Chapter 1: What fantasy football stresses are affecting players this week?
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All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal.
Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age.
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Chapter 2: How does Baker Mayfield's performance impact team dynamics?
Smirnoff. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold.
That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold.
Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York. Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Roy, can I get a burnt hand update, please? It's looking pretty good. I thought it was going to be a lot worse.
There's not really much damage to be shown here. Let me see that thing. Where's the actual burn? All four fingers right here.
Oh, the tips.
And the thumb. It's on the tips, but not really much damage.
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Chapter 3: What surprising events occurred during the NFL weekend?
OK, congratulations on that, because it was one of the most offensive things I've seen anyone do around here. Blame your wife for your burnt hand. So I wish someone would bring that back to her and I wish it would cause you trouble at home. Why? Because you blamed your wife instantaneously because you came in with a burnt hand when you're an adult human being responsible for your own actions.
And you said it was something she said that annoyed me. I'm sure you couldn't even remember it. I understand that. But why are you trying to wreck my match? Yeah. I'm not trying to wreck your marriage.
You did say you hoped that he got home and there was trouble in his marriage.
Because it'd be content. I'd like the content.
But that's his life. He has a child. You want the child to come from a broken home for content? He's a child.
I don't want the home to break. I think that they could withstand it through the love in their marriage.
Well, my life is content for the show. So yeah, I guess you're right.
Okay. And you burnt your hand and now you're fine. And so even that content was a lie because there was a lie. Well, you don't have any blisters. No one. Did you guys have, look at his hand, Chris, and tell me you see anything.
It'd be hard to tell. Like if you said to me, where in my hand was I burned? I can't tell by looking. And you need to be able to tell if it's a real burn mark.
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Chapter 4: How did the Titans achieve their comeback victory?
Cam Ward dropped back to pass for what might be the single most important pass that he's thrown this season because that team was headed to 0-5. Didn't deserve to win this football game. Won this football game only because, only because when Arizona was up 21-6 with Amari DeMarcato. Descarado. Yes. Keep going.
He goes 71 yards with the football and then right before the goal line casually lays it out and it is not a touchdown. And instead of being up 28-6, the Arizona Cardinals lost a game yesterday that I think it might be the most inexplicable loss I have seen in 25 years watching football because of how the Titans did not deserve to win this game. But Cam Ward's game-winning interception.
No, this is what it was. It was clutch by Cam Ward. Cam Ward gets his first win. Spencer Rattler took him 10. Cam Ward gets his first win because they're hard to come by. No matter how much Descarado. Throws the football game away.
You think Jonathan Gannon's helping the situation? He had no reaction. What do you mean he had no reaction? Throw up the video again. This is courtesy of local news. De Mercado feeling terrible about what happened. Couldn't feel worse. Gannon, yeah, no, let's strike the player. I'm sure that'll fix things.
I thought that guy's been hiding a suppressed rage behind the stoicism of having to coach that mountain of shit out in Arizona every year.
I think they've lost every game by a field goal at the end, right?
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You'll see tons of seats available, lower bowl, midfield, upper deck, and NFL tickets starting at around $100. Pick what you want. Tap, tap, done. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply again. Create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go.
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Chapter 5: What role does public perception play in a quarterback's career?
Oh, my God. It's absolutely true. It's absolutely real. If your player goes down in the first half, you still get paid in cash. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code DAN. That's code DAN. New customers can bet $5 and get $200 in bonus bets if your bet wins. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Hell yeah. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.
In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, pass-through of per-wager tax may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply.
Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.co slash audio. Limited time offer. Don Levitard. If Daniel Day-Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself.
Oh, come on.
Yeah, I would be. Aggressive description.
I mean, what is that?
I'm just saying. You know what? That's me. You're just saying what? That's me. Daniel Day-Lewis does something. I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, Stugatz. I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do. Lincoln, who you outed the other day? Don't make this a rejoin.
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz. Are we still living in a world where you can assume that famous former football players just aren't going to attack you? That's fair. Mark Sanchez. Yes.
Okay, you guys, I didn't know what to do with that story because this is how that story came out. Mark Sanchez was in Indianapolis for Colts Raiders. The Raiders season is a disaster. Pete Carroll regrets coming back. What am I doing with my life? Geno Smith's not going to fix this. I'm not going to be able to fix what plagues the Raiders. The story that comes out during the football Sunday was,
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