Chapter 1: What are the consequences of losing in fantasy football?
Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.
If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world.
Chapter 2: How can nighttime teeth grinding affect fantasy players?
Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe.
Chapter 3: What is the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal?
Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
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Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
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We've got pitch clock coming up here. We've also got some Juju Gotti coming up here, but we've got to do Thursday Thunder here and we've got to do it quickly and we've got to win this week. It's time to start winning people some money. Let's win people some money. Juju is, I still don't think that in all the time that Juju has been doing this, maybe I'm wrong.
If he has ever gotten zero right, I don't think. One right is very rare, but two right out of three, that's his wheelhouse. So just selectively, if you don't want to bet them together, bet them individually. But together is the big payout. Give us the Thursday thunder this week, Juju.
Yes, sir. Since I'm so successful at those two out of threes this week, I'm going with a four piece, baby. First of all, I'm going with Tee Higgins for over five reception yards in the first quarter. First quarter, Tee Higgins, lock it in. Secondly, I'm sticking with Tee Higgins, and I'm going with him for over three catches tonight. Scooby Snacks. Scooby Snacks. Joe Flacco in the building.
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Chapter 4: How does JuJu Gotti plan to win this week's bets?
Yes, sir. Also too, Billy, I love you. Before we get to the post, Billy, I love you so much, bro. Like people don't understand you a great guy. Like you hilarious on the show and you be playing your role. But when I first got to this company, I was, you know what I mean? I'm fresh out the streets. So I don't understand a lot of what's going on. You feel me?
And he helped me understand a lot of what was going on. Took the time, talked to me for hours.
hours on the phone like bro we grown folks and people don't use the phone no more my boy billy took a time out his life two kids to talk to me you feel me so i always appreciate you i always appreciate the time we spent together and i love you brother thank you juju love you yes sir do you like it when there are two monday night football games I'm in on this.
Sixty seven percent of the audience says no, they do not. People are just looking for things to complain about.
I don't understand.
You're telling me you're an American general.
You're telling me a Monday night football game will end and it'll end at 10 p.m. Eastern time, also known as Lord's time zone. The game will end on Monday and you'll be like, damn, I wish there wasn't another game on right now.
I like it when it's staggered by an hour. I don't love the 7-10 thing. I like the 7 and 8-15.
That's where it's at. I like that better. Yep. I kind of like the 7-10. It's like, give me something to stay up for. It's like basketball season. I'm used to staying up so late because LeBron and them, they don't come on to 10,000 Eastern time. So I'm used to staying up late. I kind of like it. I don't know. Who is cooler, a person who scores baseball games or a person who has sex? Oh, big.
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Chapter 5: What are JuJu's predictions for Tee Higgins and Noah Fant?
63% of the audience says a person who has sex.
What they don't know is that if you do the first, you do the second more than if you don't do the first.
Hello. Is Max Scherzer as crazy as his eyes look? 90% of the audience says yes, he is. And the last poll was the Pope talking trash. 96% of the audience says, yes, he was. And those are your polls.
That Pope was spitting. Thanks, Juju.
Thank y'all. Pitch Clock, next. Yes, sir. Don Levitard.
Can I tell you something? I don't know, maybe like a month ago. And I decided to watch Pitch Clock. And I told Jeremy. Stugatz. This is a good show you're doing.
This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stoogads. I've decided that since I did so well last week, I'm not going to change and I'm going to wear the same clothes this week. What's your excuse? I've been in the lab studying all baseball statistics for a week straight. I haven't changed. I'm ready to win. Maybe. I don't know. I don't feel any confidence in this. Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the pitch clock. Here's the pitch. A two part baseball segment combining a nostalgic baseball trivia game and an interview with an expert. This is the pitch clock. So you already hi everybody'd. Yeah, I did. Oh, I did that. Oh, that's right. I'm supposed to do that here. I did in the cold open. You did. Don't tell me when to hi everybody. It's the playoffs.
We're doing the pitch clock and we are back for another week. We will have our baseball analyst with us momentarily to dive into everything that's going on. Ethan, what is our game for today? So in front of you, there's a sheet of logos. Those are the World Series champions every year since 2009. You are going to tell me the World Series MVP for each of these seasons.
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Chapter 6: What did Paul Pierce say about LeBron James?
I knew you would. He hit three big home runs, I believe, in that series. Of course, most famously, the grand slam off of Nestor Cortez. Okay. Okay. I'm going to go with... Here's a fun one. I'm going to go with... That's three, two... 2021 Atlanta Braves, Jorge Soler. That is correct. We all remember that big home run he hit in Houston. We all remember it, right? We all remember it, right, Cody?
