The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: Dan Reveals a Secret About the Grid of Death
Thu, 17 Apr 2025
Dan reveals a long-kept secret about the origins of the Grid of Death, and it instantly leads the "Best Revelation" Suey category. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the context of the 'stakes' and the bet involving Zaslow?
So you guys need to understand something. The reason no one wants to wear the costumes is because the costumes are always harder to do your job. We always underestimate. This has been a this is. I mean, this has been a corporate crisis around here. Nobody wants to wear the costumes for good reasons. It's a legitimate punishment.
However, I would say to all people involved, that's the stake of punishments. Like, there have to be consequences. So just like with this Zaslow bet, which I am telling you, if we do not get thousands of people to watch this game with Zaslow because the stakes are... He either gets all or nothing on work for free on his dreams, and it's just one bet for all the stakes.
And even if he wants to weasel out of it, he can't. The stakes have to be maximum, all or nothing, and it has to cost something. And we need to be able to make it like a real gamble. We're working for a gambling company.
We're gambling again. Yeah. Dan, I'd like to raise the stakes a little bit more. There's an app. It's called the Playback app, right? And the Playback app is, it allows you to watch live programming while you are also kind of on the screen as the talent. So what I'm suggesting...
is that we put Zaslow on the playback app while he watches Hawks Heat so people can watch in real time as his hopes soar and his hopes are dashed by the performance of the Miami Heat. What do you think, guys?
I mean, if I choose the Heat game to put everything on the line, I haven't made a decision yet. I don't even know that we're doing that.
Sounds like you don't want these tickets, buddy.
No, I... Listen, I'm going to say this one time, and that's the only time I'm going to say it. Don't question how badly I want to go see Pearl Jam. And let's just leave it at that. So we have an understanding now. We're good.
I'm sorry that I had that tone. And the part that I'm trying to... I really need help from the group so I can get out of this quicksand. Please help me do this, okay? None of this works unless it's an all-or-nothing bet on Zaslow works for free or he gets the night of his life. The nights of his life. Like, that's the stakes.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts discuss the consequences of the Pearl Jam tickets bet?
Zaz. No Pearl Jam tickets. Either. Either show. And indentured servitude. Holy shit. Hold on a second.
Hold on a second. So my favorite team, their season is over. I don't get to see Pearl Jam and indentured servitude. Which your wife hates, by the way. My wife. I don't know if you know this about wives. Love money. Love money.
I'm going to put unhappy wife here. May as well. I don't know if you know this about husbands. Yes, love money. Everybody loves money. Yes, that's true. What is that?
Truth bomb. He's right about that.
Everyone loves money. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Does everyone love money? What is that? What are you guys doing?
Thank you for standing up in the name of feminism, Dan.
What are you doing? You're going to do a second time the dumbass joke of wives love money? Hey!
Does everyone love money, but especially wives?
No! Now, wait a minute. You're soaring too close to the sun. No, that's not true.
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Chapter 3: What is the debate about talking to animals versus speaking multiple human languages?
All right, Zas, you open it up, blindly pick one, and read the topic.
Unlike our steaks, the producer's well done. Hanger?
That's a good one. That's a good one. Excellent, Roy. Thank you.
Wow.
This is a no-brainer.
It's every language, right? Every language. What do I care about what a crocodile thinks?
Forget those frogs. No, I'm talking to animals, dude. What? Imagine you're just walking through. You're like, look at that. Those birds are horny. Or... What are those birds talking about?
Did you hear that? That's crazy. You guys did that very poorly. What? I would absolutely want to talk to animals. That's right. Are you guys out of your mind to have an entire different interaction with a language of every species that does have thoughts and feelings?
Yeah, I really want to know what the bees are saying. Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Oh my God, the queen bee is all on my ass, man.
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Chapter 4: What are the potential benefits and challenges of communicating with animals?
No, they didn't. They just kept bringing him sick animals. Like, that's a terrible lie. And he kept communicating with them. I don't want to fix animals. I want to walk into any bar around the world and be like, oh. My man.
I want to impress people. So, okay. So you just wanted to go into Taiwan and be able to order a beer. Pretty much.
Yes. And then go to Spain, to Salamanca, and have my camera out. And then people say, oh, look at this tourist. And I'm like, oh, turista. And then I'm like, oh, he speaks it too.
I just wish, though, like, you're on a boat, you're out on a boat, you see, like, a dolphin come by. Like, that dolphin's talking shit. That dolphin's talking shit about our boat.
You know what's more useful than that? Walking into, like, Athens, Greece, and then the cab driver's talking shit. And then you talk shit back. Like, hey, man, I understand exactly what you said. Don't pull that shit with me. And they're like, oh, my God, I didn't know you were Greek.
And I'm like, that's right. But see, I already know that I don't like people. I'd love the experience of getting to know some animals and knowing what their personalities are like. I don't need to know more people. You're assuming the animals are going to like you, Jeremy.
They might not like me, but I'd rather have this really cool, unique experience that no one else in the history of mankind has been able to experience. Am I so wrong to want to speak to animals? I'd also love to know what my pets think about me.
All right, do you want to risk that where it's like, oh my God, now I can understand you, Muffin. Aren't you happy that we can communicate? And Muffin says, yeah, you.
I was going to say, Jeremy, you might not like it. What if your cat secretly hates you?
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts imagine using animal communication in everyday scenarios?
No, the thing that Amin is doing that's funny is there is that if the animals had the exact same problems that we do, that you're just listening to it. to a busy intersection of bees yelling at each other angrily because whatever, there's not enough honey. They don't want to work this way.
They even know the lingo to call me a ginger. How are they up on all the phrases?
I'm walking down the street. German Shepherd says, I got my eye on you, boy. Don't even try it. Don't even try it.
What's he reaching for? I would like to hear how they feel about me, though. Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you like to hear? If not a pet, wouldn't you like to know if... What did that squirrel say? Like, because whatever.
Dan, what about, okay, imagine this. You can understand your dog. And remember the night your dog got into all the chocolate and we were all worried and we had to take the dog to the vet? What if that was actually a cry for help from the dog? The dog was like, I can't spend another day with this guy talking about the economies of people built on black bodies. I just, where's the chocolate?
Give me all the chocolate. And as it's laying there, it's like, finally, sweet release, you burst in. They're like, oh, no, they're home early. They're home early because something happened at dinner and they had to come home early.
Do you realize that that would have been my dog announcing to me that that was a suicide attempt?
It's getting dark, actually. Maybe I don't want to talk to animals.
The dark chocolate he ate that night, if he didn't immediately get his stomach pumped, would have been the end of him. That's what the vet's telling you. It would have been nice for him to have been able to tell me that, I think.
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Chapter 6: What are the humorous and serious perspectives on understanding animal thoughts?
Chapter 7: What sponsorship messages are included in this episode?
Chapter 8: Who are the speakers participating in the discussion?
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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. It's not easy to talk, right, Roy? No, this chin, the chin portion is going above my chin. Let me scratch your chin. All right.
So you guys need to understand something. The reason no one wants to wear the costumes is because the costumes are always harder to do your job. We always underestimate. This has been a this is. I mean, this has been a corporate crisis around here. Nobody wants to wear the costumes for good reasons. It's a legitimate punishment.
However, I would say to all people involved, that's the stake of punishments. Like, there have to be consequences. So just like with this Zaslow bet, which I am telling you, if we do not get thousands of people to watch this game with Zaslow because the stakes are... He either gets all or nothing on work for free on his dreams, and it's just one bet for all the stakes.
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