Chapter 1: What fantasy football stressors are discussed in the episode?
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If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers. All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff!
Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff!
Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
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Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero.
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Chapter 2: How does the team react to Dan's unusual sleeping position?
Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
I don't think we're allowed to use that music. That's going to cost us money every time we do it. Tony said we're good. No, this can't be how we do this. We're not allowed music rights. I miss our music. I want music. That's royalty free. You're good.
We found out accidentally from John Tesh yesterday during the interview. He's like, you guys want to hear a funny story? And he's like, you know that Monday Night Football song? That was just like a public domain song. And we have access to certain public domain sites. And we started looking it up. It's like, oh, we pay a subscription to the owner of that song.
So we can technically use that song even though it's a Monday Night Football song. And, you know, we had a little talk and now it's kind of like we're going to use that song until someone says we can't use that song anymore. And then Jeremy took that as an invitation to come in today and write a bunch of songs that we don't want to hear.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of Dan's health concerns?
And these are two of the least informed you will find spouting public opinion. And they run over to where the fires are and they just shout into the fire. LaShawn McCoy, the quote is, they don't respect Tua. This is why the Dolphins can't win the big games. This is why, because our leader can't be a leader. Our leader can't be real. The can't be real part is a note he's hitting there on purpose.
That Tua is some management guy. That Tua is what here? Our leader can't be real is what?
So he's saying... Yeah, I guess he's saying that he's not part of the team, right? He's not one of the other players.
Well, he's management calling out. He's management snitching on the players for being late and not being professional, saying their fault. The leadership problem is everyone but me.
Well, based on what Tua said, I think he could sooner be accused of being too real for calling out his teammates. And management, McDaniel, the next day, does not support what he said. So that's why I say McDaniel really threw his quarterback under the bus.
And now Dez Bryant says, I guarantee a lot of the players don't respect Tua. Tua points the finger, and here's where he's got him, and you can't dispute this. He points the finger, and literally, four are pointing back at him, and he got him there. That's what they say.
That's not true. If you point the finger, it's... Three pointing back at you.
Right, the thumb is pointing the way the finger is. Yeah. You need that thumb to go in the other direction.
I'm doing it right now. That's three pointing back at me. Dan, you're throwing up a gang sign there.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about the use of Monday Night Football's music?
John Sylvan, a man who's amassed a fortune from K-Cups and all that jazz. What did he say?
I regret inventing the K-Cup.
Shut up, John Sylvan.
What? Whoa, come on.
That's something you say when you're rich. Oh, I regret being rich. No, you don't.
Shut up.
Exactly right. Please.
K-Cup, K-Cup.
That's not a respectful use of that music. I think it is. You say it's royalty-free music. I say that music is royalty. I think Tesh said that's the best sports song there's ever been.
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Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes are shared about Greg Cody?
You're playing through pain. You got that bad knee?
Olympian.
You couldn't make it yesterday. You couldn't make it to the show yesterday.
Right. I was on Monday. I'm on twice a week, Dan. That can't be good. We're just looking at it on the screen. Is that your actual MRI? There's no way, right? It looks like a Picasso painting. What the hell is that? I don't know what that is. Looks like that knee's happy to see me. Yeah! I'll find out Friday morning whether I'm having surgery.
There's like mold growing on the middle of your knee there. I don't know if Tony TC can read an x-ray. Buddy, I've had more x-rays and more MRIs than you can even imagine, pal.
What does that mean?
The MRI is magic. The one on the left looks like it's literally screaming in agony. Yeah, it is.
Who's TC?
Tony Colletti. Me, yeah. I know what he's talking about, Dan. Don't worry about it. We're doing a different show here, Dan. We have one theory, because Greg doesn't know how this happened. He has no idea how he injured his knee to the point of potentially needing surgery. I know how it happened. Old. Bowling didn't help, GC. Well, there's bowling. That's a theory.
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Chapter 6: What insights are provided about the Miami Dolphins' performance?
No one knew it. And we told him he's strange, and no one in the audience sleeps that way either.
So you sleep on your back, crisscross applesauce?
Yeah, and here's what's sad about it.
That can't be good for blood flow.
Like a frog. What's sad about it is that instinctively I still begin to do that, only to be reminded that my right knee won't do that. I'm just picturing GC at like 11 p.m. just like, ow! He's exactly right. That's exactly what happens.
So if your one leg can't do it, you sleep like a number four?
No, I resigned myself to having to sleep straight like it, which is awful.
Do you ever sleep on your stomach crisscross applesauce?
No, don't be ridiculous. That would be crazy. But the other one's also crazy, right? That's such a funny visual. Others do it. But so is the one we have, though. But less funny, then. But the real one is also funny because a really dumb vampire would sleep like this, where the joints and the bones are so rickety that they would decide to form over 40 years. No one sleeps like this.
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Chapter 7: What upcoming events are highlighted in the episode?
The wrong way. Up, up, up. Zaz, please, we don't need to see more of this. Zaz, we need more up. That's the epitome of comfort right there. Zaz, I need you to be careful here. Lock those fingers. Zaz, all right, this is what I need you to do, Zaz, and I'm in a panic situation, okay? We're a big, serious television show. We're on Peacock. You're dangerous right now to giving us peak October.
I want to celebrate baseball and peak October, and you need to be careful with the way you flop around back there. But I want you to do it. You just need to get closer to the LED. And I need to see you sleeping like Greg Cody slept in New Orleans when he had mashed potatoes in his hair.
Lace your fingers. Good hips on Zazz, by the way. Doing the crisscross applesauce to the front is hard.
Are you guys claiming... that this is the reason that the knees are shot because he sleeps this way and finally his knees have given out?
No, Dan, so I've actually read the MRI and I'm looking at it right now. I can see the small tear in the ACL right here, actually. So right here, this is the ACL right here. There's actually a little tear right here. You've got to hold the mic near you so we can hear what you're saying. As you can see right here, Mike, go down a little bit. So right here, this is where the ACL is, right here.
Right here. If you see that little shadow right there, that's actually the tear in the ACL. What really concerns me is what's going on here, right? Screaming in agony. Is that the mold that you described? Yeah, what I described as mold, that's got to be like really bad arthritis where your knee is. So, Greg, you got to be worried about that.
Why does it look like Tobey Maguire is saving the Metrorail? Getting ripped in half? Yeah.
I do have arthritis as well, but most people my age do.
Yeah. We're having trouble getting Zazz in exactly the right position that I need him in so that he is sleeping. I don't believe, Chris, if you had to guess, there aren't many things around here that shock everybody. Do you guys believe that if I throw it out to the audience that we will find a great many people who sleep this way? A couple of people who sleep this way? He's the only person.
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Chapter 8: How is the audience encouraged to support Ron McGill's event?
I got 3% supporters.
But if you ever met someone else you've heard to sleep this way?
No, but when do you have that conversation?
Well, that's why we're having it.
Hey, Jack, nice to meet you, by the way. What's your sleeping pattern? You straight-legged like most people? You cross them? What are you doing? No, I don't have that conversation.
AI says that this is not typically used for sleeping. Sleeping in this position can cause spinal misalignment and pressure on nerves, potentially leading to pain or numbness.
The nerve of that.
Mm-hmm. He's right. Don't look at an Olympian like that.
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