Chapter 1: What happens when you have a losing fantasy football week?
Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.
If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth.
Chapter 2: How can nighttime teeth grinding affect your health?
Available at all major retailers.
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!
Chapter 3: What is the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal?
Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit.
Chapter 4: What are the highlights of the upcoming Dallas Cowboys vs. Detroit Lions game?
The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Start of the day, start of the day, this is the start of the day.
Stat of the day presented by Amazon Prime Video. Thursday night football is on.
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Chapter 5: What are the current NFL QBR ratings and their implications?
This week, Dallas Cowboys take on the Detroit Lions. Coverage begins Thursday at 7 p.m. Eastern, only on Prime Video.
Per Bleacher Report, J.J. McCarthy's Vikings QBR in Week 12. 34.2. Not good. In week 13, Max Brosmer for the Vikings. Total QBR, 32.8. Also not good. The QBR, if you spiked the ball on every single play, would be 39.6.
So what are we doing? Come on.
Come on. What do you mean? Stupid rating. Stupid stat. It is stupid. Well, interceptions are worse than spiking the ball into the ground. That's right.
Spiking the ball into the ground every play is definitely worse than interceptions. He's right about that. Incompletion. No, it's not. Yes, it is because there are other plays besides the interceptions. Maybe I had interceptions and I also had touchdowns. What, you're telling me spiking the ball every play is better? What are we talking about? I'm with this. I dare you to tell me I'm not right.
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Chapter 6: How did the Chicago Bears become NFC's first seed?
This is so bang on. So stupid. I'm so glad someone stepped up and said it. Brosmer's play directly led to points for the other team. At least if you spiked the ball on every play, you could punt it.
At least if you spiked the ball on every play. I'd rather spike the ball on every play than run backwards 15 yards and throw it right at the defender. I didn't realize this segment was identifying all the non-ball knowers.
Jeremy just being real loud in that segment.
I don't like this.
James Madison and BYU, man. Justice for those teams. You losers. Win games.
Get to conference championships. Win conference championships. How would spiking the ball into the ground every play be anything other than a zero rating? Right. Thanks.
You're welcome. It's stupid. Hello. If you go 0 for 1, it's a 39.6 rating. Hello. Doesn't make any sense.
I have in my possession, this is heavy, and I am proud of it, and I am proud of our listeners and grateful for our listeners, because over the last year here, we have gotten 100 million streams. What are you laughing about, Roy? It's ridiculous to see you laugh at me as John Tesh wearing that incredible wig.
Yes, I just realized that, so I'm shutting up.
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Chapter 7: What was the funniest moment from the sports weekend?
I thought that Juju was joining us. He is not joining us today. Did you get it all out of your system on the University of Miami, Mike, or are we going to keep doing this? Because I can't keep doing it.
I keep trying to subvert our show by saying we can't put Mario on. This guy's just only made it worse. And then my contact was like, clarify, which one, Jeremy or Dan? Mario's your contact, right?
Let's go ahead and do funniest thing from the sports weekend.
Hey, people. Tell us what in the sport made you laugh hardest this weekend. In this segment, we call what made you laugh this weekend. Ha, ha, ha.
Jeremy, would you like to get us started, please?
7-5 Dukes playing in the ACC Championship game over the Hurricanes. Manny Diaz has reached the ACC Championship before Mario Cristobal. That is funny. If only the shock of Duke making it to the ACC championship game before Miami still had any kind of weight. Miami doesn't make this. Do the right thing, ACC commissioner. They don't make playoffs.
Do the right thing.
Roy, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend?
The National Football Conference's first seed right now is being held by the Chicago Bears. Are they good? Yeah.
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Chapter 8: What are the funniest things that happen during televised holiday specials?
Is this a happen-to-know situation? It is a happen-to-know situation. All right, hold on a second.
second i don't think greg cody has done a happen to know situation he happens to know great scott he happens to know he happens to know gather everyone get the children he happens to know
I happen to know that Jack White likes the intense white makeup, the flower makeup, I call it. And I've seen him applying it to himself in backstage prior to a concert.
Such a reckless thing to say.
What do you mean? I just don't believe.
I know you've met him. I know you've met him backstage. I just don't believe you've seen him.
Wait a minute. You don't question the happen to know. I can question the happen to know. Wait a minute. You can't question the happen to know. He just made the correction of not only did I see him applying it, he then said the more accurate term, I saw someone applying it to him.
He also said he saw the Wilt game on TV.
Well, you know, I did. Just because it's being reported that the game was never televised, that doesn't make it so.
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