Damn. That's where I was trying to figure out where are the ones that Chris definitely knows. But I think I just got to get myself on the board on these. So one, one after one. Oh, boy. All right. Dodgers 2020 Mookie Betts. That is incorrect, and I'm not going to give you the right answer.
Yeah, thank you.
Because if Jeremy wants to take that one, he can't. Thank you. So Cody has the first strike. This is not going to be good for Chris. But he was there. Oh, God. Okay, there's like one that I know for sure, but I don't know which year. I'm intrigued by who you're thinking. Oh, my God. I just thought I know one. I like one. Well, here, I'm just going to go here.
23, it's Corey Seager with the Rangers, correct? That is correct. Yes, Corey Seager had a great series for the Texas Rangers as they defeated the Arizona Diamondbacks. That was a fun World Series. Yeah, man, that was a great World Series.
Our ALCS and NLCS expert is with us now, and it's my new best friend and the author of Make Me Commissioner, I Know What's Wrong with Baseball and How to Fix It. You can also check out her big piece coming out in the New York Times right before the World Series. Jane Levy, back with us on the Pitch Clock. Jane, thank you so much for taking the time to join me today. For you, boy toy, anything.
All right. Well, let's let's dive right into the ALCS. Last night, it's the Mariners and the Blue Jays. And those Jays bats finally looked like the Jays bats we saw against the Yankees. A huge third inning breaks the game open. They pile on five homers in Seattle, which is like the toughest place to hit home runs. So, Jane.
What changed last night in either in terms of the Blue Jays offensive approach or the Mariners pitching staff's execution that really flipped the script in this one?
the Jays to have looked so bad at home and then flip the script and have the Mariners look so bad at home. It makes you wonder whether these teams that haven't had playoff games, you know, to really talk about for a long time, you know, we're a little tight and sometimes getting away from home is a really good thing. I doubt that the Mariners will be as, um, brain cramped tonight as they were.
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Chapter 7: Why is Tua Tagovailoa becoming unlikable?
Mind you, while you go ahead and let yourself think, I am going to go through for the audio audience. I'll go through each year here since we haven't yet. So we obviously got the 24 Dodgers, 23 Rangers. For those of you who don't remember, in 2022, it's the Houston Astros. 21, it's the Braves. 2020 was the Dodgers. 19 is the Washington Nationals. 18, Red Sox. 17, Houston Astros.
That's a very famous team. 16, the Chicago Cubs. Another very famous team. 15, the Royals. 14 the Giants, 13 the Red Sox, 12 the Giants, 11 the Cardinals, 10 the Giants, and 2009 was the New York Yankees. 2019 Nationals, Trey Turner. No, he did have a great postseason, but he was not the World Series MVP that year. So that is two strikes for Cody. That's two strikes? Yeah, I got the Dodger.
I guessed Mookie Betts. You don't know who that Cardinal is? I know who you're thinking of. It's not him? But I don't know. I don't know if you have the right name, Cody. I know for sure. Their third baseman hit a bunch of home runs. So I know who it is, but I'm trying to... 100% he was the MVP. I'm helping you. 100%. Okay. I don't have any strikes yet, right?
Chapter 8: What are the latest updates on the polls discussed?
You are not on the board with any strikes, Jeff. 2011 Cardinals. David Freeze. It's David. Yes. All right. So the reason I wasn't sure. No, you didn't. The reason I wasn't sure about David Freeze was because I couldn't remember. Did the dominance start?
And I helped you.
It's like a thousand percent. Did the dominance start?
You have to help me out now. You have to help me out now.
No, I was willing to go. You have to help me out now. That was a willingness to get a strike. Hold on. Hold on. I want to hear what Jeremy has to say. What I wasn't totally sure of was, was that dominance starting in the NLCS? Was that dominance starting in the NLCS? And thus, in turn, I think of him as the World Series MVP.
But I now remember that big double off the wall that was over the head of Nelson Cruz. Two strikes in the ninth inning. That was game six of the 2011 World Series, one of the greatest baseball games ever played. And then, of course, he hit the walk-off in game six. And then in game seven, they had to come back again. And I think he had another big hit in game seven.
How many pitchers did the Los Angeles Dodgers use in the 1963 World Series?
Oh my goodness. I don't want to go too low because that defeats the purpose of the game. So I'll say seven. Four. Oh my gosh. In the entire World Series.
Paranowski relieved Johnny Padres. And other than that, it was complete games.
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