Chapter 1: How does fantasy football stress affect players?
Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.
If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!
Chapter 2: What unique fantasy football punishment is revealed?
Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff!
Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold.
That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of James Franklin's firing?
Make your holiday time tis Miller time. And with the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite, you get to remember and reflect on all the good times that you had with your trusty buddy by your side, Miller Lite. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich, balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.
And at 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, it lets you enjoy the season without weighing you down. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different 50 years later. The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories.
Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Don Libetard. I'm not going to apologize.
I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. And you're a fool for saying it.
Stugatz. You're a fool. I was kind of following you.
Oh, you're locking in right now?
You're locking in on us? Yeah, right. Let's drop the gloves, pal. Let's drop the gloves. You should be thanking me. For what? Every day. For what? For what I've done around this character. And the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? Huh? No, no, no. Seriously. Seriously, pal. I've added 10 years to your career. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz.
So Alabama's number three. Notre Dame is number four. Oregon is number five. Georgia is six. Texas is seven. Miami is eight.
That's pretty ridiculous.
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Chapter 4: How does Baker Mayfield's performance impact his reputation?
Guys, let's watch the video. Look at how he gets freed. Let's watch.
One guy lifts it.
Apparently, the strongest person on the planet comes to his aid. One guy seen. One guy. Look. Look.
Look.
There could be other people lifting.
Look, that's all you need. One guy.
There's two people there. Okay, two guys lifted. Come on. That you saw in the video. You had nine people there on the goal post? The creatine these days is so good, kid. Beluga whales can weigh up to 1,600 kilograms, which is actually 3,500 pounds. It's like half a beluga. All right, so if both goalposts fell on you, it'd be the beluga whales.
Female beluga whales can weigh 1,500 to 2,600 pounds. Okay, so a small... Where beluga caviar comes from. Is that so?
Yep. No.
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Chapter 5: What are the current NFL MVP odds for Baker Mayfield?
I grew up thinking beluga whales equals beluga caviar. But you're right. That's what makes a whale a mammal is that they give live birth.
Although whale sharks, not whales. Chris, can you get me an assortment of sounds? I've gotten distracted today because I meant to start the show during the shadow show before Billy put me in an ascot with three sounds that I wanted to go to today from last week for a particular reason. Can you get me the Kendrick Perkins first on just and please add to the list.
Tell me what others are in show history that would feel or sound like this. Get me that Kendrick Perkins sound. Bam out of the bayou. So that's him trying to say Bam out of Bayou. Bam out of the Bayou. And he did not say it correctly. And then we've also got poor Mad Dog last week trying to say the name of Yankees pitcher Schlittler.
And then we'll get into Schlittler, who obviously was Schittler. And we also have just Gronk being Gronk. I'm scared of Emeka Abuka's name because of how he says it, I get scared to say it. I was saying this in my house to myself all. That's his name now.
There were two stories I thought, you tell me if you think you have a bigger one than this, because I know the Chiefs being three and three and the Chiefs are always the biggest thing. But from yesterday's games, I thought the two takeaways that I had that were the biggest were, oh, Seattle is good. They're just simply good.
And they have somebody who is now challenging Justin Jefferson for Sam Darnold's really going to have the best weapon in the league yards per catch at receiver because I think Smith and Jigba has snuck up on some people. Maybe shouldn't have, but best receiver in the league type good? I'm not sure a lot of people were having that conversation before.
before this season and the number of yards that he has per catch. It's hard to talk about Seattle because that defense travels. They've won nine straight on the road. And they were favored yesterday at Jacksonville. They were favored and should have been because they're not as dumb as that team is. They're not...
that Jacksonville, that's exactly how Jacksonville is going to play in all of those games when they meet the very best of the disciplined teams. And Seattle has something in the connection between its quarterback and that wide receiver that they have big plays the way nobody has big plays. So there's that one story over there.
But then seeing Tampa again with injuries, and I thought Baker Mayfield pull off
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