kicks the ass of the rally monkey. The Rally Rooster is the best invention in baseball.
So, Greg, it's not a real rooster, just so we're clear.
It doesn't matter.
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